Fantasy Golf: The Sony Open Preview

This morning my two sons rolled out of the driveway heading south/southwest (I hope) to continue their freshman and junior years in Memphis and New Orleans having both achieved their goals of attending prestigious schools in the south while ensuring that I work until I'm 87. It was a moment tinged with many emotions ranging from pride to sadness to fear as the car they drove away in is the third in a dramatic trilogy of Volkswagens that featured the first two going the way of Moe Green and Fredo Corleone. Capeesh?

This parenting gig is definitely not for the faint of heart. Yeah the brochure looks great but, like a timeshare pitch, it leaves out a few key details like the lifetime commitment and more hidden costs than a Verizon bill. The fact is you are completely stuck with these people and their crooked teeth, travel soccer fees and constant nagging needs for food, clothing and shelter. Sure it's ultimately the greatest thing you'll ever do but man, there are days when you wish you could've just rented, left the keys under the mat and bailed on the security deposit. 

So now here I sit in full fantasy golf writing mode and you know what that means. A glass of cheap white wine, a box of Cheez-Its and World Series of Poker reruns with the sweet soothing sounds of Lon McEachern and Norman Chad in the background. Hey we don't all run on brandy and Mozart. Oh yeah, it's my birthday.* Let's do this thing. 

TWEET OF THE WEEK

We would like to thank Joel Cohen for providing at least some explanation if not an excuse for the current season of Yellowstone which at one point caused me to roll my eyes so hard that I herniated a retina. 

🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣 pic.twitter.com/vMiSQfDJoX

— 1.66 (Go Bills) (@dogshit95) January 6, 2023

GOLF ANALYSIS

Let's get the self-aggrandizing out of the way early. Yes we picked Jon Rahm to win last week and, despite it looking so bleak that we didn't even check a leaderboard on Sunday until halfway through the final round, the outcome was exactly what we expected based on our exhaustive research and beta tested analytics (I have no idea what that means). 

As you may recall, we declared a commitment to not overthinking it in 2023 which led directly to the Rahm pick (did we mention we picked Jon Rahm?). This week the overwhelming consensus is behind Tom Kim who has two wins since August and more international top tens than I feel like counting. He also finished T5 last week which moved him to 14th in the world making him the highest ranked player in this field, one spot ahead of Jordan Spieth. He might end-up being the most obvious pick of the year.

So why am I mulling Corey Conners instead? Well, there appear to be three main reasons: (1) Tom Kim has never played the Sony Open before whereas Corey has played it four times and once even finished tied for third, (2) this tournament has been known to throw-in some curveball winners (many years ago) even if the last four at Hideki Matsuyama, Kevin Na, Cameron Smith and Matt Kuchar with Justin Thomas winning in 2017, and (3) I'm an idiot.  

[Switching pick from Conners to Kim] Thank you for allowing me to talk that out. Unfortunately, I have now used my allotment of words and only have enough left to tell you that it's a mortal lock that either Chris Kirk, Brandan Steele or Russell Knox finishes top five. And also maybe Ryan Palmer. I hope that helps.

One and Done Pick: Tom Kim

Suffice it to say I had already
chosen this week's picture. 

Other Guy I'd Pick: Corey Conners

Sleeper Pick: Michael Thompson 

DraftKings Top Ten Values

Tom Kim	$10,500
Corey Conners	$9,600
Maverick McNealy	$9,100
K.H. Lee	$8,700
Cameron Davis	$8,500
Matt Kuchar	$7,900
Chris Kirk	$7,400
Brendan Steele	$7,300
Russell Knox	$7,200
Michael Thompson	$6,700

FOOTNOTE

* I spent the latter part of my 21st birthday in a Florida bar and at one point, a complete stranger came over and wished me a happy birthday. When I asked him how he knew it was my birthday, he said, "well, when you walked here, you raised your arms over your head and yelled 'IT'S MY FUCKING BIRTHDAY!'" He then bought me a shot and within 30 minutes I was on stage singing with the band. Within 30 seconds after that, I was told to leave. 

                                THE AARON RODGERS DON'T LET THE DOOR

                                   HIT YA WHERE THE GOOD LORD SPLIT YA

                                       HISTORICAL PERFORMANCE CHART

With this week's historical performance chart we honor an athlete who has possibly forfeited more goodwill on unforced errors than any in history. It's been so long that many have forgotten how much we all used to root for Aaron Rodgers after he got snubbed at the draft only to then have to ride the pine behind the insufferable Brett Favre. Nice job Aaron. Maybe you and Brett can get together to watch some volleyball and speculate as to why everyone hates you. 

It's a very quirky chart with no top tens in the last five years from the top two but a bevy of high finishes from the middle of the pack including Webb Simpson who would've cost you five digits in each of the last three years. Not sure what's going on with James Frederick Webb but he hasn't had a top ten since the RSM Classic . . . in 2021. I may have a theory. Feels like the opening to next week's preview. 

	DK Price	2022	2021	2020	2019	2018
Tom Kim	$10,500	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Sungjae Im	$10,300	MC	T56	T21	T16	DNP
Hideki Matsuyama	$10,100	1st	T19	T12	T51	DNP
Jordan Spieth	$10,000	DNP	DNP	DNP	MC	T18
Tom Hoge	$9,900	MC	MC	T12	MC	3rd
Russell Henley	$9,800	2nd	T11	MC	66th	MC
Brian Harman	$9,700	T48	T56	T32	MC	T4
Corey Conners	$9,600	11th	DNP	T12	T3	T39
Billy Horschel	$9,500	T36	T7	DNP	DNP	DNP
Keegan Bradley	$9,300	T12	MC	T12	T29	T39
Maverick McNealy	$9,100	T27	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Taylor Montgomery	$9,000	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
K.H. Lee	$8,700	T48	T19	MC	MC	DNP
Adam Scott	$8,600	DNP	T41	DNP	MC	DNP
Cameron Davis	$8,500	T27	31st	T9	MC	DNP
J.J. Spaun	$8,400	MC	MC	MC	DNP	T47
Keith Mitchell	$8,300	T7	T14	MC	T16	T25
Si Woo Kim	$8,200	T55	T25	DNP	MC	T58
C. Bezuidenhout	$8,100	T17	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Emiliano Grillo	$8,000	MC	T47	T21	T22	T47
Denny McCarthy	$7,900	T48	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Matt Kuchar	$7,900	T7	MC	MC	1st	DNP
Alex Smalley	$7,800	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Harris English	$7,800	T55	T32	DNP	T22	64th
J.T. Poston	$7,700	T42	MC	MC	T20	DNP
Kurt Kitayama	$7,700	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Gary Woodland	$7,600	DNP	DNP	DNP	MDF	T7
Harris Buckley	$7,600	T12	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Will Gordon	$7,600	DNP	MC	MC	DNP	DNP
Adam Svensson	$7,500	T7	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Mackenzie Hughes	$7,500	DNP	T19	MC	MDF	MC
Nick Hardy	$7,500	DNP	T14	DNP	DNP	DNP
Aaron Rai	$7,400	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Brendon Todd	$7,400	T48	T41	T21	DNP	DNP
Chris Kirk	$7,400	T27	T2	MC	MC	T10
Webb Simpson	$7,400	T61	T4	3rd	DNP	T4
Ben Griffin	$7,300	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Brendan Steele	$7,300	MC	T4	2nd	DNP	DNP
Greyson Sigg	$7,300	T42	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Patton Kizzire	$7,300	T42	T7	MC	T13	1st
James Hahn	$7,200	DNP	T41	MC	MC	2nd
Justin Suh	$7,200	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Russell Knox	$7,200	T7	MC	T32	T43	T10
Stephan Jaeger	$7,200	MC	DNP	DNP	T43	T54
Troy Merritt	$7,200	DNP	T56	MC	MC	MC
David Lipsky	$7,100	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Davis Thompson	$7,100	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Kevin Streelman	$7,100	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Mark Hubbard	$7,100	MC	T32	MC	DNP	DNP
Ryan Palmer	$7,100	T12	T41	T4	DNP	T58
Brandon Wu	$7,000	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Chez Reavie	$7,000	DNP	T67	MC	T3	T18
Lucas Glover	$7,000	T5	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Adam Long	$6,900	MC	DNP	MC	MC	DNP
Josh Bramlett	$6,900	T20	DNP	T45	DNP	DNP
Ryan Armour	$6,900	T20	T32	MC	T22	T39
Stewart Cink	$6,900	T36	T19	DNP	T20	T32
Adam Schenk	$6,800	MC	MC	MC	MC	DNP
Scott Piercy	$6,800	DNP	MC	T45	T33	T25
Michael Thompson	$6,700	T5	T25	T38	T69	MC
Nick Taylor	$6,700	MC	T11	T32	MC	DNP
Zach Johnson	$6,600	MC	T62	T28	MC	T14
Harry Higgs	$6,400	MC	T32	T57	DNP	DNP
Nate Lashley	$6,400	MC	MC	T53	DNP	DNP

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