The FGR Conference Championship Game Picks

I have intentionally held-off on posting these picks as a public service following last week's complete debacle that yielded an 0-4 record. To paraphrase one of the great monologue's in film history, "Mr. Elliott, what you just wrote is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever read. At no point in your rambling, incoherent analysis were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone is now poorer for having read it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."

The issue appears to have been that I thought the 49ers were who the Ravens actually are, the Bucs were who the Lions actually are but not that the Bills actually were who they are. (Fun with tenses). So armed with that information this week, let's take a shot at some redemption picks. But first . . . 

TWEET OF THE WEEK

Jason Kelce sounds like he'd be a more than worthy member-guest partner. 

Relevant to this game: Jason Kelce once told me he had north of 20 beers before his speech at the Eagles Super Bowl parade.

I then asked him to rate his drunkeness on a scale of 1 to 10 that day. And he said 5.

— Sheil Kapadia (@SheilKapadia) January 22, 2024

OK . . . here goes something.

Baltimore by 4 over Kansas City: The Pick - Ravens 

I've always been skeptical of my favorite team (why should they get special treatment?). This once led to me drawing the ire of an angry country club codger on a neighboring tee box when I announced that I would give the Ravens receiving corps for the upcoming season a "D" at best. He was clearly more enthusiastic about the prospects of Torrey Smith, Marlon Brown and the decaying carcass of Dallas Clark than I was and he let it be known as his group walked by ours with a mini-rant that began with the now immortal words, "I don't know what your name is sir . . ." 

Apparently he couldn't let it go (which I completely respect) as he then proceeded to accost a different and very confused bald guy at the post-round cocktail party. Sometimes collateral damage just cannot be avoided. 

This Ravens team, however, seems unaffected by skepticism, pessimism and any other ism's for that matter. After spending the first half last week shaking-off the rust from an extended layoff, they absolutely dismantled a very good Houston Texans team. We could delve into all sorts of statistics but all you really need to know is that each team had the ball four times in the second half and it went like this:

Ravens	Texans
Touchdown	Punt
Touchdown	Punt
Touchdown	Turnover on Downs
Field Goal	End of Game

Is that going to happen against the Chiefs? Of course not but if the Ravens play at even 78% of that second half level for 82% of the game, they should cover 64% of the time. Feel free to check the math but I'll save you some time by telling you I made it up.   

San Francisco by 7.5 over Detroit: The Pick - Lions 

I mean people always put
red and purple together . . .

Everyone couldn't wait to get back on the Brock Purdy love train after he led the Niners to a late fourth quarter comeback win but can we take a minute to understand how they found themselves in that predicament? What was once thought to be the most complete team in football racked-up a paltry 356 yards, gave 83 yards of that back in penalties, lost the time of possession battle and had to eek out the win at home against a team that barely made the playoffs. Pffft. 

I mean we all know that a Ravens-49ers Super Bowl has been preordained by the league as evidenced by the colors of this year's logo but that doesn't mean you have to give 7.5 points to a Dan Campbell coached team that has backed-up his promise to bite a kneecap off if and when necessary. Frankly I find that a bit terrifying but also impossible not to love. 

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