Last week I played golf with my 19 year old son and two of his friends and it's probably the closest I've come to getting my ass kicked during a mugging in a dark alley (not really but for the sake of this story we'll go with it). Because I believe these are still the confidence building years and I interpreted the basketball scene from The Great Santini as more of a "how not to parent" guide, I let my son play as an 18 handicap. This despite the fact that he spends more time at the range than Vijay Singh in his prime and hits it about as far . . . when he hits it.
One of the other sandbaggers also got the gift of 18 shots but it was the kid who claimed to be a 14 who was the menace. Look, we all know that the 12-16 handicaps can be the most diabolical because they have an uncanny knack of shooting 78's several times a year which is fine except the odds of it are something like 6,000 to 1. While he didn't shoot 78, he did have about 9 pars and a birdie and, under the ridiculous format I agreed to, that was plenty.
Being ever the entitled private school opportunists, the boys proposed that the three of them play me and my usually reliable 6 handicap three against one straight-up. When I started bogey-bogey-bogey-bogey, it was over faster than Tyson-Spinks and twice as ugly. In related news, I've officially hit that tipping point of the season where hitting a golf ball no longer fascinates me. It got so bad that I traded putters with my son and now mine is in a Memphis dorm room. Frankly, we're both looking forward to the time apart.
TWEET OF THE WEEK
If you asked me to depict my sense of humor in cartoon form . . .
GOLF ANALYSIS
Let the stupid commence. I mean seriously, are we still doing this shit? Maybe the blessed end to this playoff format will rise from the shit pile of the PGA/LIV mash-up but until then, we'll keep trying to gamble on it.
I usually save Xander Schauffele for this week and the reasons are fairly obvious as the 2017 champion has finished top 5 here the last four years and never worse than a T7. It sucks that he's starting seven shots back but my other options are Lucas Glover and Wyndham Clark so this ain't rocket surgery.
From a 6-player pick standpoint, the fundamental question is whether anyone can catch Scottie Scheffler and I think the answer is "yes." Last year twelve players would've beaten him without the handicap including Tom Hoge and J.T. Poston. I know that's a big "would've" but I have to believe that someone from the chasing posse of Viktor Hovland, Rory McIlroy, Jon Rahm, Patrick Cantlay and Max Homa are going to make a move on him. My money is literally on McIlroy and Cantlay.
From there we just try to identify the best values in light of the starting positions. Guys like Collin Morikawa and Tyrrell Hatton seem obvious while Russell Henley has been on an underrated heater that has made him a dark horse Ryder Cup pick. At least we have that to look forward to after this dog and pony show.
One and Done Pick: Xander Schauffele
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Welcome to the new and improved FGR buddy. Enjoy all the winning. |
Other Guy I'd Pick: Rory McIlroy
Sleeper Pick: Tyrrell Hatton
DraftKings Top Ten Values
Rory McIlroy
|
$13,000
|
Patrick Cantlay
|
$10,800
|
Xander Schauffele
|
$10,500
|
Rickie Fowler
|
$9,000
|
Sungjae Im
|
$8,500
|
Russell Henley
|
$8,300
|
Collin Morikawa
|
$7,700
|
Tyrrell Hatton
|
$6,900
|
Sam Burns
|
$6,100
|
Adam Schenk
|
$5,200
|
This week we honor the great Robbie Robertson. I know music documentaries can be a tough sell but, if you want one of the best to throw-on in the background while folding your laundry or shucking corn or whatever the fuck you do, I'd highly recommend The Last Waltz directed by Martin Scorsese. I can assure you that it will move from the background to the foreground pretty quickly.
THE VIRGIL KANE MEMORIAL
HISTORICAL PERFORMANCE CHART
We've got a lot of fresh faces this year and you know someone from that bottom four is going to over-perform. I threw a blind dart and it landed on Adam Schenk. It was either him or Taylor Moore but, at this point, my faith in "Taylors" is still limited to Swift and ham.
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DK Price
|
2022
|
2021
|
2020
|
2019
|
2018
|
Scottie Scheffler
|
$13,400
|
T2
|
T22
|
5th
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Rory McIlroy
|
$13,000
|
1st
|
T14
|
T8
|
1st
|
T7
|
Viktor Hovland
|
$12,500
|
T15
|
T5
|
T20
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Jon Rahm
|
$11,600
|
T15
|
2nd
|
4th
|
T12
|
T11
|
Max Homa
|
$10,900
|
T5
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Patrick Cantlay
|
$10,800
|
T7
|
1st
|
DNP
|
T21
|
T21
|
Xander Schauffele
|
$10,500
|
4th
|
T5
|
T2
|
2nd
|
T7
|
Matt Fitzpatrick
|
$10,000
|
T15
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Lucas Glover
|
$9,700
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
T29
|
DNP
|
Brian Harman
|
$9,500
|
T21
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Wyndham Clark
|
$9,100
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Rickie Fowler
|
$9,000
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
T19
|
T7
|
T. Fleetwood
|
$8,800
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
T16
|
T11
|
Sungjae Im
|
$8,500
|
T2
|
T20
|
T11
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Russell Henley
|
$8,300
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Keegan Bradley
|
$8,100
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
T26
|
Corey Conners
|
$7,900
|
26th
|
T22
|
DNP
|
T26
|
DNP
|
Tom Kim
|
$7,900
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Collin Morikawa
|
$7,700
|
T21
|
T26
|
6th
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Jason Day
|
$7,400
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
18th
|
Si Woo Kim
|
$7,200
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Tyrrell Hatton
|
$6,900
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
7th
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Jordan Spieth
|
$6,700
|
T13
|
T20
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Taylor Moore
|
$6,500
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Sam Burns
|
$6,100
|
24th
|
T18
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Emiliano Grillo
|
$5,700
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Sepp Straka
|
$5,400
|
T7
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Adam Schenk
|
$5,200
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Nick Taylor
|
$5,000
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
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