Fantasy Golf: The Valspar Championship Preview

I was looking like a genius for most of the extended weekend and not just because I spent most it wearing dorky glasses while walking around scratching my ass in the same sweatpants and t-shirt looking like I was trying to invent a more efficient way to bathe a dog.* No it was because seven out of my ten picks either had a piece of the lead at some point or made a hole-in-one and then hung around the top of the leaderboard. (We will not be discussing my other three picks in this forum). 

Alas, most of them faded into the watery abyss of TPC Sawgrass and even Cameron Smith followed the Pied Piper on the 18th hole but, when you can wedge and putt like Phil Mickelson thinks he can shuck and jive, it doesn't really matter where you hit it. You've always got the keys to the jail cell in your bag.  

TWEET OF THE WEEK

The Law of Parsimony essentially states that, with competing theories or explanations, the simpler one is to be preferred. With that in mind . . . 

GLUTEN FREE GOLF ANALYSIS 

We're looking at another strong middle to upper middle class this week so I don't see any reason to spend five digits on the one of the top four guys. To be honest, I'm cautiously optimistic about the ten players I've identified below and you know what that means . . . RUN THE OTHER WAY!!!

But seriously folks, with two-time winner Paul Casey out, most of the rest pick themselves. The only real deviation from the obvious is that I prefer Louis Oosthuizen, Abraham Ancer and Jason Kokrak over defending champion Sam Burns. And even now as I write that I'm thinking, "well that's kind of stupid." Let your own conscience be your guide.

There is a bit more randomness to the lower tier picks but I will note that I'm giving Doc Redman and Denny McCarthy (along with Maverick McNealy) temporary passes into the "He's About to Win Zone" previously occupied by Talor Gooch. That might be a bit ambitious against this field but you gotta start somewhere.

One and Done Pick: Jason Kokrak

When I build my golf course, there is 
going to be a three hole stretch called
"The Armpit" . . . because lookout,
you're about to play really stinky.

Other Guy I'd Pick: Abraham Ancer 

Sleeper Pick: Vaughn Taylor

DraftKings Top Ten Values

Louis Oosthuizen	$9,900
Abraham Ancer	$9,300
Jason Kokrak	$9,200
Russell Knox	$8,100
Cameron Tringale	$8,000
Mackenzie Hughes	$7,800
Doc Redman	$7,400
Denny McCarthy	$7,400
Joel Dahmen	$7,100
Vaughn Taylor	$6,700

This week's chart is dedicated to an actor who possessed the range to play everything from a retired general turned heroine smuggler in Lethal Weapon to the boozy country club dad in Dharma & Greg to the whistle-blower hit man target in Grosse Pointe Blank. Sure all three characters could have been the same guy but it was the subtle nuances he delivered that made them each come alive.     

                                    THE MITCHELL RYAN MEMORIAL

                                HISTORICAL PERFORMANCE CHART

So we've got a little flavor at the top of this week's chart and a whole lot of bland at the bottom until you get all the way down to 2016 champion Charl Schwartzel. And good luck with Schwartzel. He's like betting on a five year old running across a pool deck holding an ice cream cone.

	DK Price	2021	2019	2018	2017	2016
Justin Thomas	$11,000	T13	DNP	DNP	MC	T18
Viktor Hovland	$10,800	T3	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Xander Schauffele	$10,300	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Dustin Johnson	$10,200	T48	T6	DNP	DNP	DNP
Louis Oosthuizen	$9,900	T8	T2	T16	DNP	T7
Tyrell Hatton	$9,800	DNP	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP
Shane Lowry	$9,700	DNP	DNP	T49	DNP	DNP
Sam Burns	$9,600	1st	T30	T12	DNP	DNP
Paul Casey (O)	$9,500	T21	1st	1st	DNP	DNP
Brooks Koepka	$9,400	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Abraham Ancer	$9,300	5th	DNP	T16	DNP	DNP
Jason Kokrak	$9,200	T13	T2	T8	T58	MC
Tommy Fleetwood	$9,100	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Matt Fitzpatrick	$9,000	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Jason Day	$8,900	DNP	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP
Bubba Watson	$8,800	T13	T4	DNP	MC	DNP
Alex Noren	$8,700	T21	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Harold Varner, III	$8,600	DNP	T65	78th	MC	MC
Gary Woodland	$8,500	MC	MC	DNP	T58	T42
Keegan Bradley	$8,400	2nd	MC	T31	T58	MC
Webb Simpson	$8,300	DNP	MC	T8	T41	MC
Kevin Kisner	$8,200	MC	T24	DNP	DNP	DNP
Russell Knox	$8,100	T21	T24	T16	MC	T56
Cameron Tringale	$8,000	T3	MC	DNP	MC	MC
Adam Hadwin	$7,900	MC	MC	T12	1st	MC
C. Bezuidenhout	$7,900	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
B. Wiesberger	$7,800	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Mackenzie Hughes	$7,800	MC	T13	MC	DNP	DNP
Aaron Wise	$7,700	DNP	DNP	T68	DNP	DNP
Kevin Streelman	$7,700	MC	MC	MC	T18	MC
Brian Harman	$7,600	DNP	MC	DNP	MC	MC
Sebastian Munoz (O)	$7,600	DNP	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP
Doug Ghim	$7,500	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Francesco Molinari	$7,500	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Jhonattan Vegas	$7,500	T48	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Denny McCarthy	$7,400	T39	T9	DNP	DNP	DNP
Doc Redman	$7,400	T39	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Lanto Griffin	$7,400	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
C.T. Pan	$7,300	DNP	T42	MC	MC	DNP
Carlos Ortiz	$7,200	DNP	MC	DNP	DNP	T56
Martin Laird	$7,200	MC	DNP	MC	MC	MC
Patton Kizzire	$7,200	T60	T60	DNP	MC	T33
Sahith Theegala	$7,200	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Brendon Todd	$7,100	DNP	DNP	DNP	MC	MC
Charley Hoffman	$7,100	T18	T18	MC	MC	T11
Joel Dahmen	$7,100	DNP	T30	DNP	DNP	DNP
Scott Stallings	$7,100	T29	T9	T31	68th	MC
Branden Grace	$7,000	T54	MC	T8	DNP	DNP
Emiliano Grillo	$7,000	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Matt Kuchar	$7,000	DNP	DNP	T40	T22	T11
Sam Ryder	$7,000	MC	MC	T68	DNP	DNP
Stewart Cink	$7,000	DNP	MC	T31	T27	MC
Chez Reavie	$6,900	MC	MC	MC	T27	T22
Lee Hodges	$6,900	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DD
Zach Johnson	$6,900	T29	T24	T16	DNP	DNP
Adam Schenk	$6,700	T18	MC	T59	DNP	DNP
Graeme McDowell	$6,700	MC	T46	T40	T14	MC
Vaughn Taylor	$6,700	T6	T18	DNP	DNP	MC
Troy Merritt	$6,600	T8	DNP	MC	MC	MC
Charl Schwartzel	$6,500	T21	MC	T49	6th	1st

Footnote 

* Apparently there is. According to the internet, you rim the bathtub with peanut butter and while Shithead works his way around licking it, you scrub him. Of course then you have ants in your bathtub but at least your dog is clean. 

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