Wednesday, April 27, 2022

Fantasy Golf: The Mexico Open Preview

I had the pleasure of attending the Zurich Classic on Saturday morning before the yahoos rolled-in and I have to say it was a pleasant reminder of what an awesome experience live golf can be when you stumble into a randomly loaded field situation. Of the seventy-eight players on the course that day, I counted twenty-three guys who've played in the Ryder Cup and/or the President's Cup. There were ten major winners and at least three more guys who will eventually win one. (I'm looking at you Viktor Hovland and Cameron Smith but not so much at you anymore Xander Schauffele). 

Oh yeah, Max Homa was also there.

A few random notes and observations:
  • At 10:00 a.m. I spotted about as many beers as waters (not that I was counting). By noon the crowd was building and so was the booze buzz. I wasn't even drinking* and even I started having the urge to yell shit like . . . "YOU'RE MY PICK THIS WEEK BILLY!!!" . . . and "I'VE COME FULL CIRCLE AND NOW I ROOT FOR YOU AFTER YOU OPENED-UP ABOUT YOUR MENTAL HEALTH STRUGGLES BUBBA!!!"
  • Scottie Scheffler appears to be very methodical. I won't go so far as to say "Langeresque" but I've stood in MVA lines for less time than it took him to hit his birdie putt on the 7th hole.
  • Ian Poulter is a lot bigger than he looks on TV. In fact most of the players are. Except for Will Zalatoris. On the 4th hole, a squirrel picked him up and started running away with him until the marshals intervened. I'm joking of course. The marshals were all sound asleep in their folding chairs. So Tyrrell Hatton had to save Zalatoris by snapping his 8-iron in half and impaling the squirrel with it which he did with an ease that indicated it was not his first time. 
  • At one point, Collin Morikawa and his caddie were asking people behind me to stand still and instead they all started scurrying like someone just started playing The Benny Hill Show theme song. So they again asked everyone to "JUST STAND STILL" at which point Collin and I made eye contact and shook our heads in agreement that these people were in fact morons. It was a moment that I'm sure neither one of us will ever forget. 


Well Twitter and the FGR had a good run together. Won't be long now until Elon Musk turns it into a cesspool of human expression (oh right . . . never mind). In the meantime, here is the cutest dog tweet in the history of this godforsaken social media dumpster fire.  


I don't really have much to offer this week and I would go so far as to suggest that, if you wager heavily on this golf tournament, you might have a problem (it's only your friends who will tell you). This is the first year the Mexico Open has been a PGA Tour event which seems long overdue considering they've been traipsing up to Canada for over a hundred years. 

Usually these new tournaments yield one of three results: (1) A longtime tour grinder finally gets his first win (Cameron Tringale); (2) A young upstart gets HIS first win (Dylan Riley), or (3) Some old coot that we kind of forgot about finds a hot putter and gets something like this third or fourth win a/k/a the Sunday afternoon ratings doomsday scenario (Vaughn Taylor)

I'm going with Tringale to complete his rise from inspiration for the "Tringale Rule" just over a year ago to PGA Tour winner. Then it will be time to pass the torch of above averageness to someone like Wyndham Clark, Doc Redman or Kramer Hickock. We are still accepting applications.   

One and Done Pick: Cameron Tringale
This is our week you beautiful
Nautica wearing son of a gun.

Other Guy I'd Pick: Brendon Todd 

Sleeper Pick: Vaughn Taylor

DraftKings Top Ten Values

Abraham Ancer


Cameron Tringale


Brendon Todd


Dylan Riley


Mark Hubbard


Anirban Lahiri


Adam Long


Wyndham Clark


Greyson Sigg


Vaughn Taylor



* I was in New Orleans for my son's 21st birthday which had started with a shot of Fireball at midnight the night before and was due to pick back up that evening. In an effort to avoid being "that dad" later, I committed to pacing myself throughout the day though the siren's call of the Bud Light was quite seductive and loud. 

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