Wednesday, May 31, 2023

Fantasy Golf: The Memorial Preview

Man fuck LIVGolf. Seriously. They cost us at least a half dozen quality players in this week's field and for what? The novelty of laughing at it has officially worn-off. I tuned-in for about fifteen minutes of that hot garbage last weekend and it was like watching a member-guest tournament on Bloomberg with hometown high school football announcers. 

Men who shouldn't be wearing shorts on TV were wearing shorts and there was some random music playing in the background on half the holes which I assume was supposed to be part of the "experience" but just made it sound like they accidentally scheduled the event next to a cover band festival. The announcers clearly get bonus bucks for excessive propogandizing and there were graphics crawling all over the screen like a freakin' ant farm. By the third reference to the RangeGoats (one word) and the 4Aces (one number and a word), I was lunging for the remote.        

TWEET OF THE WEEK

If you haven't had the pleasure of watching the Blue Angels perform over the Severn River, it's well worth the trip to Annapolis the week before Memorial Day. Ironically, I played against a former Blue Angel pilot last Friday. Call sign "Sandbagger." 


GOLF ANALYSIS

There are locks and there are lead-pipe locks. Then there is Patrick Cantlay at the Memorial. In the old days I would make at least some effort to project the picks out for the year to make sure that I had no-brainer picks like this one set ahead of time. This year, however, I got jumpy and used Cantlay at the Match Play so we need to look elsewhere. For a golfer and a hobby. 

Now we could attack this problem with a conventional golfer but that could take years and cost millions of lives. No, in this case I think we have to go all out. I think this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part . . . and we're just the guys to do it. With that being said, I actually love the Sahith Theegala pick but I feel compelled to quote this most underrated part of one of the most iconic (and slightly overrated) scenes in movie history at least once a year. And I had no original ideas.  

The rest of the picks are fairly old school and unimaginative much like our host this week (heyooo we kid because we love). Muirfield does tend to reward experience so there is a method being applied here. I mean there's always a method. This week there's just an explainable reason behind it. 

One and Done Pick: Sahith Theegala
Sahith was actually an aspiring
chess player in high school but
then he got his ass kicked by a
kid named Derek. True story.

Other Guy I'd Pick: Patrick Cantlay

Sleeper Pick: Kevin Streelman 

DraftKings Top Ten Values

Patrick Cantlay

$10,500

Viktor Hovland

$9,700

Jason Day

$9,400

Sahith Theegala

$8,400

Shane Lowry

$8,100

Si Woo Kim

$8,000

Billy Horschel

$7,500

Byeung Hun An

$7,400

Adam Hadwin

$7,200

Kevin Streelman

$6,700


This week we honor the Queen of Rock 'n' Roll (which I honestly didn't know was Tina Turner's nickname) with one of her classics that will shake your shit. Feel free to fast forward to the tempo change and then dial-up River Deep, Mountain High if you're looking for more.

                                     WHAT'S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH THIS
                                     HISTORICAL PERFORMANCE CHART?

Obviously a potent field for Jack's tournament with some very strong showings from the A-List players. We've included the results from the Workday event which was played on the same course and shoehorned into the schedule that year. Worth noting that Jon Rahm was leading after three rounds in 2021 when he got taken-out by the VID. 

 

DK Price

2022

2021

2020

WDAY

2019

Scottie Scheffler

$11,300

DNP

3rd

T22

MC

DNP

Jon Rahm

$11,000

T10

W/D

1st

T27

DNP

Rory McIlroy

$10,600

T18

T18

T32

DNP

MC

Patrick Cantlay

$10,500

T3

1st

T32

T7

1st

Xander Schauffele

$10,200

T18

T11

T13

T14

T14

Collin Morikawa

$9,900

MC

2nd

T48

1st

DNP

Viktor Hovland

$9,700

T51

T47

T48

3rd

DNP

Jason Day

$9,400

31st

DNP

T4

T7

MC

Tyrrell Hatton

$9,300

DNP

DNP

DNP

DNP

T33

Justin Thomas

$9,200

DNP

T42

T18

2nd

MC

Sungjae Im

$9,100

T10

MC

MC

63rd

T57

Matthew Fitzpatrick

$9,000

MC

MC

3rd

T27

T68

Jordan Spieth

$8,900

T18

T18

T13

MC

T7

Cameron Young

$8,800

T60

DNP

DNP

DNP

DNP

Hideki Matsuyama

$8,700

DQ

T62

MC

T22

6th

Sam Burns

$8,600

DNP

T50

DNP

T17

W/D

Rickie Fowler

$8,500

T64

T11

MC

T22

T14

Sahith Theegala

$8,400

T5

T32

DNP

DNP

DNP

Corey Conners

$8,300

T13

T53

T22

T39

T65

Wyndham Clark

$8,200

T37

MC

MC

DNP

DNP

Shane Lowry

$8,100

T32

T6

MC

T39

DNP

Adam Scott

$8,000

T67

T16

DNP

DNP

2nd

Si Woo Kim

$8,000

T13

T9

T18

64th

T41

Russell Henley

$7,900

DNP

MC

DNP

T7

DNP

Tom Kim

$7,900

DNP

DNP

DNP

DNP

DNP

Keegan Bradley

$7,800

T37

MC

T68

T39

MC

Emiliano Grillo

$7,800

T32

MC

MC

MC

T9

Gary Woodland

$7,700

MC

MC

T22

T5

T52

Cameron Davis

$7,700

T53

MC

DNP

MC

DNP

Keith Mitchell

$7,600

T18

DNP

T22

MC

T48

Denny McCarthy

$7,600

T5

MC

T58

MC

DNP

Billy Horschel

$7,500

1st

67th

T13

T7

T9

Matt Kuchar

$7,500

T45

DNP

T32

T39

MC

Harris English

$7,500

MC

DNP

T13

DNP

DNP

Chris Kirk

$7,400

T53

T26

DNP

MC

DNP

Byeon Hun An

$7,400

DNP

MC

DNP

MC

T17

Kurt Kitayama

$7,400

MC

DNP

DNP

DNP

DNP

Tom Hoge

$7,300

MC

MC

MC

MC

DNP

K.H. Lee

$7,300

T53

T65

DNP

T35

T37

Brian Harman

$7,200

T18

DNP

MC

DNP

T27

Adam Hadwin

$7,200

T18

MC

T54

T35

T52

C. Bezuidenhout

$7,200

DNP

T37

T18

DNP

DNP

Taylor Montgomery

$7,200

DNP

DNP

DNP

DNP

 DNP

Seamus Power

$7,100

MC

DNP

DNP

DNP

DNP

Patrick Rodgers

$7,100

MC

MC

T18

MC

DNP

Thomas Detry

$7,100

DNP

DNP

DNP

DNP

DNP

Ryan Fox

$7,100

DNP

DNP

DNP

DNP

DNP

Beau Hossler

$7,000

T32

DNP

DNP

MC

MC

Stephen Jaeger

$7,000

DNP

DNP

DNP

DNP

DNP

Hayden Buckley

$7,000

DNP

DNP

DNP

DNP

DNP

Davis Riley

$6,900

T13

DNP

DNP

DNP

DNP

Justin Suh

$6,900

DNP

DNP

DNP

DNP

MC

Adam Schenk

$6,800

T26

DNP

DNP

DNP

T55

J.T. Poston

$6,800

T37

DNP

MC

DNP

T52

Kevin Streelman

$6,700

MC

T13

T54

T7

4th

Brendon Todd

$6,700

DNP

T53

T22

DNP

DNP

Garrick Higgo

$6,700

T18

DNP

DNP

DNP

DNP

Sepp Straka

$6,600

T45

MC

61st

T14

DNP

Luke List

$6,600

T26

MC

T10

MC

MC

Alex Noren

$6,500

MC

T13

MC

DNP

T41

Mackenzie Hughes

$6,500

T37

MC

T6

T48

DNP

Aaron Rai

$6,500

T26

DNP

DNP

DNP

DNP

Joel Dahmen

$6,400

T32

T32

74th

MC

T68

Stewart Cink

$6,300

MC

T47

T62

T17

DNP

Scott Stallings

$6,300

MC

DNP

DNP

T58

T48

Francesco Molinari

$6,300

T26

DNP

DNP

DNP

DNP

Lucas Glover

$6,200

T60

T37

T38

DNP

T52

Lanto Griffin

$6,100

T51

MC

T44

MC

DNP


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