Fantasy Golf: WM Phoenix Open Preview

The Sunday washout at Pebble Beach provided myself and other golf fans the "opportunity" to catch-up on what LIVGolf has been doing to make their product more appealing and by "more appealing," I mean remotely watchable. When I tuned-in on whatever hole they were playing, the leaderboard featured Jon Rahm, Dustin Johnson, Sergio Garcia and Joaquin Niemann so that's three green jackets to go along with one of the best young players in the game. I committed to giving it as much of an unbiased look as I could muster. Here's how that went:

• The first cringe came (as it always does) at the sound of lead announcer Arlo White's voice and the inherent propaganda that fuels his enthusiasm. For those of a certain age, it calls to mind the German soccer announcer in Victory or the Russian boxing announcer at the end of Rocky IV (before Rocky wins him over along with the crowd, the politburo and the ghost of Joseph Stalin). I took several deep breaths and resolved to stay with it.

• Everything about the visual experience bothered me from the ever present Times Square style leaderboard to the players wearing shorts. Maybe regular viewers get used to seeing Dustin Johnson's legs but for me it's like your dad who used to be on a first name basis with everyone who worked at Brooks Brothers deciding that he's going to start wearing "cool" shirts instead of button downs. Just stop dad. Please. For your grandchildren. 

• The CW commercials seem a bit out of place. One minute you're watching a sheepish Tyrrell Hatton putt out for par, and the next you're watching a commercial for Divorce Court. They actually make you wish your were watching Matthew McConaughey do anything . . . shooting pool, driving a Buick, clipping his toenails . . . anything. And yet I soldiered on . . . 

• Until Arlo finally just couldn't contain his inferiority complex any longer and gleefully proclaimed that LIV was the only live golf available due to the weather in California and "THE WEATHER HERE IS PERFECT!" Holy shit dude get out now before the last of what's left of your dignity dries-up in the desert. 

I think I lasted half an hour but it felt like days.  

TWEET OF THE WEEK

Anyone who has had the joy of waking a sleeping daughter has felt the special kind of love that David Simon describes here. In a related story, the other day my 16 year old asked me why I parked where I did and I responded to her that "I have no idea why I do anything the way I do it anymore." It was probably the closest we had been to understanding each other since she was 7. 

Woke my daughter moments ago as it became apparent she had failed to set her alarm and was in danger of missing the school bus. She urged me to shut up and die painfully and alone, then pulled the covers over her head, so six more weeks of winter.

— David Simon (@AoDespair) February 2, 2024

GOLF ANALYSIS

It's pretty chalky this week as TPC Scottsdale probably ranks top five on the list of courses that give us predictable outcomes by providing a venue where good players excel and certain lesser players thrive in its unique environment. The success of guys at the top of the chart below is a testament to that and that doesn't even include the likes of Jon Rahm, Brooks Koepka and Bubba Watson who all used to be fixtures at the top of this leaderboard. Also, I played one of the best rounds of my life there (oh for fuck's sake).

Two-time defending champion Scottie Scheffler is such an obvious pick that you don't need me to explain why and eventually we're going to find a week where I stop ignoring him just for the sake of being an annoying contrarian. Don't hold your breath on that before April.

So then the pick comes down to Justin Thomas or Xander Schauffele and the latter simplified that decision by withdrawing so Thomas it is. I continue to cling to my belief that he has it in him to be the best player in the world. JT and I do not have the most productive history together but I think this is our year. 

There is a list of about 7-8 players who have relatively recent dominant runs on this course. Hideki Matsuyama and Rickie Fowler are both on it as they were pretty much the co-mayors of Scottsdale from 2014-2019. When you have history like that with a course, you just need to show-up playing "well enough" and they both are . . . barely . . . especially in Rickie's case. 

Among the top candidates for the new mayor, Sam Burns and Sahith Theegala are both running strong campaigns and neither of them has set fire to library books with a flamethrower yet (soon to be known as a "Missouri Barbecue") so we like them.  

Here are a few more observations with accompanying wagers you may want to consider:

• Billy Horschel has made nine straight cuts here including two top tens in the last four years (+900 - Top 10).

• Mark Hubbard has improved his finish in each of his last four events and was T4 at Pebble. Also, he seems like a good dude and his Twitter handle is @HomelessHubbs so we root for him (+275 - Top 20).

• Sam Ryder has improved his finish here each of the last five years and was T20 last year (+450 - Top 20). Also, he made a hole in one on 16 just like Tiger Woods did (yeah it was just like that. 

Enjoy your LIV free weekend.

One and Done Pick: Justin Thomas

He appears to feel slightly
less optimistic than I do.

Other Guy I'd Pick: Sahith Theegala

Sleeper Pick: Sam Ryder

DraftKings Top Ten Values

Justin Thomas	$10,000
Sam Burns	$9,600
Sahith Theegala	$9,100
Byeong Hun An	$8,800
Hideki Matsuyama	$8,400
Rickie Fowler	$8,200
Adam Hadwin	$8,000
Mark Hubbard	$7,400
Billy Horschel	$7,100
Sam Ryder	$6,900

Most knew him as Apollo Creed or maybe (god help us) Chubbs Peterson but for me, Carl Weathers will always be the soldier that Force 10 didn't even know they needed to complete their mission.   

                                     THE SERGEANT OLEN WEAVER

                                  MEMORIAL PERFORMANCE CHART

Not featured this week but also worth your consideration are Jordan Spieth, Sungjae Im, Keith Mitchell and the show Loudermilk. Ron Livingston as a bitter snarky recovering alcoholic former rock music critic belongs in the role casting hall of fame.

	DK Price	2023	2022	2021	2020	2019
Scottie Scheffler	$11,600	1st	1st	T7	MC	DNP
Xander Schauffele (Out)	$10,400	T10	T3	T2	T16	T10
Justin Thomas	$10,000	4th	T6	T13	T3	3rd
Max Homa	$9,800	T39	T14	T42	T6	T26
Sam Burns	$9,600	T6	MC	T22	MC	MC
Jordan Spieth	$9,500	T6	T60	T4	MC	DNP
Matt Fitzpatrick	$9,400	T29	T10	DNP	DNP	DNP
Sungjae Im	$9,300	T6	DNP	T17	T34	T7
Cameron Young	$9,200	64th	T26	DNP	DNP	DNP
Sahith Theegala	$9,100	T39	T3	DNP	DNP	DNP
Wyndham Clark	$9,000	T10	MC	T36	T34	DNP
J.T. Poston	$8,900	MC	T23	T11	T37	T26
Byeong Hun An	$8,800	DNP	DNP	T53	T9	T20
Min Woo Lee	$8,700	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Tom Kim	$8,600	T50	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Eric Cole	$8,500	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Hideki Matsuyama	$8,400	T29	T6	T42	T16	T15
Adam Scott	$8,300	DNP	T38	DNP	DNP	DNP
Rickie Fowler	$8,200	T10	MC	MC	T37	1st
Corey Conners	$8,100	T50	T38	T17	T45	DNP
Adam Hadwin	$8,000	T10	T26	T50	T40	T44
Beau Hossler	$8,000	T14	MC	MC	66th	T39
Si Woo Kim	$7,900	T23	T26	T50	MC	MC
Alex Noren	$7,900	MC	T6	DNP	DNP	T44
Brian Harman	$7,800	T42	T14	T36	T49	T39
Akshay Bhatia	$7,800	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Shane Lowry	$7,700	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Daniel Berger	$7,700	DNP	MC	MC	T9	MC
Denny McCarthy	$7,600	MC	MC	MC	T59	T33
Andrew Putnam	$7,600	MC	MC	T7	MC	MC
Thomas Detry	$7,600	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Keith Mitchell	$7,500	T42	T10	MC	T16	73rd
Harris English	$7,500	MC	DNP	MC	T16	MC
Emiliano Grillo	$7,500	MC	MC	T22	MC	T33
Taylor Montgomery	$7,400	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
C. Bezuidenhout	$7,400	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Mark Hubbard	$7,400	MC	DNP	T30	T9	DNP
Tom Hoge	$7,300	MC	T14	MC	T25	T44
Brendon Todd	$7,300	MC	T26	T22	DNP	DNP
Taylor Moore	$7,300	T14	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Patrick Rodgers	$7,300	T14	MC	MC	T16	MC
Kevin Yu	$7,300	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Kurt Kitayama	$7,200	T23	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Nick Taylor	$7,200	2nd	MC	MC	T49	MC
Lucas Glover	$7,200	T39	37th	DNP	DNP	MC
Adam Schenk	$7,200	T23	MC	MC	MC	T55
Ryan Fox	$7,200	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Billy Horschel	$7,100	T32	T6	T53	T9	T39
Luke List	$7,100	MC	T53	T30	T25	MC
Aaron Rai	$7,100	T42	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Erik Van Rooyan	$7,100	T50	DNP	MC	DNP	DNP
Michael Kim	$7,100	DNP	DNP	T58	DNP	MC
Gary Woodland	$7,000	T42	MC	MC	T40	T7
Matt Kuchar	$7,000	T32	MC	T42	T16	T4
Adam Svensson	$7,000	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
K.H. Lee	$6,900	T42	T38	T2	MC	DNP
Davis Thompson	$6,900	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Sam Ryder	$6,900	T20	T23	57th	T55	T60
Nate Lashley	$6,900	T61	MC	T17	T3	DNP
Doug Ghim	$6,800	MC	T49	DNP	DNP	DNP
Seamus Power	$6,700	T20	MC	DNP	DNP	MC
J.J. Spaun	$6,700	MC	DNP	DNP	T47	T50
Scott Stallings	$6,700	T23	T21	T36	DNP	MC
Cameron Champ	$6,600	MC	DNP	MC	DNP	T67
Grayson Murray	$6,600	MC	DNP	T42	T55	59th
Justin Suh	$6,600	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Maverick McNealy	$6,500	W/D	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Charley Hoffman	$6,500	T14	67th	MC	T40	T20
Jhonattan Vegas	$6,500	T23	DNP	DNP	DNP	T10
Garrick Higgo	$6,400	MC	T21	DNP	DNP	DNP
Matthew NeSmith	$6,400	MC	MC	T7	DNP	DNP
Joel Dahmen	$6,300	T50	T62	MC	W/D	MC
Stewart Cink	$6,300	65th	T43	T58	DNP	T50
Martin Laird	$6,200	MC	T14	MC	T55	T26

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