Long before drunken golf bros brought their unique brand of buffoonery to PGA tournaments, a young 28 year old aspiring fantasy golf writer and three of his friends could stumble into some all access corporate tent badges and work-up a dignified pickle without making complete asses of themselves. Just some civilized consumption and polite applause. At least that's how I remember it.
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| I recently unearthed it and may start wearing it to bars to see if it still works. |
This inevitably led to inebriation and, adjusted for age, it may have been the drunkest I've ever been on a golf course. A bold statement indeed but I vaguely remember seeing any actual golf other than Greg Norman and Larry Nelson hitting a couple of tee shots. I do remember that we found ourselves on the clubhouse veranda after the tournament drinking at the table a couple over from that year's winner Steve Elkington and then chatting with a young golf channel reporter named Scott Van Pelt. Not sure whatever happened to that guy.
At some point either the drinks stopped being free or we were asked to leave and we realized that we were a half mile from our transportation which, in our current condition, seemed like an unwalkable distance so we tried to avail ourselves of a golf cart. I mean we had the green badges. After fumbling with the key for what was probably a few minutes, we were approached by a security guard who essentially just said "nope" so we humped it out of there and headed to South Beach. Oh to be 28 and invincible.
GOLF ANALYSIS
Brandt Snedeker's caddie once affectionately referred to Doral's Blue Monster as "Dump International" after calling it the worst golf course he had ever caddied on. You get the feeling that others think similarly which makes the venue choice seem curious but I guess it behooves one to appease the mad king now and then.
The course has gotten a makeover and, whatever its faults, it did produce solid champions the last time it was a regular host in Adam Scott, Dustin Johnson, Patrick Reed, Tiger Woods and Justin Rose. Bubba Watson was a runner-up in three of those so clearly striking the ball is more rewarded than putting the ball.
Our lineup below has been chosen accordingly with the likes of Cameron Young, Chris Gotterup, Hideki Matsuyama and Gary Woodland being ideal fits. We will add our customary disclaimer that Scottie Scheffler is going to win or finish second but, if you're in search of an alternative, that's where we'd look.
And that's it for the golf analysis as the rest of this week's preview will be devoted to a plea for the golf god's to forgive us for whatever sin we've committed that has resulted in 2026 to date. Maybe it was entering the year with a feeling of optimism. Or maybe it was the time I ran a draft of the FGR through AI just to see what it would do. (I swear I didn't take any of its recommendations!!!) Whatever it was, we're sorry. Please make it stop.
One and Done Pick: Hideki Matsuyama
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| Hideki clearly unable to hide his excitement about being the pick. |
Other Guy I'd Pick: Cameron Young
Sleeper Pick: Jordan Smith
DraftKings Top Ten Values
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Scottie Scheffler |
$13,600 |
|
Cameron Young |
$10,200 |
|
Chris Gotterup |
$9,300 |
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Hideki Matsuyama |
$9,000 |
|
Justin Rose |
$8,700 |
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Jacob Bridgeman |
$8,300 |
|
Sepp Straka |
$7,900 |
|
Gary Woodland |
$7,400 |
|
Jordan Smith |
$6,800 |
|
Bud Cauley |
$6,600 |
Email the Fantasy Golf Report here.
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