Fantasy Golf: The Genesis Invitational Preview

So apparently the sporting event where they let a couple hundred thousand people in at 6:00 a.m. on general admission tickets and immediately start pumping them full of shitty beer (that I drink as a matter of preference) got a little out of hand last week to the point where guys like Billy Horschel and Zack Johnson got their panties in a bunch. Basically it's a four day long Preakness infield situation, only the race horses wear Ralph Lauren and Peter Millar, speak English and they're more high strung.

Of course I should probably shut the fuck up as I'm the guy who once was getting ready to hit a 5 foot putt on the last hole of a member-member match when two drunk friends of the guys we were playing meandered onto the green to socialize which prompted me to stop, turn around and politely ask them to "GET . . . THE . . . FUCK . . . OFF . . . THE . . . GREEN." I later apologized to one of them in my lifelong quest to live out what I think is the plot of My Name is Earl. 

In an apparent effort to avoid total chaos in Scottsdale, they cut-off alcohol sales on Saturday at roughly 5:00 p.m. local time which is like scolding your dog after he eats the steak you left on the coffee table. If I wasn't 100% sure that the tournament directors were acting in the interest of public safety and preserving the integrity of the game, I might suspect that they were about to run out of beer at 5:15 p.m. 

Anyway, the fact that no one died (as far as we know) and the two loudest complaints came from twits like Z.J. and Horschel means that they're definitely going to run it back just as hard next year with some minor adjustments like maybe trying to replicate a second version of the 16th hole on the front nine so it's earlier in the round and away from the cameras. Then they can funnel the coach class booze bags into an all you can drink beer garden with some shitty bro country cover band. You're welcome. 

TWEET OF THE WEEK

There's no way I'm giving-up my emergency beer under these circumstances. And you're a shitty friend if you even suggest that I split it. Plan better. 

When they cut off alcohol sales at the WM but your friend hands you a warm Ultra tall boy he’s been carrying around in the kangaroo pocket of his hoodie. pic.twitter.com/OuVppqnGiG

— Kevin Van Valkenburg (@KVanValkenburg) February 11, 2024

GOLF ANALYSIS

Last week I tried to justify including Rickie Fowler in my top ten because of his stellar history at TPC Scottsdale while glossing over the fact that he's recently been playing like shit. He promptly missed the cut which cost me (a) money and (b) credibility, both of which I can't afford to lose at the moment because of (a) tuition and (b) a general lack thereof. 

My initial analysis of this week's event started wandering down the same misguided path as I immediately locked-in on Max Homa and Viktor Hovland based on their success at Riviera and the fact that I am a gushing fan of both. However, like Rickie, Max and Viktor haven't exactly been lighting it up with a combined zero top tens in 2024. So they're out.

Instead we welcome Collin Morikawa and Cameron Young as this week's picks while still offering slighter nods to Viktor Hovland and Max Homa who should both have big seasons including a major for at least one of them. The same could be said of Justin Thomas who just broke a string for five straight top six finishes with his T12 in Phoenix. Now that I've wasted my pick on him, he should get back on track.

Will Zalatoris appears to be almost back after a T13 at the Farmers which included a pair of 68's. He finished 4th here last year to go along with a T15 and T26 in his other two visits. Throw him in with Jason Day and Hideki Matsuyama for the kind of nice little mercurial gambling trio that top ten parlays are made of.    

And finally, there was a brief nostalgic moment where I considered Tiger for the sleeper role but his T45 here last year is also the last time he played four rounds in a full field event. Instead I'm going with Patrick Rodgers who had five straight finishes between T12 and T30 from 2017 through 2021. Yes I just picked Patrick Rodgers to finish ahead of Tiger Woods in a golf tournament and now I need a decontamination shower.     

One and Done Pick: Collin Morikawa

Collin and I both feel pretty good about
this pick. Proceed with extreme caution.

Other Guy I'd Pick: Cameron Young 

Sleeper Pick: Patrick Rodgers 

DraftKings Top Ten Values

Viktor Hovland	$10,000
Max Homa	$9,800
Collin Morikawa	$9,500
Justin Thomas	$9,100
Cameron Young	$8,500
Jason Day	$8,000
Will Zalatoris	$7,900
Hideki Matsuyama	$7,400
Harris English	$7,000
Patrick Rodgers	$6,800

This week's chart is for all of the dudes who are about to royally fuck-up this day despite their best efforts not to. Just know that you're not alone and, to be honest, you never really had a chance. It's a set-up. 

                               THE VALENTINE'S DAY MASSACRE

                             HISTORICAL PERFORMANCE CHART

We've got a pretty well decorated chart with Rory and Scottie being the obvious omissions from the top ten but you can't pick them all. Sahith Theegala and two-time champion Adam Scott certainly warrant some attention as does Matt Kuchar if you've gotten past the whole caddie stiffing incident. Which I have not. 

	DK PRICE	2023	2022	2021	2020	2019
Scottie Scheffler	$11,500	T12	T7	T20	T30	DNP
Rory McIlroy	$11,200	T29	T10	MC	T5	T4
Xander Schauffele	$10,100	T33	T13	T15	T23	T15
Viktor Hovland	$10,000	T20	T4	T5	DNP	DNP
Max Homa	$9,800	2nd	T10	1st	T5	T37
Collin Morikawa	$9,500	T6	T2	T43	T26	DNP
Patrick Cantlay	$9,300	3rd	T33	T15	T17	T15
Ludvig Aberg	$9,200	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Justin Thomas	$9,100	T20	6th	MC	MC	2nd
Jordan Spieth	$9,000	MC	T26	T15	T59	T51
Tony Finau	$8,900	T20	T33	2nd	T51	T15
Tommy Fleetwood	$8,800	T20	DNP	DNP	DNP	T28
Sam Burns	$8,700	MC	MC	3rd	T23	MC
Sahith Theegala	$8,600	T6	T48	DNP	DNP	DNP
Cameron Young	$8,500	T20	T2	DNP	DNP	DNP
Matthew Fitzpatrick	$8,400	MC	MC	T5	T30	DNP
Wyndham Clark	$8,300	T33	DQ	T8	T17	DNP
Adam Scott	$8,200	MC	T4	T38	1st	T7
Tom Kim	$8,100	T45	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Sungjae Im	$8,000	T56	T33	DNP	MC	MC
Jason Day	$8,000	T9	DNP	DNP	MC	DNP
Will Zalatoris	$7,900	4th	T26	T15	DNP	DNP
Keegan Bradley	$7,900	MC	T48	T60	MC	T51
J.T. Poston	$7,800	MC	MC	T43	T30	T28
Nicolai Hojgaard	$7,800	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Russell Henley	$7,700	MC	T33	T38	T17	T44
Eric Cole	$7,700	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Si Woo Kim	$7,600	MC	73rd	MC	T37	3rd
Byeong Hun An	$7,600	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Denny McCarthy	$7,500	T14	DNP	MC	T37	MC
Chris Kirk	$7,500	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Hideki Matsuyama	$7,400	MC	T39	MC	T5	T9
Rickie Fowler	$7,400	T20	T55	T20	DNP	DNP
Corey Conners	$7,300	61st	MC	MC	MC	DNP
Brian Harman	$7,300	MC	DNP	T43	T47	T51
Nick Taylor	$7,200	T33	DNP	T20	MC	T33
Cam Davis	$7,200	MC	T48	T43	DNP	MC
Adam Hadwin	$7,100	66th	MC	T26	T26	75th
Sepp Straka	$7,100	T45	T15	T43	MC	DNP
Beau Hossler	$7,000	MC	T48	DNP	DNP	T15
Harris English	$7,000	T12	DNP	DNP	DNP	MC
Kurt Kitayama	$6,900	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Emiliano Grillo	$6,900	T67	T21	MC	MC	DNP
Taylor Montgomery	$6,800	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Patrick Rodgers	$6,800	MC	MC	T12	T30	T15
Brendon Todd	$6,800	MC	DNP	MC	T56	DNP
Tom Hoge	$6,700	T14	MC	T52	DNP	MC
C. Bezuidenhout	$6,700	T58	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP
Adam Schenk	$6,700	T50	MC	DNP	T47	MC
Andrew Putnam	$6,600	MC	T48	T32	MC	MC
Luke List	$6,600	T29	MC	MC	T30	T15
Adam Svensson	$6,600	T9	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Tiger Woods	$6,500	T45	DNP	DNP	68th	T15
Taylor Moore	$6,500	MC	T21	DNP	DNP	DNP
Lucas Glover	$6,500	MC	DNP	MC	DNP	DNP
Matt Kuchar	$6,400	8th	T67	MC	T2	T28
Nick Dunlap	$6,400	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Ben Griffin	$6,400	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Alex Smalley	$6,300	MC	72nd	DNP	DNP	DNP
Kevin Yu	$6,300	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Mackenzie Hughes	$6,300	T50	MC	T32	DNP	MC
J.J. Spaun	$6,200	T33	MC	DNP	63rd	MC
Charley Hoffman	$6,200	DNP	71st	T52	MC	MC
Lee Hodges	$6,200	T18	T39	DNP	DNP	DNP
Gary Woodland	$6,100	T9	DNP	MC	DNP	DNP
Nick Hardy	$6,100	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Grayson Murray	$6,100	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	MC
Seamus Power	$6,000	T14	MC	DNP	DNP	T64
Sam Ryder	$6,000	T20	T26	DNP	MC	T56
Chase Johnson	$6,000	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP

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