I've been continuing to treat my Patrick Reed Traumatic Stress Disorder ("PRTSD") by spending long stretches of time ogling golf equipment porn on ebay, TGW and other less reputable sites. The other day I found myself scrolling through Craigslist hoping to stumble-on to a case of some poor unknowing widow whose late husband had just bought a Callaway Epic 3-Hybrid with a stiff graphite shaft that she thought might be worth as much as $50. Instead I spent twenty minutes looking at junior clubs, King Cobra knock-offs and complete sets that originally cost $195 at Walmart before serving time buried in the corner of a garage for ten years waiting to be paroled via yard sale. The whole experience left me feeling dirty, empty and ashamed.
But hey! At least we had Sunday's exciting finish to reignite our golf passion. Of course as it was unfolding, some of us were defying common sense by playing in freezing sideways rain but apparently that didn't matter because it wasn't televised live anyway. We literally have a television network called the fucking "Golf Channel" and they can't figure-out how to shift live coverage for the weather? I wish the robots would hurry-up and takeover. Maybe we'll get five good years of unbelievable customer service before the plot of The Terminator kicks-in and we all have to move underground and eat rats.
It's not all gloom and doom, however, as the tour returns to Texas and you know what that means. Sexy Cowgirl Week!!! I get to take a break from staring at a dozen variations of the same gap wedge to Google "sexy cowgirl" which may literally be the best part of this job. Seriously, there may be nothing else that makes me feel more lucky that I get to pretend that I get paid to do this every week than doing that search to see if a new non-copyright protected picture shows-up or if I have to recycle one of the dozen I have saved on my office hard drive (I swear they were on there the first time I turned it on). You'll have to keep reading to find-out if my search was successful.
As for this week's picks, Charley Hoffman is the obvious choice with a win here in 2016 to go along with a slew of other quality showings. If you've been following my advice all year, however, then you probably need to think a bit outside the box because you're never going to climb out of this hole by picking chalk. To that end, I'd take a long look at 2015 champion Jimmy Walker who finally appears to be healthy as evidenced by his T20 at Augusta.
Ryan Palmer and Billy Horschel are also intriguing by virtue of there track records in San Antonio but they may be two of the Tour's most enigmatic players. Especially Horschel who is a walking on/off switch. If you think last week's T5 will carryover, then he's your guy but it's worth noting that it was his first top ten since June of last year. Now if you'll excuse me, I think I found a Vokey SM6 Gap Wedge for just $17.95 that looks like it was used to dig out of prison.
One and Done Pick: Charley Hoffman
The Other Guy I'd Pick: Jimmy Walker
Sleeper Pick: Keith Mitchell
The DraftKings Top Ten Values
And of course if you don't like those picks, here is a bunch of discarded research that may help you unless some completely random guy from Japan shows-up and shoots 66 on Sunday again (if by random you mean he was ranked 46th in the world and finished T28 at the Masters). Piss-off. It's Cowgirl Week.
Email the Fantasy Golf Report at fgr@fantasygolfreport.com.
 |
| "Shit. Maybe the end of life as we know it was too much to pay for a talking toaster." |
It's not all gloom and doom, however, as the tour returns to Texas and you know what that means. Sexy Cowgirl Week!!! I get to take a break from staring at a dozen variations of the same gap wedge to Google "sexy cowgirl" which may literally be the best part of this job. Seriously, there may be nothing else that makes me feel more lucky that I get to pretend that I get paid to do this every week than doing that search to see if a new non-copyright protected picture shows-up or if I have to recycle one of the dozen I have saved on my office hard drive (I swear they were on there the first time I turned it on). You'll have to keep reading to find-out if my search was successful.
As for this week's picks, Charley Hoffman is the obvious choice with a win here in 2016 to go along with a slew of other quality showings. If you've been following my advice all year, however, then you probably need to think a bit outside the box because you're never going to climb out of this hole by picking chalk. To that end, I'd take a long look at 2015 champion Jimmy Walker who finally appears to be healthy as evidenced by his T20 at Augusta.
Ryan Palmer and Billy Horschel are also intriguing by virtue of there track records in San Antonio but they may be two of the Tour's most enigmatic players. Especially Horschel who is a walking on/off switch. If you think last week's T5 will carryover, then he's your guy but it's worth noting that it was his first top ten since June of last year. Now if you'll excuse me, I think I found a Vokey SM6 Gap Wedge for just $17.95 that looks like it was used to dig out of prison.
 |
| Mission accomplished! |
The Other Guy I'd Pick: Jimmy Walker
Sleeper Pick: Keith Mitchell
The DraftKings Top Ten Values
Charley Hoffman
|
$10,900
|
Luke List
|
$10,000
|
Billy Horschel
|
$9,100
|
Brendan Steele
|
$8,900
|
Ryan Palmer
|
$8,300
|
Jimmy Walker
|
$8,200
|
Keith Mitchell
|
$7,400
|
Aaron Baddeley
|
$7,400
|
Trey Mullinax
|
$7,200
|
Kevin Tway
|
$7,000
|
And of course if you don't like those picks, here is a bunch of discarded research that may help you unless some completely random guy from Japan shows-up and shoots 66 on Sunday again (if by random you mean he was ranked 46th in the world and finished T28 at the Masters). Piss-off. It's Cowgirl Week.
DK Price
|
2017
|
2016
|
2015
|
2014
|
2013
|
|
Sergio Garcia
|
$12,000
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Matt Kuchar
|
$11,400
|
T40
|
T42
|
T15
|
T4
|
T22
|
C. Hoffman
|
$10,900
|
T40
|
1st
|
T11
|
T11
|
T3
|
Ryan Moore
|
$10,200
|
T18
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Luke List
|
$10,000
|
MC
|
T29
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
T46
|
Adam Scott
|
$9,600
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Kevin Chappell
|
$9,300
|
1st
|
T4
|
T66
|
MC
|
T15
|
Billy Horschel
|
$9,100
|
MC
|
T4
|
3rd
|
MC
|
T3
|
B. Snedeker
|
$9,000
|
DNP
|
T25
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Brendan Steele
|
$8,900
|
T62
|
T13
|
T8
|
MC
|
T46
|
X. Schauffele
|
$8,800
|
MC
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Ollie Schnieds
|
$8,700
|
T18
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Si Woo Kim
|
$8,600
|
T22
|
MC
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
C. Hadley
|
$8,500
|
DNP
|
MC
|
T4
|
T56
|
DNP
|
Pat Perez
|
$8,400
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
T20
|
T11
|
DNP
|
Ryan Palmer
|
$8,300
|
T6
|
T4
|
T6
|
T56
|
T15
|
Jimmy Walker
|
$8,200
|
T13
|
MC
|
1st
|
T16
|
T31
|
Beau Hossler
|
$8,100
|
MC
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Martin Laird
|
$8,000
|
T18
|
DNP
|
T50
|
MC
|
1st
|
K. Bradley
|
$7,900
|
MC
|
T37
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
J.B. Holmes
|
$7,800
|
DNP
|
T13
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Kevin Na
|
$7,800
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
T20
|
T11
|
DNP
|
J. Lovemark
|
$7,700
|
T40
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
T36
|
DNP
|
Brian Gay
|
$7,500
|
T6
|
MC
|
DNP
|
T56
|
T61
|
Aaron Baddeley
|
$7,300
|
5th
|
T29
|
T20
|
T67
|
T15
|
Aaron Wise
|
$7,300
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Jhonny Vegas
|
$7,300
|
T34
|
MC
|
T68
|
MC
|
DNP
|
Trey Mullinax
|
$7,200
|
MC
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
D. Summerhays
|
$7,000
|
T58
|
T13
|
T4
|
T2
|
T7
|
Kevin Tway
|
$7,000
|
T3
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Email the Fantasy Golf Report at fgr@fantasygolfreport.com.
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