Fantasy Golf: The Hero World Challenge Preview

Every year at some point in October I grab a few cases of red wine and figuratively crawl into a dark space away from the falling leaves and shortening days. This conveniently coincides with the end of meaningful golf for the year which also gives me an excuse to stop writing, thereby severing one of my few remaining ties to the outside world. During that stretch of fall, I will literally find myself staring at the blank screen of my laptop and exclaiming "WRITE YOUR OWN FUCKING BUTTERFIELD BERMUDA CHAMPIONSHIP PREVIEW!!!" before slamming it shut, topping off my merlot and watching another episode of Suits. 

The obvious diagnosis is seasonal affective disorder and you know you're highly susceptible to it if, for as long as you can remember, the sound of the ticking clock at the start of 60 Minutes has made you want to jump out of a moving car . . . while crossing the Chesapeake Bay Bridge. I used to combat it by distracting myself with coaching soccer and watching football but now my kids have grown-up and the NFL is borderline unwatchable dogshit. (And this from a guy who's favorite team is 9-3). 

So I do what most guys do and bury myself in work while I wait for the fever to break. It's a gradual and inevitable process that starts with a few small victories like being honored as the Newport News Marriott Guest of the Day (which actually happened) and hitting light traffic at rush hour on a Tuesday (which miraculously also happened . . . once). Then there are the occasional setbacks like your daughter's team getting knocked out of the playoffs on an overtime own-goal (happened) and your boss screaming at you to "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" on a conference call (yes that also really happened and no, I did not honor his request . . . would never let you down like that). 

And then, suddenly and out of nowhere, you get an undeniable sign that maybe everything is going to be ok. Could be in the form of winning the lottery, reconnecting with an old friend or actually playing basketball for an hour without feeling like someone hit your calf with a lawn dart. 

This year it came in the form of a twenty-four word tweet from some random guy named Doug (not "Turd") Ferguson which simply said, Paul Azinger has called his last call for NBC. They are parting ways. His last event was the Ryder Cup without really knowing it. 

I think I actually teared-up a bit when I read it. My feelings about Azinger and his (ahem) "abilities" as an announcer are well-documented and were summed-up in the tweet below. The fact is he was below average at best when it came to doing the job but what always drew my ire was the smug arrogance he employed to mask his incompetence. And that smug arrogance was doubly masked by his aw shucks podunk style which was complete bullshit considering he was born in Massachusetts and then moved to Sarasota, Florida which ain't exactly on the panhandle.   

It was never more apparent than at this year's Ryder Cup when he blithered on and on in defense of Team U.S.A.'s unity despite damning evidence to the contrary. Not the least of which was the fact that we were all literally watching them get their asses kicked in real-time while they acted like a bunch of petulant prima donnas who were forced to play together for no money. In hindsight, the whole thing was such a complete debacle that it's perfect that  Azinger's voice will forever be associated with it.

Of course they'll probably manage to replace him with someone worse despite the English and Irish countrysides being littered with charismatic characters who know the game. Shit go on a pub tour and hold open auditions. Or give the job to Brad Faxon. At least his Kermit the Frog voice is authentic.    

TWEET OF THE (LAST SIX) WEEK(S)

I would be ok if every time Paul Azinger spoke, it was replaced by the sound of a dying crow. #RyderCup2023

— Ronny Elliott (@FantasyGolfRep) September 30, 2023

GOLF ANALYSIS 

Nothing like a 19 man field to ease you back into the game and I have to admit that I am jonesing to watch some golf this week. We'll go with a seven man rotation because ten would be ridiculous under the circumstances. Equally ridiculous would be not including two-time defending champion Viktor Hovland. 

I'm not really feeling any of the other favorites (says the guy who's been checked-out for two months) so we're going heavy on mid-range players including this year's winner, Justin Thomas. Considering that the theme of this week's post has been motivation or something like that, we'll go with the most motivated guy in the field. 

One and Done Pick: Justin Thomas

The JT Redemption Tour
rolls on this week.

Other Guy I'd Pick: Viktor Hovland

Sleeper Pick: Keegan Bradley

DraftKings Top Seven Values

Viktor Hovland	$10,800
Cameron Young	$8,700
Justin Thomas	$8,400
Rickie Fowler	$8,000
Justin Rose	$6,900
Keegan Bradley	$6,800
Lucas Glover	$6,000

This week we honor the passing of a truly funny and troubled man. Even if you tried to convince yourself that you hated Friends, Matthew Perry would always make you laugh if you gave him the chance. Hank Azaria delivers a fuller and more eloquent eulogy here.

                                  THE MATTHEW PERRY MEMORIAL

                                HISTORICAL PERFORMANCE CHART

Despite the limited field, there's some good information down there including the reasons for my faith in Rickie Fowler and Justin Rose.

	DK Price	2022	2021	2019	2018	2017
Viktor Hovland	$10,800	1st	1st	DNP	DNP	DNP
Scottie Scheffler	$10,700	2nd	2nd	DNP	DNP	DNP
Max Homa	$10,100	17th	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Collin Morikawa	$10,000	6th	T5	DNP	DNP	DNP
Matthew Fitzpatrick	$9,200	T13	T12	DNP	DNP	DNP
Cameron Young	$8,700	3rd	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Justin Thomas	$8,400	5th	T5	T5	T12	11th
Rickie Fowler	$8,000	DNP	DNP	9th	T5	1st
Tony Finau	$7,600	7th	T7	T10	2nd	DNP
Jordan Spieth	$7,400	15th	20th	16th	DNP	T3
Wyndham Clark	$7,300	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Sam Burns	$7,100	12th	T3	DNP	DNP	DNP
Justin Rose	$6,900	DNP	T9	T5	3rd	T5
Keegan Bradley	$6,800	DNP	DNP	DNP	15th	DNP
Sepp Straka	$6,700	T10	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Will Zalatoris	$6,600	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Jason Day	$6,500	DNP	DNP	DNP	16th	DNP
Brian Harman	$6,400	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Tiger Woods	$6,100	DNP	DNP	4th	17th	T9
Lucas Glover	$6,000	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP

Email the Fantasy Golf Report here.

Fantasy Golf: The ZOZO Championship Preview

The boys in red, white and blue weren't the only ones who took a shellacking at the Ryder Cup as the FGR produced some of the wrongest predictions this side of Wrongtown. We coped by taking a few weeks off from prognosticating and going on a three day bender in Hilton Head, S.C. which included a front nine at Harbortown that was an homage to the Scottie Scheffler/Brooks Koepka alternate shot fiasco. Now we're back and ready to reestablish our winning ways. Or something.   

TWEET OF THE WEEK

I was riding high with Joel on this one . . . until Max went full Loudon Swain on him. 

GOLF ANALYSIS

I'm a sucker for a guy with a chip on his shoulder and Keegan Bradley should be carrying one as big as a toaster after being snubbed from the Ryder Cup team and then watching the listless Americans get obliterated. He's also the defending champ here so there's that.

Not a lot of science behind the other picks from whom I'm actually getting good vibes. Something about having five guys with repeating letters in their names feels a bit magical. Yes, this is what passes for "analysis" in October. 

One and Done Pick: Keegan Bradley

I mean it's not quite waving your
hat at the crowd like a bitch but
we probably could've used at
least some of this passion.

Other Guy I'd Pick: Sahith Theegala

Sleeper Pick: Hayden Buckley

DraftKings Top Ten Values

Sungjae Im	$10,200
Keegan Bradley	$9,200
Sahith Theegala	$9,000
Nicolai Hojgaard	$8,700
Vincent Norrman	$8,400
Adam Schenk	$8,000
Tom Hoge	$7,800
Taylor Moore	$7,500
Cameron Champ	$7,100
Hayden Buckley	$6,900

We've got a limited chart this week due to a limited field, a limited history and a limited writer. Fitting that it honors a man of few words who spoke them so eloquently.

                                   THE IVOR ROBSON MEMORIAL

                             HISTORICAL PERFORMANCE CHART

You may notice that there are three American Ryder Cup team members in the field and I picked none of them. There are no coincidences . 

	DK PRICE	2022	2021	2019
Xander Schauffele	$11,100	T9	T28	T10
Collin Morikawa	$10,800	T45	T7	T22
Sungjae Im	$10,200	T29	DNP	T3
Rickie Fowler	$10,000	T2	T44	DNP
Hideki Matsuyama	$9,800	T40	1st	2nd
Cameron Davis	$9,500	T29	DNP	DNP
Adam Scott	$9,300	DNP	DNP	T33
Keegan Bradley	$9,200	1st	T7	T13
Min Woo Lee	$9,100	DNP	DNP	DNP
Sahith Theegala	$9,000	T5	DNP	DNP
Eric Cole	$8,900	DNP	DNP	DNP
Thomas Detry	$8,800	DNP	DNP	DNP
Nicolai Hojgaard	$8,700	DNP	DNP	DNP
Emiliano Grillo	$8,600	4th	73rd	T30
Beau Hossler	$8,500	T16	DNP	DNP
Vincent Norrman	$8,400	DNP	DNP	DNP
Keith Mitchell	$8,300	DNP	DNP	T27
Adam Svensson	$8,200	T59	DNP	DNP
Alex Noren	$8,100	DNP	T18	DNP
Aaron Rai	$8,000	T36	DNP	DNP
Adam Schenk	$8,000	T16	T28	T22
J.J. Spaun	$7,900	T25	DNP	DNP
Justin Suh	$7,900	DNP	DNP	DNP
Garrick Higgo	$7,800	DNP	T75	DNP
Tom Hoge	$7,800	T9	17th	DNP
Ben Griffin	$7,700	DNP	DNP	DNP
Matt Wallace	$7,700	T64	T4	DNP
Mark Hubbard	$7,600	66th	DNP	DNP
Michael Kim	$7,500	DNP	DNP	DNP
Nick Hardy	$7,500	DNP	DNP	DNP
Taylor Moore	$7,500	T12	DNP	DNP
Akshay Bhatia	$7,400	DNP	DNP	DNP
Kurt Kitayama	$7,400	T29	DNP	DNP
S.E. Kim	$7,400	DNP	DNP	DNP
Nick Taylor	$7,300	DNP	DNP	DNP
Joel Dahmen	$7,200	T16	DNP	76th
Cameron Champ	$7,100	8th	DNP	DNP
Taylor Montgomery	$7,100	DNP	DNP	DNP
Dylan Wu	$7,000	DNP	DNP	DNP
Sam Ryder	$7,000	T36	T7	DNP
Hayden Buckley	$6,900	T5	DNP	DNP
K.H. Lee	$6,900	T59	T18	DNP
Brandon Wu	$6,900	T29	DNP	DNP
Davis Riley	$6,800	T67	DNP	DNP
Matthew NeSmith	$6,800	T9	T48	DNP
Mackenzie Hughes	$6,700	T23	T4	DNP

Email the Fantasy Golf Report here.