Fantasy Golf: The Farmers Insurance Open Preview

Apparently we need to talk about NFL clock management again. Not because there's a chance in hell that it will ever get better as long as monuments to mediocrity like Mike McCarthy keep getting jobs and nerds like Mike McDaniel would rather burn a timeout than just run a damn play on 2nd and 6 in the third quarter. The coaches are a lost cause. And besides, we now we have a much bigger and more annoying problem.

The fucking announcers.

On Sunday evening the Dallas Cowboys got the ball on their own 6 yard line with 45 seconds left and no timeouts. They needed a touchdown to tie. And that is when Greg Olsen decided to load a giant word salad into a pumpkin chucker and let it rip.

An atomic physicist could explain nuclear fission to a caveman in fewer words than Olsen thought were necessary to tell us that the Cowboys needed to throw passes to the sidelines. Because that's how you make the clock stop in a football game when you don't have any timeouts. You run out of bounds. In other words, you take the ball and cross the line on the side of the field. Then the guy running the clock hits a button and makes it stop. But then it starts again on the next play. So you should run out of bounds to make the clock stop. Again. Your strategy on the next play should be to throw a pass near the sideline. So the guy who catches it has a better chance to run out of bounds. To make the clock stop. As you process all of this, don't forget that if you get tackled in bounds, the clock does not stop. So the goal is to get out of bounds. To make the clock stop. So the game doesn't end. And you lose. Shoot me.  

TWEET OF THE WEEK

Let's just say that this tweet hit very close to home after last Sunday when I tried to break through my writer's block with an herbal sledgehammer.  

Dispensary Employee: This strain will really help your creativity blossom, it’s a very productive strain so I recommend trying it when you’re feeling sluggish or like you’re dealing with brain fog

Me after 2 hits: Beesechurger

— jon drake (@DrakeGatsby) January 16, 2023

GOLF ANALYSIS

Hey thanks for the heads-up that this tournament starts tomorrow. If you assumed that a guy who writes a fantasy golf blog would have known that, you must be new here. Welcome.

The good news is that Jon Rahm is the most obvious choice since Jared Leto auditioned to play Steve Prefontaine. He's been dominant at this event since 2017 and he even threw-in a U.S. Open title on the South Course in 2021 for good measure. If you haven't already used him this year (like I have 😉), then use him now or get what you deserve.

From there it gets interesting. Tony Finau was a FGR lock here for years until inflation hit his DraftKings price. He's still a great option but what kind of self-respecting fantasy golf site would this be if I just told you to pick the two favorites? (Don't answer that). Instead we'll go with last year's runner-up Will Zalatoris who also finished T7 here in 2021. He gets the slight nod over Xander Schauffele who's bad back seemed fine last week but sometimes that's just what bad backs want you to think. And then WHAMMO!!!

Here are a few more useful nuggets before we race this thing to the presses. 

• It's California so you have to pick Max Homa and Maverick McNealy.
• Scott Stallings had a win and a runner-up here in 2014 and 2015. 
• You gotta ride Ryan Palmer's hustler swing on courses he likes.
• We're on the Michael Thompson sleeper train until it derails.

One more thing. We know that a Taylor or Davis win is imminent (those are first names). The barbarians are at the gates but we're holding the line at Justins and Camerons. Some bridges are simply too far. (That all made sense after the fourth glass of wine). 

One and Done Pick: Will Zalatoris

The slender one is due
for this second win.

Other Guy I'd Pick: Jon Rahm

Sleeper Pick: Michael Thompson

DraftKings Top Ten Values

Jon Rahm	$11,600
Will Zalatoris	$9,700
Max Homa	$9,100
Maverick McNealy	$8,600
J.J. Spaun	$8,500
Justin Rose	$8,100
Scott Stallings	$7,700
Ryan Palmer	$7,500
Robby Shelton	$7,200
Michael Thompson	$6,800

This week's memorial was a close call with the recent passing of music icons Jeff Beck and David Crosby but, when we lose one of the greatest names in the history of sports, attention must be paid.

                                         THE SAL BANDO MEMORIAL

                                  HISTORICAL PERFORMANCE CHART 

The two most glaring omissions from our top ten list based on historical performance are defending champion Luke List and Jason Day. List may be worth a flyer but Day has gone eight straight tournaments without a W/D. Just sayin'. 

	DK Price	2022	2021	2020	2019	2018
Jon Rahm	$11,600	T3	T7	2nd	T5	T29
Tony Finau	$10,500	MC	T2	T6	T13	T6
Xander Schauffele	$10,300	T34	T2	MC	T25	MC
Colin Morikawa	$10,000	DNP	DNP	T21	DNP	DNP
Will Zalatoris	$9,700	2nd	T7	DNP	DNP	MC
Justin Thomas	$9,400	T20	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Sungjae Im	$9,300	T6	T32	T36	T52	DNP
T. Montgomery	$9,200	T11	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Max Homa	$9,100	MC	T18	T9	DNP	DNP
Hideki Matsuyama	$9,000	T30	T53	T45	T3	T12
Si Woo Kim	$8,900	T11	MC	DNP	T29	T35
Jason Day	$8,800	T3	MC	T16	T5	1st
Sahith Theegala	$8,700	T25	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Maverick McNealy	$8,600	T30	MC	15th	DNP	T29
J.J. Spaun	$8,500	T34	MC	T30	MC	T23
Cameron Davis	$8,400	T56	T32	T36	T57	T58
Keegan Bradley	$8,300	T65	DNP	T16	T35	5th
Adam Hadwin	$8,200	MC	T18	DNP	DNP	T35
Justin Rose	$8,100	T6	DNP	MC	1st	T8
Hayden Buckley	$8,000	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Luke List	$8,000	1st	T10	T36	T40	T12
Taylor Pendrith	$7,900	T16	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Wyndham Clark	$7,900	T56	T32	MC	T35	DNP
Davis Thompson	$7,800	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Harris English	$7,800	DNP	MC	T71	MC	T8
Alex Smalley	$7,700	T56	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Scott Stallings	$7,700	T46	MC	T49	T43	MC
Kurt Kitayama	$7,600	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Rickie Fowler	$7,600	MC	T53	MC	T66	MC
Ty Detry	$7,600	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Davis Riley	$7,500	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Dean Burmeister	$7,500	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Ryan Palmer	$7,500	T16	T2	T21	T13	T2
Sebastian Munoz	$7,500	T39	DNP	MC	T72	DNP
Gary Woodland	$7,400	T39	T48	MC	T9	T12
Nick Hardy	$7,400	MC	DNP	DNP	MC	DNP
Trey Mullinax	$7,400	MC	DNP	78th	T25	MC
Will Gordon	$7,400	DNP	T42	T21	DNP	DNP
Beau Hossler	$7,300	MC	MC	T9	T57	T35
Ben Griffin	$7,300	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Brendan Steele	$7,300	DNP	DNP	MC	DNP	T29
Emiliano Grillo	$7,300	MC	MC	MC	T52	T12
Patrick Rodgers	$7,300	T62	MC	T9	MC	MC
Aaron Rai	$7,200	T6	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Adam Svensson	$7,200	79th	DNP	DNP	T35	DNP
Byeong Hun An	$7,200	DNP	T75	T68	DNP	DNP
Garrick Higgo	$7,200	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Robby Shelton	$7,200	DNP	T16	T36	DNP	DNP
Stephen Jaeger	$7,200	MC	DNP	DNP	T66	MC
Ben Taylor	$7,100	DNP	MC	T55	DNP	DNP
Cameron Champ	$7,100	T46	MC	T16	MC	DNP
Martin Laird	$7,100	T46	MC	T55	T43	MC
Matthew NeSmith	$7,100	T34	T48	T30	DNP	DNP
Patton Kizzire	$7,100	MC	DNP	MC	DNP	DNP
Aaron Baddeley	$7,000	DNP	MC	T64	DNP	MC
Jhonattan Vegas	$7,000	T39	MC	T30	MC	MC
Lee Hodges	$7,000	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Charley Hoffman	$6,900	DNP	W/D	T9	MC	T35
Harry Higgs	$6,900	MC	T65	T9	DNP	DNP
Adam Long	$6,800	T65	DNP	DNP	MC	DNP
Doc Redman	$6,800	T25	MC	T64	DNP	DNP
Doug Ghim	$6,800	T34	T37	MC	T20	DNP
Kevin Streelman	$6,800	T39	T37	T45	MC	T29
M. Thompson	$6,800	T11	DNP	MC	T13	MC
Scott Piercy	$6,800	76th	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Dylan Frittelli	$6,600	MC	T53	T73	MC	DNP
J.B. Holmes	$6,400	DNP	MC	T16	MC	4th
Rory Sabbatini	$6,400	T70	T10	T36	T70	T20
Peter Malnati	$6,300	T25	T10	MC	MC	MC

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