Well at least I'll get the golf course right this week assuming they didn't up and move this one too without telling anyone . . . shut up.
It turns-out that botching last week's preview was just the warm-up act for a week of debaclery (I know all the best words) culminating with me pulling an epic gag job on the 19th hole of a match that actually mattered to me and the weirdos in the worm store.* But hey, it's not like my partner and I clawed back from 3 down with 4 to play only to both throw-up on our shoes in overtime. Actually it was exactly like that. Fuck it. That which does not kill me makes for good writing fodder. Maybe I'll share the details later after the area is cleared of sharp objects.
Moving on . . .
TWEET OF THE WEEK
An icon in the making and he was just getting warmed-up dammit. Man this was one grounded, talented and cool dude . . .
RISING FROM THE ASHES LIKE A FUCKING PHOENIX GOLF ANALYSIS
We've got only three former winners in the field and ten guys who've never played here before so that's kind of weird. And then we have to reconcile that with the fact that the leaderboard at East Lake tends to hold pretty true to form while we work within the confines of DraftKings wacky 30 man field formula (which is awesome by the way). Now add the fact that I'm slightly inebriated and let's see where this takes us.
First off, D.J. is out. He's just too expensive and prone to drop a stink bomb like he did last year and it's preposterous to think he's worth $3,300 more than Justin Thomas and beyond ludicrous to think he's worth $5,500 more than Rory McIlroy who's won here twice. Suffice it to say I'm recommending Thomas and McIlroy. I stand by my belief that Thomas is the best player in the world until he keeps proving that I'm almost but not quite right.
This course feels like an ideal set-up for Collin Morikawa to pull a 2017 Xander Schauffele so I'm picking both of them. Even after his win at the PGA Championship, I'm still not sure people understand how good Morikiawa is. He's really fucking good. And so is Schauffele who is going to either win this week or one of the two remaining majors. Deal with it!
Now it gets interesting. I'm going with Hideki Matsuyama over Daniel Berger based on course history (that's not the interesting part). And you are almost obligated to take Tony Finau who is a top five machine even if he's destined to be a glitzier version of Charles Howell, III. Brendon Todd is a ridiculous value. Even for a zombie.
You kinda gotta go with Billy Horschel at $5,700 right? I mean who wants to be sitting there on Sunday smacking their forehead as Horschel back-doors a 5th place finish? I don't. And I feel almost the same way about Ryan Palmer who will inevitably play in the second to last group before fading to 7th.
We need one low priced new guy and I like Viktor Hovland because, out of all the low-priced new guys, he's by far the best golfer.
And one final note . . . Scottie Scheffler could contend and, if I had the energy to write this over again, I'd probably pick him but you have now idea how much work it is for this caveman to get all of this shit on here every week in some semblance of order. So I'm not changing it. But I think I'd take Scheffler over Finau. I'll probably see how the numbers workout and tweet my final decision from a bathroom stall tomorrow. Stay classy West Towson . . .
One and Done Pick: Xander Schauffele
Other Guy I'd Pick: Justin Thomas
Sleeper Pick: Viktor Hovland
DraftKings Top Ten Values
Thanks to all of the new guys, we have a lot of DNP's so most of the value of the chart is at the top but hard to ignore Horschel's runner-up in 2018 and not featured is his win in 2014. Also revealing is how badly Marc Leishman plays this course. He did, however, finish +30 last week so he's coming in off a lot of reps.
THE FLY THE DEFIANT SKIES OF ANTIFA AIRLINES
HISTORICAL PERFORMANCE CHART
Footnote
* We haven't done a footnote in a while. Anyway, the obscure reference above is derived from a Homer Simpson quote as he's trying to explain to Marge how catching a large fish while all alone in a random pond makes him a hero to "the weirdos in the worm store" which is pretty much what most of us are playing for at this stage of our athletic careers. For we are to each other the weirdos in the worm store.
Email the Fantasy Golf Report at fgr@fantasygolfreport.com.
It turns-out that botching last week's preview was just the warm-up act for a week of debaclery (I know all the best words) culminating with me pulling an epic gag job on the 19th hole of a match that actually mattered to me and the weirdos in the worm store.* But hey, it's not like my partner and I clawed back from 3 down with 4 to play only to both throw-up on our shoes in overtime. Actually it was exactly like that. Fuck it. That which does not kill me makes for good writing fodder. Maybe I'll share the details later after the area is cleared of sharp objects.
Moving on . . .
TWEET OF THE WEEK
An icon in the making and he was just getting warmed-up dammit. Man this was one grounded, talented and cool dude . . .
One of my favorite @nbcsnl Black Jeopardy moments.#ChadwickBoseman pic.twitter.com/fqpE06lHCY— Tori Mason (@ToriMasonTV) August 29, 2020
RISING FROM THE ASHES LIKE A FUCKING PHOENIX GOLF ANALYSIS
We've got only three former winners in the field and ten guys who've never played here before so that's kind of weird. And then we have to reconcile that with the fact that the leaderboard at East Lake tends to hold pretty true to form while we work within the confines of DraftKings wacky 30 man field formula (which is awesome by the way). Now add the fact that I'm slightly inebriated and let's see where this takes us.
First off, D.J. is out. He's just too expensive and prone to drop a stink bomb like he did last year and it's preposterous to think he's worth $3,300 more than Justin Thomas and beyond ludicrous to think he's worth $5,500 more than Rory McIlroy who's won here twice. Suffice it to say I'm recommending Thomas and McIlroy. I stand by my belief that Thomas is the best player in the world until he keeps proving that I'm almost but not quite right.
This course feels like an ideal set-up for Collin Morikawa to pull a 2017 Xander Schauffele so I'm picking both of them. Even after his win at the PGA Championship, I'm still not sure people understand how good Morikiawa is. He's really fucking good. And so is Schauffele who is going to either win this week or one of the two remaining majors. Deal with it!
Now it gets interesting. I'm going with Hideki Matsuyama over Daniel Berger based on course history (that's not the interesting part). And you are almost obligated to take Tony Finau who is a top five machine even if he's destined to be a glitzier version of Charles Howell, III. Brendon Todd is a ridiculous value. Even for a zombie.
You kinda gotta go with Billy Horschel at $5,700 right? I mean who wants to be sitting there on Sunday smacking their forehead as Horschel back-doors a 5th place finish? I don't. And I feel almost the same way about Ryan Palmer who will inevitably play in the second to last group before fading to 7th.
We need one low priced new guy and I like Viktor Hovland because, out of all the low-priced new guys, he's by far the best golfer.
And one final note . . . Scottie Scheffler could contend and, if I had the energy to write this over again, I'd probably pick him but you have now idea how much work it is for this caveman to get all of this shit on here every week in some semblance of order. So I'm not changing it. But I think I'd take Scheffler over Finau. I'll probably see how the numbers workout and tweet my final decision from a bathroom stall tomorrow. Stay classy West Towson . . .
 |
| Just look at him . . . he definitely knows something we don't know. |
Other Guy I'd Pick: Justin Thomas
Sleeper Pick: Viktor Hovland
DraftKings Top Ten Values
Justin Thomas
|
$11,900
|
Collin Morikawa
|
$10,400
|
Rory McIlroy
|
$9,700
|
Hideki Matsuyama
|
$9,300
|
Xander Schauffele
|
$8,900
|
Tony Finau
|
$8,200
|
Brendon Todd
|
$7,600
|
Viktor Hovland
|
$6,600
|
Billy Horschel
|
$5,700
|
Ryan Palmer
|
$5,400
|
Thanks to all of the new guys, we have a lot of DNP's so most of the value of the chart is at the top but hard to ignore Horschel's runner-up in 2018 and not featured is his win in 2014. Also revealing is how badly Marc Leishman plays this course. He did, however, finish +30 last week so he's coming in off a lot of reps.
THE FLY THE DEFIANT SKIES OF ANTIFA AIRLINES
HISTORICAL PERFORMANCE CHART
DK Price
|
2019
|
2018
|
2017
|
2016
|
2015
|
|
Dustin Johnson
|
$15,200
|
T29
|
3rd
|
T17
|
T6
|
T5
|
Jon Rahm
|
$12,700
|
T12
|
T11
|
T7
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Justin Thomas
|
$11,900
|
T3
|
T7
|
2nd
|
T6
|
DNP
|
Webb Simpson
|
$11,000
|
T16
|
T4
|
T13
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Collin Morikawa
|
$10,400
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
B. DeChambeau
|
$10,100
|
T12
|
19th
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Rory McIlroy
|
$9,700
|
1st
|
T7
|
DNP
|
1st
|
T16
|
Hideki Matsuyama
|
$9,300
|
T9
|
T4
|
T26
|
5th
|
T12
|
Daniel Berger
|
$9,100
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
T15
|
T12
|
Xander Schauffele
|
$8,900
|
2nd
|
T7
|
1st
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Harris English
|
$8,700
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
T22
|
Patrick Reed
|
$8,500
|
T9
|
28th
|
T13
|
T24
|
27th
|
Tony Finau
|
$8,200
|
7th
|
T15
|
T7
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Scottie Scheffler
|
$7,900
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Brendon Todd
|
$7,600
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Sunjae Im
|
$7,300
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Tyrrell Hatton
|
$7,000
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Kevin Kisner
|
$6,800
|
T9
|
DNP
|
T3
|
26th
|
28th
|
Viktor Hovland
|
$6,600
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Joaquin Niemann
|
$6,300
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Abraham Ancer
|
$6,100
|
T21
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Sebastian Munoz
|
$5,900
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Billy Horschel
|
$5,700
|
DNP
|
2nd
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Lanto Griffin
|
$5,600
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Kevin Na
|
$5,500
|
DNP
|
25th
|
DNP
|
29th
|
T16
|
Ryan Palmer
|
$5,400
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Cameron Champ
|
$5,300
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Mackenzie Hughes
|
$5,200
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Cameron Smith
|
$5,100
|
DNP
|
20th
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Marc Leishman
|
$5,000
|
T24
|
T21
|
T24
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Footnote
* We haven't done a footnote in a while. Anyway, the obscure reference above is derived from a Homer Simpson quote as he's trying to explain to Marge how catching a large fish while all alone in a random pond makes him a hero to "the weirdos in the worm store" which is pretty much what most of us are playing for at this stage of our athletic careers. For we are to each other the weirdos in the worm store.
Email the Fantasy Golf Report at fgr@fantasygolfreport.com.
1 comment:
If you can believe it, I did get the worm store reference. to button this up - "Went by the name of Homer. Seven feet tall he was, with arms like tree trunks. And his eyes were like steel, cold and hard. Had A shock of hair, red, like the fires of hell.
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