Tuesday, June 28, 2022

Fantasy Golf: The John Deere Classic Preview

I know things are a little chaotic right now. Tensions are high. Nerves are frayed. So it's probably not the best time for me to be taking a strong stand on a polarizing issue, especially on a website that's ostensibly devoted to golf but I gotta do something here . . . I still can't believe it . . .  

I'm putting Top Gun: Maverick in the category of nearly flawless movies. Not necessarily among the best movies of all-time (though it might be on that list too) but a movie that knew exactly what it was trying to achieve and then went-out and executed it to near perfection. They knew who their target audience was (me) and delivered exactly what we wanted. 

I don't keep a running list of such films* but I will say that the first one that comes to mind is Whiplash and damn if that mutherfucker Miles Teller didn't star in that one too. I will avoid spoilers but it's obvious from the first five minutes that here he plays Goose's son and nails it right down to the goofy way Anthony Edwards walked, slumped and sat at a piano. I only have intimate knowledge of two other Teller performances, War Dogs (worth your time) and Fantastic Four (fine) but after his performance as Rooster, I'm seeking him out. 

The supporting cast, including Bill Pulman's son Lewis (who you will recognize immediately), understands their mission and they execute it. Glen Powell makes the role of Iceman 2.0 his own and crushes it (no small feat) while Jennifer Connolly takes a one-line reference from the original and runs with it. Not sure about Jon Hamm as the stereotypical doubting Admiral but that may stem from my belief that he was only ever meant to play one role in his life and then meditate into the sunset.

As for Tom Cruise . . . you're either willing to suspend reality and join him for the ride or you're not. I am. And this is unquestionably a top five performance for him. (Sorry we will not be taking questions on that topic). 

Almost half the movie is comprised of flying scenes which is a good thing because they're exhilarating. Even the overhead shots of the AWACS plane were cool, though I think that was about the point where I heard my son whisper under his breath "oh please shut the fuck up."** 

And finally there's the story. I've never written a movie script but I have to believe it's an incredibly tall order to write a sequel where you're trying to (a) pay homage, (b) weave-in common characters, and (c) make it original all while avoiding hokiness. Especially if you're writing the sequel to freakin' Top Gun which reveled in its own hokiness. I'll just say that I'm in awe of how well Ehren Kruger, Eric Warren Singer and Christopher McQuerrie pulled it off and leave it there. Apparently, that's why you spend the extra few bucks to hire the guys who separately wrote a couple little flicks called American Hustle and The Usual Suspects.  

Go see if you haven't and go see it again if you have. 

TWEET OF THE WEEK

It's a fun time in history to acknowledge the anniversary of the original Karate Kid because, if it came out today, many would view it as the story of an angry immigrant teenager who moves to California to steal good painting and car maintenance jobs from hard-working Americans while generally fucking-up the natural order of things.


GOLF ANALYSIS

I think the most interesting thing you can say about this year's John Deere Classic field is that there are four guys named "Adam" in it. Especially when you compare it to the 2017 field which had zero guys named "Adam." I mean that shit is craaaazzzy. 

With no obvious choice and the introduction you just read, do I even have to tell you who I'm picking? I sure hope not. I actually wanted to go with Nick Hardy because he's playing really well AND he intentionally pissed his pants in the woods of my former country club to help save his teammate some embarrassment but alas, I didn't see any movies with the name "Nick" in the title this week.  

The rest of the list is a veritable who's who of grinders and journeymen but that's what gets it done at the John Deere Classic. Remember, this is the tournament that Steve Stricker won three times in a row accounting for 25% of his PGA total. I'm actually optimistic about most of the recommendations except for Lucas Glover who I felt obliged to include as the defending champion. If only his name was "Payback" or "Hangman" Glover, I'd feel way more confident.   

One and Done Pick: Maverick McNealy

I'd go again tonight.
Who's with me?!?!
Other Guy I'd Pick: Nick Hardy

Sleeper Pick: Ryan Moore

DraftKings Top Ten Values

Maverick McNealy

$9,500

Charles Howell, III

$9,300

Nick Hardy

$8,700

Patrick Rodgers

$8,800

Lucas Glover

$8,300

Kevin Streelman

$7,900

Adam Schenk

$7,700

Nick Taylor

$7,500

Ryan Moore

$7,200

Scott Brown

$7,000


One of these days when the news cycle in both the golf world and the real world slows down to about 78 RPM's, I'm going to write more substantively about LIVGolf. Until then, I'll just keep taking cheap shots. 

                                   THE BROOKS KOEPKA'S CREDIBILITY
                           MEMORIAL HISTORICAL PERFORMANCE CHART 

In the last five years, the four highest priced guys of the week have played this tournament a combined total of once. (Once?) Yes. Once. At least we get to watch how Torque GC does against the combined firepower of Smash GC this week in . . . I'm sorry. I just can't. 

 

DK Price

2021

2019

2018

2017

2016

Webb Simpson

$10,600

DNP

DNP

DNP

DNP

DNP

Adam Hadwin

$10,400

DNP

DNP

DNP

DNP

T8

Sahith Theegala

$10,100

DNP

DNP

DNP

DNP

DNP

Jason Day

$10,000

DNP

DNP

DNP

DNP

DNP

Denny McCarthy

$9,900

MC

MC

T34

DNP

DNP

Maverick McNealy

$9,500

T18

DNP

DNP

T44

DNP

Charles Howell, III

$9,300

T23

T6

DNP

T19

DNP

C. Bezuidenhout

$9,100

DNP

DNP

DNP

DNP

DNP

Scott Stallings

$8,900

T55

T18

MC

T5

T16

Patrick Rodgers

$8,800

T23

DNP

T43

2nd

T27

Nick Hardy

$8,700

DNP

DNP

T43

T55

DNP

Adam Long

$8,600

T23

T53

DNP

DNP

DNP

Brendon Todd

$8,500

DNP

T18

MC

MC

MC

Cameron Davis

$8,400

T55

T53

DNP

DNP

DNP

Lucas Glover

$8,300

1st

T10

DNP

T25

DNP

Lanto Griffin

$8,200

DNP

DNP

T60

DNP

DNP

C.T. Pan

$8,100

MC

MC

T34

DNP

DNP

Cameron Champ

$8,000

T11

MC

DNP

DNP

DNP

J.T. Poston

$8,000

MC

MC

T65

T64

DNP

Chez Reavie

$7,900

T18

DNP

MC

T39

DNP

Kevin Streelman

$7,900

MC

DNP

T7

T44

DNP

Anirban Lahiri

$7,800

MC

T47

DNP

DNP

DNP

John Huh

$7,800

T50

DNP

T7

MC

T64

Adam Schenk

$7,700

T4

T6

MC

DNP

DNP

Adam Svensson

$7,700

DNP

T18

DNP

DNP

DNP

Doug Ghim

$7,600

T18

DNP

W/D

DNP

DNP

Dylan Frittelli

$7,600

MC

1st

DNP

DNP

DNP

Emiliano Grillo

$7,500

DNP

DNP

DNP

DNP

DNP

Martin Laird

$7,500

T28

T37

DNP

DNP

DNP

Nick Taylor

$7,500

T28

T33

T34

MC

MC

Mark Hubbard

$7,400

T41

DNP

DNP

MC

MC

Patton Kizzire

$7,400

T11

DNP

T30

T25

DNP

Steve Stricker

$7,400

T41

DNP

T43

T5

T52

Andrew Putnam

$7,300

MC

DNP

79th

DNP

DNP

Hank Lebioda

$7,300

T8

MC

DNP

DNP

DNP

Nate Lashley

$7,200

DNP

T26

DNP

DNP

DNP

Ryan Moore

$7,200

T2

T18

T55

MC

1st

Zach Johnson

$7,200

T34

T37

T16

T5

T34

Charley Hoffman

$7,100

DNP

DNP

DNP

T39

DNP

Chesson Hadley

$7,100

T34

DNP

T72

T25

MC

Ryan Armour

$7,100

MC

MC

DNP

MC

DNP

Scott Piercy

$7,100

T69

DNP

MC

DNP

DNP

Scott Brown

$7,000

T4

MC

T12

T25

T16

Kevin Chappell

$6,900

DNP

DNP

DNP

DNP

DNP

Bill Haas

$6,800

MC

T10

T72

DNP

DNP

Rory Sabbatini

$6,800

MC

DNP

W/D

T19

T62

Vaughn Taylor

$6,800

T34

T6

T34

T19

MC

Brian Stuard

$6,700

T8

MC

81st

MC

DNP

Harry Higgs

$6,700

MC

DNP

DNP

DNP

DNP

Wesley Bryan

$6,700

DNP

DNP

MC

T3

T8

Johnson Wagner

$6,100

MC

T37

T16

MC

T5


Footnotes

"More like 'turn and have
a cocktail' am I right?"
* If I did keep such a list, it would also have to include Wall StreetGrosse Pointe Blank, Up in the AirMoneyball and The Martian. Not surprisingly, all of these feature a big time movie star along with a killer supporting cast. Everyone from John C. McGinley to Jason Bateman to Phillip Seymour Hoffman to the entire ensemble at mission control in The Martian. So damn good. 

** I probably didn't need to lean over and enlighten him that a sailboat is generally at its slowest going downwind with the spinnaker up but it's not my fault that's when they improperly used the "turn and burn" line.  

Email the FGR at fgr@fantasygolfreport.com