|Judging by all of the people who found|
their way to the FGR last week unsuccessfully
searching for Billy Horschel's wife/girlfriend,
he's apparently in the market. Anyone know
what Amanda Beard is up to these days?
1. Webb Simpson
2. Bill Haas
3. Rickie Fowler
4. Lucas Glover
5. Sergio Garcia
Last Week's Report Card: B
1. Jason Dufner - T42nd
2. Justin Rose - T15th
3. Billy Horschel - 1st
4. Jimmy Walker - T8th
5. Brendon DeJonge - Cut
As chafed as I was for not making Horschel my pick despite anguishing* over it, I'm glad I went with Dufner to get his sad sack ass out of the way. Just when you thought no one could make playing golf seem less enjoyable, along comes 2013 Dufner who looks like he's working in a diaper recycling plant. It's no coincidence that everyone who picked him in a preseason draft shares the same expression.**
* Sadly, "anguishing" is not an exaggeration. Now every time I see Horschel's winning celebration, I can't keep from muttering a stream of expletives until the FGW asks me what's wrong and I have to say "nothing . . . I'm just a jackass."
** My apologies for the brief effort this week but I've got a trip to a couple of marquee courses on the East Coast of Florida lined-up this weekend and, like Kramer in his brief stint as an executive, I'm just trying to get ahead. Oh yeah, I also finished tied for 40th in the Maryland State Two-Man Championship today. My partner and I shot a 74 that had all of the excitement of watching Jason Dufner eat a bowl of tomato soup. The high round of the day was an 88 shot by two single digit handicaps who made 7 bogeys and 5 doubles. My guess is that at least one of them is known around his home club as "the ATM."