Fantasy Golf: The Zurich Classic Preview

There were signs last week of righting the ship even as I wasted Collin Morikawa on a T26 finish. Matt Kuchar and Erik van Rooyen proved to be well-reasoned picks and I was smart enough to ignore my own advice and pair them with Patrick Cantlay and Shane Lowry to net myself a couple duckets from our good friends at DraftKings (who don't know we exist). Let's see if we can build on this.

TWEET OF THE WEEK

As a guy who currently has "Grim Reaper" in his job description, I can tell you that this is very sound advice. It is way less awkward to just step over and around dead bodies in the office than it is to lay them off. Eventually we'll probably forget why we were laying you off in the first place so you can return to your desk and continue doing whatever the fuck it was you were doing before.    

Study: Best Method Of Surviving Layoffs Remains Playing Dead As HR Rounds Corner https://t.co/VsgUL3PkJy pic.twitter.com/KB3wczGUF0

— The Onion (@TheOnion) April 19, 2022

GOLF ANALYSIS 

My gut told me to pick Dylan Riley this week because I can see him and Will Zalatoris going-off but then I remembered that my gut has recently been about as reliable as Paul Casey the day after a rigorous Zumba class. So instead I'm running for the safe space offered by the Billy Horschel - Sam burns pairing while eschewing the more obvious safe space of the Ryan Palmer - Scottie Scheffler pairing. 

Don't ask me why (because I have no good explanation) I continue to avoid Scheffler while he's in the midst of golf's answer to Martin Scorsese directing Mean Streets, Taxi Driver, The Last Waltz, Raging Bull and The King of Comedy over a ten movie stretch. When I finally do pick him, run like hell the other way because it's got T51 at the Travelers Championship written all over it. 

The next logical pick would be the European twosome of Sergio Garcia and Tommy Fleetwood (if you're into that kind of thing). And I do in fact see the Riley-Zalatoris pairing being lucrative even though this is their first run here. Zalatoris has the look and game of a guy who will make a boatload of birdies with a partner to back him up so if Riley can be the Hutch to his Starsky, look out.

Oh yeah, I'll be in the vicinity of TPC Louisiana this weekend so you may catch a glimpse of the FGR roaming the grounds. Most likely heckling Max Homa and trying to pick-up some club tossing pointers from Tyrrell Hatton.    

Thanks for the good vibes FGR (shit).

One and Done Pick: Billy Horschel 

Other Guy I'd Pick: Ryan Palmer 

Sleeper Pick: Nick Watney

DraftKings Top Ten Values

Billy Horschel	$10,000
Ryan Palmer	$9,700
Sergio Garcia	$9,400
Dylan Riley	$8,900
Brandt Snedeker	$7,900
Scott Brown	$7,600
Brian Stuard	$7,500
Chez Reavie	$7,400
Nick Watney	$7,000
Patrick Rodgers	$6,900

This week's chart is dedicated to the welcomed end of the airport/airline mask requirement. Not so much because we don't need them anymore as one could argue that you should always want to filter the exhalations of your fellow travelers. Because ewww.

No for many of us the most important freedom gained is that we no longer have to watch this game of cat and idiot between those trying to enforce the rule and those trying to circumvent it. Egads dude wouldn't it be easier to just put on a surgical mask than to wear a cut-off tube sock over your head? 

                              THE FAA MASK MANDATE MEMORIAL

                               HISTORICAL PERFORMANCE CHART

It's a very limited chart this week as adding twenty more rows of DNP's would not likely be instructive. The chemistry of team Hoffman-Watney is impossible to ignore unless you're one of those half-ass readers who doesn't scroll through the whole chart.  

	DK Price	2021	2019	2018	2017
Colin Morikawa	$10,700	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP
Viktor Hovland	$10,700	T25	DNP	DNP	DNP
Patrick Cantlay	$10,400	T11	MC	T7	T14
Xander Schauffele	$10,400	T11	DNP	DNP	T11
Cameron Smith	$10,200	1st	MC	MC	1st
Marc Leishman	$10,200	1st	DNP	DNP	DNP
Billy Horschel	$10,000	T4	T13	1st	MC
Sam Burns	$10,000	T4	MC	MC	DNP
Ryan Palmer	$9,700	7th	1st	MC	4th
Scottie Scheffler	$9,700	T8	DNP	DNP	DNP
Ian Poulter	$9,500	DNP	T9	T22	T32
Shane Lowry	$9,500	DNP	MC	T28	DNP
Sergio Garcia	$9,400	DNP	2nd	MC	DNP
Tommy Fleetwood	$9,400	DNP	2nd	T4	DNP
Joaquin Niemann	$9,200	DNP	MC	DNP	DNP
Mito Pereira	$9,200	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Max Homa	$9,100	T17	MC	DNP	DNP
Talor Gooch	$9,100	T17	DNP	MC	DNP
Bubba Watson	$9,000	T8	T34	T28	T5
Harold Varner, III	$9,000	MC	MC	MC	MC
Dylan Riley	$8,900	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Will Zalatoris	$8,900	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Danny Willett	$8,800	T8	DNP	DNP	DNP
Tyrell Hatton	$8,800	T8	DNP	DNP	MC
Byeong Hun An	$8,700	MC	DNP	MC	MC
Sungjae Im	$8,700	MC	T37	DNP	DNP
Graeme McDowell	$8,600	T23	T18	T22	DNP
Seamus Power	$8,600	DNP	T5	T10	MC
Brendan Steele	$8,500	T4	MC	T10	MC
Keegan Bradley	$8,500	T4	36th	MC	MC
J.T. Poston	$8,400	DNP	T22	MC	T32
Patton Kizzire	$8,400	DNP	MC	DNP	T5
Greyson Sigg	$8,300	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Sepp Straka	$8,300	T29	MC	DNP	DNP
Brendon Todd	$8,200	27th	DNP	DNP	MC
Chris Kirk	$8,200	27th	MC	MC	MC
Henrik Stenson	$8,100	T11	T18	T19	MC
Justin Rose	$8,100	T11	DNP	T19	MC
Adam Hadwin	$8,000	DNP	T13	DNP	DNP
Adam Svensson	$8,000	DNP	MC	DNP	DNP
Martin Laird	$8,000	MC	T9	T7	DNP
Robert Macintyre	$8,000	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Brandt Snedeker	$7,900	T4	DNP	MC	MC
C. Bezuidenhout	$7,900	DNP	DNP	DNP	MC
Charl Schwartzel	$7,900	2nd	MC	3rd	DNP
Keith Mitchell	$7,900	T4	DNP	MC	DNP
Cameron Tringale	$7,800	MC	T5	MC	MC
Robert Streb	$7,800	MC	T22	DNP	T24
Troy Merritt	$7,800	MC	T22	T10	T24
Wyndham Clark	$7,800	T17	MC	DNP	DNP
Doug Ghim	$7,700	T11	DNP	DNP	DNP
Joseph Bramlett	$7,700	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP
Matthias Schwab	$7,700	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Maverick McNealy	$7,700	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP
Jason Day	$7,600	DNP	MC	T34	MC
Jason Scrivener	$7,600	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Kevin Kisner	$7,600	MC	T5	T15	2nd
Scott Brown	$7,600	MC	T5	T15	2nd
Alex Noren	$7,500	T21	DNP	DNP	DNP
Beau Hossler	$7,500	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP
Brian Stuard	$7,500	MC	T22	T28	T11
Henrik Norlander	$7,500	T21	DNP	DNP	DNP
Russell Knox	$7,500	MC	T22	T7	MC
Sahith Theegala	$7,500	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Chez Reavie	$7,400	MC	T18	T22	T39
Lucas Glover	$7,400	MC	T18	T22	T39
Matthew NeSmith	$7,400	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP
Taylor Moore	$7,400	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Branden Grace	$7,300	MC	T32	DNP	T24
Garrick Higgo	$7,300	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Charley Hoffman	$7,000	T11	T9	T31	T5
Nick Watney	$7,000	T11	T9	T31	T5
Tom Hoge	$7,000	MC	T34	T10	T24
Paul Barjon	$7,000	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP

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