Fantasy Golf: Arnold Palmer Invitational Preview

Let's take stock of the current FGR situation. My dog just had a splenectomy that cost more than a set of PXG irons which is actually kind of irrelevant because, when I recently moved my clubs from one side of the basement to the other, it was the first time I had touched them in seven weeks. That is the longest such non-injury related drought in recent memory.

Speaking of which, my acupuncturist recently looked at my knee and said "of course it hurts, your patella is pointed in the wrong direction" which explains the clicking noises and the ads for stair lifts now popping-up on my Facebook feed. I fear this condition could be an issue when I try to run around a lacrosse field later this month. (I'm detecting a theme here). Me continuing to play lacrosse is a lot like buying cryptocurrency. It just seems like a bad idea until you actually do it, at which point you confirm that it's a terrible idea.

On the bright side, my daughter made the badminton team at school. Not sure what being a crazy badminton dad entails but, after years of being an "animated" soccer and basketball dad, I'm going to have to learn how to adjust to a more intimate setting. I'll just stick to staring down the parents of the opposing player until I get the hang of the lingo as I presume yelling "THAT COCK WAS OUT!!!" is considered poor form.  

TWEET OF THE WEEK

Normally I would've gone with the guy who tweeted "the older you get, the more your pee sounds like the theme from Succession" (and he's right) but this week the FGR stands with Ukraine (sorry Comrade Carlson). Apparently, even their librarians are some trash-talking badass mutherfuckers.  

GOLF ANALYSIS FOR THE MAN WHO HAS EVERYTHING

So last week's picks kinda sucked huh?  Sungjae Im, Tommy Fleetwood, Brendan Steele, Harry Higgs and Stewart Cink all missed the cut and the rest of the FGR roster went like this: Alex Noren (T5), Gary Woodland (T5), Jhonattan Vegas (T42), Rickie Fowler (T42) and K.H. Lee (T48). Not exactly baby makin' music. 

But hope springs eternal with the arrival of March and some top 25 talent converging on Bay Hill. If this week's picks look familiar, it's because I went with the same top four last year and I got three T10's and a T21 to show for it. To me that means I was on to something, especially with Rory who's T10 was his worst finish since 2016. He's not quite at Tiger's 8 wins in 14 years level but he's no doorknob either.*

I have a long history of picking guys the week BEFORE they put it all together so when you combine that fact with Sungjae I'm's missed cut last week and his recent record here of 3rd, T3, T21, it feels like a lock. Much of the same can be said for Matthew Fitzpatrick who completely jobbed me with his last minute withdrawal from the Genesis Invitational. There's no feeling quite like watching three of your DraftKings teams floating dead in the water before the first group makes the turn on Thursday. Fantasy golf fever . . . catch it!!!

Hey here's a fun Arnold Palmer Invitational fact. In the last five years, guys from the United Kingdom have finished in the top 10 seventeen times and Tommy Fleetwood accounts for three of those with Paul Casey and Matt Wallace claiming one each. Ok so some facts are more fun than others but I needed an excuse to pick those three over Jason Kokrak, Luke List and Patrick Rodgers (all of whom are now guaranteed to finish in the top twenty). 

I'm already second guessing my Chris Kirk pick but the alternatives are Keegan Bradley, Patrick Reed and Ian Poulter a/k/a the three guys waiting on the tee box when you show-up as a single for your first round in hell. I'll be sticking with Kirk.

One and Done Pick: Rory McIlroy

Even this somewhat grainy
photo of the most beautiful
backswing ever is glorious.

Other Guy I'd Pick: Sungjae Im 

Sleeper Pick: Matt Wallace

DraftKings Top Ten Values

Rory McIlroy	$11,100
Sungjae Im	$9,900
Mattew Fitzpatrick	$9,200
Max Homa	$8,700
Paul Casey	$8,300
Keith Mitchell	$8,100
Tommy Fleetwood	$7,900
Chris Kirk	$7,500
Denny McCarthy	$7,100
Matt Wallace	$6,400

We lost the original Hot Lips this week. Most people don't realize that Sally Kellerman and Robert Duvall had to walk before Loretta Swit and Larry Linville could run (and I just lost the under 50 demographic).  

                                        THE MARGARET HOULIHAN

                                  HISTORICAL PERFORMANCE CHART

One of the more informative charts we'll find all year as it reveals Bay Hill's love of a "ball striker." Notables who didn't make the FGR cut this week include Tyrrell Hatton, Will Zalatoris, Marc Leishman, Jason Kokrak and Corey Conners. Of those five, I believe Hatton and Conners will be the most likely to fill my Sunday afternoon with regret.     

	DK Price	2021	2020	2019	2018	2017
Jon Rahm	$11,400	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Rory McIlroy	$11,100	T10	T5	T6	1st	T4
Viktor Hovland	$10,800	T49	T42	T40	DNP	DNP
Scottie Scheffler	$10,600	DNP	T15	DNP	DNP	DNP
Hideki Matsuyama	$10,300	T18	T56	T33	T49	T45
Sungjae Im	$9,900	T21	3rd	T3	DNP	DNP
Will Zalatoris	$9,400	T10	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Tyrell Hatton	$9,300	T21	1st	T29	T69	T4
Matthew Fitzpatrick	$9,200	T10	T9	2nd	MC	T13
Marc Leishman	$9,100	MC	2nd	T23	T7	1st
Adam Scott	$9,000	DNP	MC	DNP	T41	DNP
Billy Horschel	$8,900	MC	T36	T50	T54	T13
Sam Burns	$8,800	MC	T36	T54	T49	DNP
Max Homa	$8,700	T10	T24	DNP	DNP	DNP
Talor Gooch	$8,600	T43	T13	DNP	T26	DNP
Russell Henley	$8,500	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	T45
Jason Kokrak	$8,400	T8	T18	T10	MC	T56
Paul Casey	$8,300	T10	DNP	DNP	DNP	T41
Keith Mitchell	$8,100	T43	T5	T6	DNP	DNP
Sergio Garcia	$8,100	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Cameron Tringale	$8,000	T31	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Jason Day	$7,900	T31	W/D	W/D	T22	T23
Tommy Fleetwood	$7,900	T10	MC	T3	T26	T10
Gary Woodland	$7,800	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Maverick McNealy	$7,800	T49	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP
C. Bezuidenhout	$7,700	7th	T18	DNP	DNP	DNP
Justin Rose	$7,700	W/D	MC	T63	3rd	T13
Corey Conners	$7,600	3rd	MC	MC	DNP	DNP
Seamus Power	$7,600	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Cameron Young	$7,500	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Chris Kirk	$7,500	T8	DNP	T15	DNP	MC
Luke List	$7,500	T63	DNP	T10	T7	T17
Erik Van Rooyen	$7,400	T57	DNP	DNP	DNP	MC
Kevin Na	$7,400	T43	T36	MC	T36	MC
Matthew Wolff	$7,400	DNP	T52	DNP	DNP	DNP
Patrick Reed	$7,400	MC	T15	T50	T7	DNP
Keegan Bradley	$7,300	T10	T42	T46	T26	T34
Sepp Straka	$7,300	MC	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP
Si Woo Kim	$7,300	W/D	MC	MC	MC	T49
Tom Hoge	$7,300	MC	T15	DNP	T26	DNP
Ian Poulter	$7,200	T26	T32	T23	T41	T41
Kevin Kisner	$7,200	T36	MC	T23	MC	T2
Lucas Glover	$7,200	T66	MC	T10	T49	T7
Denny McCarthy	$7,100	T26	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP
Lanto Griffin	$7,100	T21	T36	DNP	DNP	DNP
Lee Westwood	$7,100	2nd	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP
Troy Merritt	$7,100	DNP	T24	DNP	DNP	T56
K.H. Lee	$7,000	MC	T42	DNP	DNP	DNP
Martin Laird	$7,000	T43	DNP	MC	T26	T49
Sahith Theegala	$7,000	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Thomas Pieters	$7,000	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	MC
Aaron Wise	$6,900	MC	DNP	T40	T41	DNP
Andrew Putnam	$6,900	T4	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP
Brendon Todd	$6,900	T57	T18	DNP	DNP	DNP
Carlos Ortiz	$6,900	DNP	MC	T29	DNP	DNP
Rickie Fowler	$6,900	72nd	T18	T40	T14	12th
Kevin Streelman	$6,800	DNP	MC	T58	T41	70th
Matt Jones	$6,800	MC	T47	DNP	DNP	DNP
Beau Hossler	$6,700	DNP	T24	T58	T66	DNP
Nick Taylor	$6,700	MC	T56	DNP	MC	DNP
Sam Ryder	$6,700	DNP	MC	T33	DNP	DNP
Cameron Davis	$6,600	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Lee Hodges	$6,600	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Patrick Rodgers	$6,500	T57	T24	T46	T7	MC
Charles Howell, III	$6,400	T36	MC	T15	T14	T56
Matt Wallace	$6,400	T18	T24	T6	DNP	DNP
Henrik Stenson	$6,300	MC	MC	T17	4th	MC

Footnote

* If you're detecting a punchier tone this week, you have a keen eye my friend. I woke-up at 3:45 a.m. this morning, gave-up hope for additional sleep around 4:30, made some coffee and got right to it. Nothing feeds the snark quite like sleep deprivation.  

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