So I broke a 46 hole birdie-less streak on Monday which is kind of a big deal when you're out there posing and preening as a douchy mid single digit handicap. The culprit was and probably still is easy enough to identify. It's my fucking putter which now feels as comfortable in my hands as a temperamental toddler crocodile. When I finally did make a birdie, it came after almost acing a par 3 as witnessed by one of the assistant pros who said "it almost went in Mr. Elliott" to which I replied "want to watch me miss the fucking putt?" He apparently did not as he quietly moved along to a less volatile situation anywhere else on the property.
The irreconcilable differences between me and my putter began a couple weeks ago before a 34 putt debacle in what will be remembered as the gag match of 2020. And that round miraculously included a couple of birdie putts that somehow went in so you can only imagine the misadventures on the other sixteen greens. But I'm over it. Really. Haven't thought about it in like thirty seconds. No wait, just winced again.
TWEET OF THE WEEK
This is pretty much how I expect to feel waking-up every day for the rest of 2020 knowing that the pools are closing, the virus is regrouping and winter is most definitely coming mutherfuckers.
DE MINIMIS GOLF ANALYSIS
For more in-depth analysis this week or for any depth at all, this is one of the rare occasions where I would encourage you to read the PGATour.com Power Rankings. The writing is typically bland and uninspired but the information is solid. Then again, it's hard not to exceed the low expectations of forecasting a tournament with no buzz. But I'll give it a shot anyway.
I have a feeling that Phil Mickelson is going to sling it around pretty good on a course he likes and you are almost obligated to pick Brendan Steele here based on his wins in 2017 and 2018. I also like Joel Dahmen. Mainly because I like Joel Dahmen so proceed cautiously with that reasoning which almost forces me to pick Pat Perez every week.
The rest of the picks are kind of the usual collection of random hopefuls except for Wesley Bryan who would appear to have some serious upside as the guy who missed about two years with a shoulder injury and has now finished 24th, 21st and 31st in his last three starts. Beware the guy who has recently rediscovered his love for the game. Hopefully that will be me one day after my putter is resting peacefully on the bottom of a fucking lake.
One and Done Pick: Joel Dahmen
Other Guy I'd Pick: Tyler Duncan
Sleeper Pick: Wesley Bryan
DraftKings Top Ten Values
Email the Fantasy Golf Report at fgr@fantasygolfreport.com.
The irreconcilable differences between me and my putter began a couple weeks ago before a 34 putt debacle in what will be remembered as the gag match of 2020. And that round miraculously included a couple of birdie putts that somehow went in so you can only imagine the misadventures on the other sixteen greens. But I'm over it. Really. Haven't thought about it in like thirty seconds. No wait, just winced again.
TWEET OF THE WEEK
This is pretty much how I expect to feel waking-up every day for the rest of 2020 knowing that the pools are closing, the virus is regrouping and winter is most definitely coming mutherfuckers.
Let’s go SkyDiving he said. It will be fun he said pic.twitter.com/w1P5N1p8tb— Unhip.OldGuy (@UOldguy) September 5, 2020
DE MINIMIS GOLF ANALYSIS
For more in-depth analysis this week or for any depth at all, this is one of the rare occasions where I would encourage you to read the PGATour.com Power Rankings. The writing is typically bland and uninspired but the information is solid. Then again, it's hard not to exceed the low expectations of forecasting a tournament with no buzz. But I'll give it a shot anyway.
I have a feeling that Phil Mickelson is going to sling it around pretty good on a course he likes and you are almost obligated to pick Brendan Steele here based on his wins in 2017 and 2018. I also like Joel Dahmen. Mainly because I like Joel Dahmen so proceed cautiously with that reasoning which almost forces me to pick Pat Perez every week.
The rest of the picks are kind of the usual collection of random hopefuls except for Wesley Bryan who would appear to have some serious upside as the guy who missed about two years with a shoulder injury and has now finished 24th, 21st and 31st in his last three starts. Beware the guy who has recently rediscovered his love for the game. Hopefully that will be me one day after my putter is resting peacefully on the bottom of a fucking lake.
 |
| This is the actual Safeway in my neighborhood. You know the one that apparently no longer sells those little dishwasher wand sponges. WTF?!?!? |
Other Guy I'd Pick: Tyler Duncan
Sleeper Pick: Wesley Bryan
DraftKings Top Ten Values
Phil Mickelson
|
$10,600
|
Brendan Steele
|
$10,000
|
Joel Dahmen
|
$9,500
|
Tyler Duncan
|
$8,400
|
Mark Hubbard
|
$8,100
|
Patrick Rodgers
|
$7,600
|
Talor Gooch
|
$7,300
|
Scott Piercy
|
$7,200
|
Wesley Bryan
|
$7,100
|
Martin Laird
|
$7,000
|
Email the Fantasy Golf Report at fgr@fantasygolfreport.com.
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