Fantasy Golf: The Wyndham Championship Preview

Hey I’m back on a plane heading home two days early so that my son won’t miss the start of tryouts for a soccer season that probably won’t even happen. I’m sitting in the back of the aircraft thanks to Southwest’s decision to delay the flight 30 minutes but board as if it was on time thereby negating the effect of my A-List status. There is currently a dog barking and the large man two seats over just settled-in by lifting his shirt above his prodigious belly. So goes life in steerage. 

At least I’m not hungry as we took the “extra” time to spend $100 on a hamburger, a club sandwich and a beer which we choked-down at the San Juan Airport's only full service restaurant (at least on Concourse B) . . . fucking Margaritaville. You have to give Jimmy Buffet credit. He has maximized the profit from his marginal talent better than anyone since the guy who originally painted dogs playing poker.  

Oh hey a crazy lady just went running down the aisle, cracked her knee on an armrest and hit the floor. Hard. Now she and her male companion are in the back asking for alcohol despite it not being displayed anywhere on the laminated card which basically said, "you can have any of these five fucking things and none of them are alcohol . . . asshole." 

TWEET OF THE WEEK

This is a brilliant observation of arguably the two most iconic characters of our time. 

GOLF ANALYSIS

I’m not exactly sure how to react to last week’s outcome. I backed myself into a corner where I was forced to choose between Billy Horschel and Harris English. Somehow I managed to actually win that coin-flip only to see English implode on the back and finish 4^th despite only needing to shoot +3 over the final nine holes to win. Fortunately I was spared actually witnessing the meltdown because YouTube TV is only available in the United States. Sorry Puerto Rico. Maybe come back tomorrow. 

(And sorry for the shit writing but the lady next to me is encroaching so far past the armrest that I can't reach the left side of the keyboard).

I understand, however, that English got stuck playing with the dildo in the stupid hat whose slow play led to warnings which put the leader on tilt. I knew that asshole had to have something to do with it. Anyway, the 4th place finish combined with Brooks Koepka's T54 propelled me back into first place so mission accomplished for the week and I'm now one-step closer to winning enough money to buy everyone currently reading this a low-end toaster.

(I just finally threw the penalty flag for encroachment and the tone with which armrest lady explained what happened in heated Spanish to belly guy would lead me to believe that I better haul ass up the jetway and not look back).

This week I'm picking Webb Simpson for obvious reasons (see below). This is such a slam dunk lead-pipe lock that he's sure to finish T65. If that troubles you like it does me, I'd go with Jason Kokrak or Sungjae Im. The rest of the picks are all defensible. Trust me. 

One and Done Pick: Webb Simpson 

Picking Webb is like wrapping
yourself in a very warm blanket.

Other Guy I’d Pick: Brian Harman 

Sleeper Pick: Ryan Armour

Draftkings Top Ten Values

Webb Simpson	$10,600
Jason Kokrak	$10,000
Sungjae Im	$9,600
Si Woo Kim	$9,100
Rickie Fowler	$8,600
Talor Gooch	$7,700
Harold Varner, III	$7,500
Rory Sabbatini	$7,300
Ryan Armour	$7,000
Denny McCarthy	$6,400

See below for the justification of my Armour and McCarthy picks. If you need more than that, I can't help you. Because I'm very tired.

                                   THE CHEESEBURGER IN PARA . . . 

                                    OH GO FUCK YOURSELF JIMMY                                     

                               HISTORICAL PERFORMANCE CHART

	DK Price	2020	2019	2018	2017	2016
Hideki Matsuyama	$11,000	DNP	MC	T11	DNP	T3
Louis Oosthuizen	$10,700	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Webb Simpson	$10,600	T3	2nd	T2	3rd	T72
Will Zalatoris	$10,300	DNP	DNP	MC	DNP	DNP
Jason Kokrak	$10,000	T15	T6	T57	T16	MC
Brian Harman	$9,900	T27	T6	DNP	DNP	MC
Tommy Fleetwood	$9,700	T59	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Sungjae Im	$9,600	T9	T6	DNP	DNP	DNP
Russell Henley	$9,400	T9	T31	MC	DNP	T46
Matthew Wolff	$9,300	DNP	T19	DNP	DNP	DNP
Adam Scott	$9,200	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Si Woo Kim	$9,100	T3	5th	MC	DNP	1st
Bubba Watson	$9,000	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Robert Macintyre	$8,900	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Kevin Na	$8,800	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	T10
Gary Woodland	$8,700	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Rickie Fowler	$8,600	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	T22
Seamus Power	$8,500	T27	T60	DNP	T83	DNP
Kevin Kisner	$8,400	T3	DNP	DNP	T42	T10
Kevin Streelman	$8,300	DNP	MC	DNP	T72	DNP
Sebastian Munoz	$8,200	T74	T48	DNP	MC	DNP
Charl Schwartzel	$8,100	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Erik Van Rooyen	$8,000	DNP	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP
Justin Rose	$8,000	MC	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP
Brandt Snedeker	$7,900	T42	T39	1st	DNP	T3
Mito Pereira	$7,900	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
J.T. Poston	$7,800	MC	1st	MC	T50	DNP
Jhonattan Vegas	$7,800	MC	DNP	MC	DNP	DNP
Lucas Glover	$7,700	MC	T72	DNP	T28	T22
Talor Gooch	$7,700	T25	MC	MC	DNP	DNP
Hank Lebioda	$7,600	T42	T78	DNP	DNP	DNP
Mackenzie Hughes	$7,600	DNP	T22	T66	DNP	DNP
Patton Kizzire	$7,600	T51	T13	DNP	T24	T53
Harold Varner, III	$7,500	T7	T60	T53	T10	MC
Ryan Moore	$7,500	MC	DNP	T6	T24	T53
Zach Johnson	$7,500	T7	T53	DNP	DNP	DNP
Branden Grace	$7,400	MC	T48	DNP	DNP	DNP
C.T. Pan	$7,400	T69	DNP	T2	63rd	DNP
Chez Reavie	$7,400	MC	T48	DNP	T37	MC
Lanto Griffin	$7,400	DNP	DNP	T57	DNP	DNP
Doug Ghim	$7,300	MC	DNP	T20	DNP	DNP
Patrick Rodgers	$7,300	T66	T81	T24	DNP	DNP
Rory Sabbatini	$7,300	MC	T6	T57	T4	DNP
Brandon Hagy	$7,200	MC	DNP	DNP	MC	DNP
Chris Kirk	$7,200	T51	DNP	T11	DNP	T46
Dylan Frittelli	$7,200	T20	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP
Joel Dahmen	$7,200	DNP	T53	DNP	T42	DNP
Matt Jones	$7,200	T37	MC	MC	MC	MC
Brendon Todd	$7,100	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP	MC
Luke List	$7,100	T66	MC	DNP	DNP	MC
Sepp Straka	$7,100	MC	T39	DNP	DNP	DNP
Aaron Wise	$7,000	MC	T48	DNP	DNP	DNP
Doc Redman	$7,000	T3	MC	MC	DNP	DNP
Ryan Armour	$7,000	T25	T25	T8	T4	DNP
Scott Piercy	$7,000	T69	T36	T45	DNP	T63
Adam Hadwin	$6,900	DNP	MC	DNP	DNP	T33
Jim Herman	$6,900	1st	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Adam Long	$6,800	T31	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP
Byeong Hun An	$6,800	DNP	3rd	DNP	MC	DNP
Francesco Molinari	$6,800	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Matt Kuchar	$6,800	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Jason Dufner	$6,700	T31	MC	T66	T14	T22
Denny McCarthy	$6,400	T9	T22	T36	DNP	DNP

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