|"I'm smart. Not like everyone|
says. Like dumb. I'm smart.
And I want respect!"*
10. It will be fun and festive to get dressed up and see everyone after missing Christmas Eve last year. The experience of coming together, praying together, singing together and infecting MeeMaw and PeePop with a potentially deadly virus will be good for the soul.
9. You can save as many seats as you would like in any of our video venues for friends and family (any venue except the main floor of the Sanctuary which we expect will be packed to achieve maximum super spreader effect).
8. The Pavilion will offer family-friendly seating for families who choose to keep their little children with them. There will be a play area adjacent to the seating where kids can move around and freely transmit the virus through the seasonal sharing of mucus and drool.
7. The Vision Café, with a huge LED screen, will require masks, offering a more comfortable environment for those concerned about crowds. Please don't refer to them as freaks. Unless you're in the Sanctuary where anything goes but remember, what happens in the Sanctuary . . .
5. Each venue will be beautifully decorated, staffed with host ministers and a venue MC, helping to create engaging and welcoming environments for all viral mutations. Come one come all!
4. There will be live music and entertainment in each video venue as part of our “Prelude” to Christmas Mass. Our musicians also do funerals. Just sayin’.
3. The All-Stars program will be available for little kids (6 weeks to 6 years) and Jingle Jam (Children’s Liturgy of the Word) for school-age kids will take place live on our campus. Your children and grandchildren will absolutely love it! Even if it may be the reason they never see you again.
2. Let’s face it, the State Fairgrounds “Cow Palace” was a video venue and mad cow disease is so yesterday’s news.
1. The number one reason to join us for Christmas Eve is the most obvious one: Holy Communion. You can attend Mass and receive Communion this Christmas. Duh.