Wednesday, August 28, 2024

Fantasy Golf: The Tour Championship Preview

The bad news is that the golf season effectively shuts down after this weekend unless you count the President's Cup which is in Canada this year so I'm not really sure how you can. The good news, however, is that Mercury is finally moving-out of retrograde and, I don't know about you but for me, it can't happen soon enough. I think the universe has had enough of my shit and is trying to take me out.

After surviving my midnight run weaving through 18-wheelers on my way to Memphis and moving my son into a house two doors down from porch front drug dealers (who are allegedly "really nice guys"), I returned to the relative safety of Baltimore. That lasted all of one day before I was running down a basketball court and managed to roll my ankle with such violence that I did an almost full face plant broken slightly by my left wrist which may itself be broken. Witnesses would later say it looked like I got shot. 

Injuries now include my left ankle, left wrist, right shoulder and face. My golf swing is currently being held together with duct tape and my primary swing thought is "ow." But we must sally forth because, while the PGA Tour gets ready to shut it down, local senior golf season is just ramping-up and it's been way too long since my name was carved into a piece of wood mounted outside of the locker room shitter.       

TWEET OF THE WEEK

I'm really trying to avoid politics but I'm not sure how that's going to be possible if J.D. Vance keeps trying to interact with people like he's a normal human. 


GOLF ANALYSIS

If the proliferation of sports gambling achieves anything, let's hope it's the death of this stupid fucking format. Having the favorite in a golf tournament go off at +115 and the longest shot in a thirty man field go off at +100,000 is absurd. I guess there's some top five value if you feel a run coming from a guy like Sungjae Im (+500), Billy Horschel (+1100) or Taylor Pendrith (+2000). I think I feel it but that could also be the long term effect of my jaw hitting the floor.   

Xander Schauffele is as close to a lock to win here as any player is anywhere so maybe parlay him with one of the aforementioned top five guys for some goofy action. That's really all I've got. Dad's tired. 

One and Done Pick: Xander Schauffele
You simply don't bet against 
the Prince of East Lake.

Other Guy I'd Pick: Viktor Hovland

Sleeper Pick: Taylor Pendrith 

DraftKings Top Ten Values

Xander Schauffele

$11,000

Rory McIlroy

$9,600

Patrick Cantlay

$9,400

Collin Morikawa

$9,100

Viktor Hovland

$8,300

Sungjae Im

$7,500

Billy Horschel

$7,100

Justin Thomas

$6,800

Taylor Pendrith

$6,500

Chris Kirk

$6,200


If you're looking for a ray of sunshine in this otherwise cloudy post, I give you the fact that rumors of a Ted Lasso Season 4 are now swirling. This is welcome news for those of us who have been trying to fill that void with shows based on good books that someone paid David Kelley to butcher.  

                                            THE TED LASSO SEASON 4
                                    HISTORICAL PERFORMANCE CHART 

As a point of parliamentary procedure, I will note that the chart below does not remove the formatting so it's not a great indicator of who actually plays well at East Lake. If they keep-up with this nonsense for another year, I may actually dig-in to produce a chart with the real scoring (but I doubt it).

 

DK Price

2023

2022

2021

2020

2019

Scottie Scheffler

$12,200

T6

T2

T22

5th

DNP

Xander Schauffele

$11,000

2nd

4th

T5

T2

2nd

Hideki Matsuyama

$10,100

DNP

T11

T26

T15

T9

Ludvig Aberg

$9,900

DNP

DNP

DNP

DNP

DNP

Rory McIlroy

$9,600

4th

1st

T14

T8

1st

Patrick Cantlay

$9,400

5th

T7

1st

DNP

T21

Collin Morikawa

$9,100

T6

T21

T26

6th

DNP

Keegan Bradley

$8,700

T9

DNP

DNP

DNP

DNP

Sam Burns

$8,500

T9

24th

T18

DNP

DNP

Viktor Hovland

$8,300

1st

T15

T5

T20

DNP

Wyndham Clark

$8,100

3rd

DNP

DNP

DNP

DNP

Adam Scott

$7,900

DNP

25th

DNP

DNP

6th

Tony Finau

$7,700

DNP

9th

T11

17th

7th

T. Fleetwood

$7,600

T6

DNP

DNP

DNP

T16

Sungjae Im

$7,500

24th

T2

T20

T11

DNP

Russell Henley

$7,400

T14

DNP

DNP

DNP

DNP

Shane Lowry

$7,300

DNP

DNP

DNP

DNP

DNP

Byeong Hun An

$7,200

DNP

DNP

DNP

DNP

DNP

Billy Horschel

$7,100

DNP

T21

T9

30th

DNP

Sahith Theegala

$7,000

DNP

28th

DNP

DNP

DNP

Akshay Bhatia

$6,900

DNP

DNP

DNP

DNP

DNP

Justin Thomas

$6,800

DNP

T7

4th

T2

T3

Sepp Straka

$6,700

T14

T7

DNP

DNP

DNP

Robert Macintyre

$6,600

DNP

DNP

DNP

DNP

DNP

Taylor Pendrith

$6,500

DNP

DNP

DNP

DNP

DNP

Aaron Rai

$6,400

DNP

DNP

DNP

DNP

DNP

C. Bezuidenhout

$6,300

DNP

DNP

DNP

DNP

DNP

Chris Kirk

$6,200

DNP

DNP

DNP

DNP

DNP

Tom Hoge

$6,100

DNP

10th

DNP

DNP

DNP

Matthieu Pavon

$6,000

DNP

DNP

DNP

DNP

DNP


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