Fantasy Golf: The Sony Open Preview

Rolling into this week off an effort that saw me find only two of the top ten in a fifty-nine man field including a T45 from pick of the week Tom Kim. Then again, I just had one of the most bizarrely positive airport experiences that might fool you into thinking things are breaking your way so a dramatic turnaround could be in the offing.

First of all, on the way to my daughter's exploitive money grab soccer tournament in Florida, everything could not have gone smoother and everyone from TSA to Southwest to Alamo could not have been friendlier and more helpful. And that wasn't even the good part. On the way back, I arrived two hours early for my delayed flight only to hear someone announce over the loudspeaker that "flight 1234 to Baltimore is now boarding at Gate 12." 

I immediately thought to myself "what is this sorcery?" but when I walked over, there was in fact a flight boarding that did in fact have room on it that I then in fact boarded right before they closed the door. Turns-out it had been delayed two hours so I found myself in the role of happiest guy on a plane full of disgruntled passengers and, when I tell you that was a new experience for me, I'm talking unprecedented.

The positive effect was so powerful that I was almost un-phased by returning to a monsoon and a job that I'm pretty sure is going to have me parking in the owner's spot and gutting a fish at my desk by Presidents' Day. Probably need to clear that song out of my head before things go completely sideways.      

TWEET OF THE WEEK

This tweet stands pretty well on its own as a quality shot at Josh Allen but that's not why it made the cut this week. I spent the first year of my legal career in the role of the dude on the right of the screen only I sat in front of the bench with unobstructed access to the path that led from the defense table to the judge. To further set the scene, I can tell you that bailiffs have mastered the art of sleeping while standing-up with their eyes open so courtroom security runs from lax to nonexistent (as evidenced in the video).

At least once a month I would catch that look in the eye of an accused and I would stare at him thinking as hard as I could, "DO IT . . . YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO . . . COME ON YOU FUCKING COWARD . . . MAKE YOUR MOVE!!!" I was so ready to throw a roll block just to break the monotony. Meanwhile, I was paying no attention to what anyone was saying. Pretty sure that either made me the best or worst clerk in the history of the Anne Arundel County Circuit Courthouse. Jury's still out.     

“Hey Josh, we should have the flat wide open on this one”

Josh Allen: pic.twitter.com/BL4YtpBtwu

— Christopher Powers (@CPowers14) January 8, 2024

GOLF ANALYSIS

Picking this tournament calls to mind George Carlin's take on kids who are "picky eaters." According to George, "picky eaters" is just a euphemism for "HUGE PAIN IN THE ASS." Maybe since today is the fifty-five year anniversary of the date that this picky eater was dragged screaming into existence, I'll find some luck. (Every year on this date another dozen people who bet the under have to rip-up their tickets).

We're not going to waste a lot of time on this. Ben An is the pick because he comes in playing well and he appears to be a man on a mission this year. The same can be said for Denny McCarthy and this just feels like a place he could land that first win.

I generally don't like picking guys who won the previous week but I'm pretty sure that I've previously tried that strategy with Chris Kirk and it's backfired so throw him in the mix along with other guys who have strong track records here like Corey Conners and Matt Kuchar. More on Tyrrell Hatton below. 

There are actually a bunch of strong sleeper candidates including Will Gordon and Tyler Duncan but I'm going with David Lipsky in honor of my friend Johnny who has big lips.    

One and Done Pick: Byeong Hun An

Yeah Ben I don't know either
but now we're in this together.

Other Guy I'd Pick: Denny McCarthy

Sleeper Pick: David Lipsky

DraftKings Top Ten Values

Tyrrell Hatton	$10,300
Corey Conners	$9,800
Chris Kirk	$9,500
Byeong Hun An	$8,700
Denny McCarthy	$8,400
Matt Kuchar	$7,800
Lucas Glover	$7,700
Keith Mitchell	$7,500
Taylor Montgomery	$7,100
David Lipsky	$6,600

For those of us of a certain age (noted above), Monday night marked the end of an era as it was presumably the last meaningful game played by a football team as a member of the PAC-12. For those of us from the east, there was always something otherworldly about a Saturday afternoon USC home game at the Rose Bowl whether they were playing UCLA, Washington, Stanford or any other conference opponent. There were other big games that often mattered more but those just hit different. And now, like just about everything else they touch, the people who run college football have fucked it all up.

                                  THE PAC-12 CONFERENCE MEMORIAL

                                   HISTORICAL PERFORMANCE CHART

A lot of DNP's at the top of the chart this week so it's a bit of a blind dart throw but mine hit Terrell Hatton who seems to thrive in warm weather conditions which is ironic for a British mole person. Webb Simpson's record here is worth noting if you think he's found the path back . . . which I don't.

	DK Price	2023	2022	2021	2020	2019
Ludvig Aberg	$10,500	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Tyrrell Hatton	$10,300	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Matt Fitzpatrick	$10,200	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Sahith Theegala	$10,000	DNP	T48	DNP	DNP	DNP
Brian Harman	$9,900	T32	T48	T56	T32	MC
Corey Conners	$9,800	T12	11th	DNP	T12	T3
Eric Cole	$9,700	T61	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Russell Henley	$9,600	T32	2nd	T11	MC	66th
Chris Kirk	$9,500	3rd	T27	T2	MC	MC
Will Zalatoris	$9,300	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
J.T. Poston	$9,100	T21	T42	MC	MC	T20
Hideki Matsuyama	$9,000	T48	1st	T19	T12	T51
Byeong Hun An	$8,700	T12	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Si Woo Kim	$8,600	1st	T55	T25	DNP	MC
Cam Davis	$8,500	T32	T27	31st	T9	MC
Denny McCarthy	$8,400	T32	T48	DNP	DNP	DNP
Harris English	$8,300	T73	T55	T32	DNP	T22
Justin Rose	$8,200	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Keegan Bradley	$8,200	MC	T12	MC	T12	T29
Stephan Jaeger	$8,100	T28	MC	DNP	DNP	T43
Adam Hadwin	$8,000	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	T57
Alex Noren	$7,900	DNP	DNP	DNP	T32	DNP
Brendon Todd	$7,900	T21	T48	T41	T21	DNP
Akshay Bhatia	$7,800	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Matt Kuchar	$7,800	T7	T7	MC	MC	1st
Adam Svensson	$7,700	T41	T7	DNP	DNP	DNP
Lucas Glover	$7,700	MC	T5	DNP	DNP	DNP
J.J. Spaun	$7,600	T12	MC	MC	MC	DNP
Luke List	$7,600	DNP	DNP	MC	MC	DNP
Tom Hoge	$7,600	T41	MC	MC	T12	MC
Aaron Rai	$7,500	T61	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP
Andrew Putnam	$7,500	T4	T27	MC	T57	2nd
Keith Mitchell	$7,500	MC	T7	T14	MC	T16
Ben Griffin	$7,400	T12	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Billy Horschel	$7,400	MC	T36	T7	DNP	DNP
Emiliano Grillo	$7,400	MC	MC	T47	T21	T22
Justin Suh	$7,400	T41	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Adrien De Chassart	$7,300	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Kurt Kitayama	$7,300	T73	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP
Matt Wallace	$7,300	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Patrick Rodgers	$7,300	DNP	DNP	DNP	T32	MC
Erik Van Rooyen	$7,200	DNP	T20	MC	DNP	DNP
Nick Taylor	$7,200	T7	MC	T11	T32	MC
Taylor Pendrith	$7,200	DNP	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP
Vincent Norrman	$7,200	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Alex Smalley	$7,100	MC	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP
Gary Woodland	$7,100	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP	MDF
Nick Hardy	$7,100	T41	MC	T14	DNP	DNP
Taylor Montgomery	$7,100	T12	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Davis Thompson	$7,000	T54	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Mark Hubbard	$7,000	MC	MC	T32	MC	DNP
Se. Kim	$7,000	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
K.H. Lee	$6,900	T28	T48	T19	MC	MC
Robert Macintyre	$6,900	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Ryan Palmer	$6,900	T32	T12	T41	T4	DNP
Seamus Power	$6,900	DNP	T3	MC	DNP	MC
Davis Riley	$6,800	DNP	T20	DNP	DNP	DNP
Doug Ghim	$6,800	DNP	DNP	MC	MC	DNP
Maverick McNealy	$6,800	T7	T27	DNP	DNP	DNP
Patton Kizzire	$6,800	76th	T42	T7	MC	T13
Webb Simpson	$6,800	MC	T61	T4	3rd	DNP
Greyson Sigg	$6,700	T48	T42	DNP	DNP	DNP
David Lipsky	$6,600	T4	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP
Dylan Wu	$6,600	DNP	T20	DNP	DNP	DNP
Hayden Buckley	$6,600	2nd	T12	DNP	DNP	DNP
Tyler Duncan	$6,600	MC	MC	DNP	MC	T57
Cameron Champ	$6,500	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	MDF
Nate Lashley	$6,500	T7	MC	MC	T53	DNP
Will Gordon	$6,500	T28	DNP	MC	MC	DNP
Aaron Baddeley	$6,400	T7	DNP	T41	DNP	DNP
Ben Martin	$6,300	T32	DNP	DNP	T46	MC
Joel Dahmen	$6,300	DNP	MC	DNP	T12	T22
Kevin Streelman	$6,300	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP

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