Fantasy Golf: The Valero Texas Open Preview

I was going to share some heartfelt thoughts on Season 2, Episode 3 of Full Swing which looks at the mental side of the game through two golfers approaching it differently - Wyndham Clark who accepted that he needed help and now works with a sports psychologist and Joel Dahmen who figured he just had to grind his way out of the struggles with the help of some gin. I'll let you guess who I empathized with more but I will say it made me like Clark just a little more even if the starting point for that was previously zero. 

Unfortunately, I switched away from the show to watch the thrilling end of the Cornell-Syracuse lacrosse game and, by the time I went back, all of my kids were using the Netflix account and fuck if I was going to pay another $7.50 to watch Clark win the U.S. Open again. So we'll have to get back to that later. On the bright side, my saucy 16 year old daughter is apparently now watching Sex and the City which I'm sure is going to work out great for everyone involved.

TWEET OF THE WEEK

Twitter took a brief break last week from spewing hate with a trend of having people "just tweet about things they actually know something about" which yielded information ranging from why elevators ding once going up but twice going down and the fact that Gene Hackman turned-down the role of Mike Brady to star in some movie called The French Connection. 

It was fun but the following hit closest to home for me and I could add about 20 other things people with ADHD shouldn't save for the following morning like picking out their clothes, planning their route and eating. 

How about everyone today just tweet about things they actually know something about:

ADHD: saying you’ll get gas in the morning before work is not a good idea.

— Jameylou Who (@cctmom) April 1, 2024

GOLF ANALYSIS

Well there's no other way to say it. My picks really suck these days. If it wasn't for Taylor Moore finishing top 20, the week would've been a complete bust as Will Zalatoris indicated that his missed cut at The Players may have been more of a sign than a fluke. The ONLY saving grace was that I resisted the urge to pick Scottie Scheffler which definitely would've have sent me into the abyss in search of answers after that missed putt on the 72nd hole.

In an effort to add some structure to this runaway shit show, I'm laying-out the recommendations as clearly as possible. Now if I can only remember to wager on them before the ADHD kicks . . . wait, shit, did I book a tee time for Friday yet?  

Byeong Hun An	Top 5	+700
Christian Bezuidenhout	Top 5	+900
Matt Kuchar	Top 20	+400
Andrew Novak	Top 20	+400
J.J. Spaun	Top 30	+300
Kevin Chappell	Top 40	+350

Oh and I'm naming Corey Conners as my one and done pick because that's what you should do but I'm planning to go a bit rogue with either Brian Harman or Christian Bezuidnehout.  

One and Done Pick: Corey Conners

This is young Christian in a state
of absolute glee. I think that level
of impassivity will serve us well.

Other Guy I'd Pick: Chris Bezuidenhout

Sleeper Pick: Matt Kuchar

DraftKings Top Ten Values

Max Homa	$9,900
Corey Conners	$9,400
Byeong Hun An	$9,000
Brian Harman	$8,600
Russell Henley	$8,200
C. Bezuidenhout	$7,900
Beau Hossler	$7,500
Matt Kuchar	$6,700
Andrew Novak	$6,500
J.J. Spaun	$6,300

"Who in the fuck is Joe Flaherty?" you might ask. Well he's that random weird funny dude from SCTV who showed-up for like five minutes in movies like Used Cars and Who's Harry Crumb. For our purposes here, however, he is credited as the "Jeering Fan" from Happy Gilmore. RIP Joe. Thanks for the intermittent yet reliable laughs.  

                                         THE JOE FLAHERTY MEMORIAL

                                      HISTORICAL PERFORMANCE CHART

It's almost an inverted chart this week with guys like Ryan Moore, Charley Hoffman and Kevin Streelman accounting for a bunch of top tens and, in Hoffman's case, a couple runner-ups. He may be worth a flyer if you think he can recreate the Scottsdale magic. 

	DK Price	2023	2022	2021	2019	2018
Rory McIlroy	$12,300	DNP	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP
Hideki Matsuyama	$10,600	T15	W/D	T30	DNP	MC
Ludvig Aberg	$10,500	DNP	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP
Collin Morikawa	$10,100	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Max Homa	$9,900	DNP	DNP	DNP	T42	DNP
Matt Fitzpatrick	$9,700	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Jordan Spieth	$9,500	DNP	T35	1st	T30	DNP
Corey Conners	$9,400	1st	T35	T14	1st	T26
Tommy Fleetwood	$9,200	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Byeong-Hun An	$9,000	T6	DNP	MC	T7	DNP
Billy Horschel	$8,900	DNP	DNP	DNP	MC	T11
Alex Noren	$8,700	T15	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Brian Harman	$8,600	DNP	DNP	DNP	MC	DNP
Adam Scott	$8,500	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	MC
Harris English	$8,300	DNP	DNP	DNP	MC	T36
Russell Henley	$8,200	DNP	DNP	DNP	T52	DNP
Tom Kim	$8,100	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Rickie Fowler	$8,000	T10	MC	T17	T17	DNP
C. Bezuidnehout	$7,900	T28	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Aaron Rai	$7,800	T28	T29	DNP	DNP	DNP
Akshay Bhatia	$7,700	T46	DNP	MC	DNP	DNP
Eric Cole	$7,600	T39	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Keith Mitchell	$7,600	DNP	DNP	T17	DNP	T26
Beau Hossler	$7,500	T46	T4	T69	T36	T51
Denny McCarthy	$7,500	DNP	T18	T34	MC	T20
Erik Van Rooyen	$7,400	MC	DNP	T14	DNP	DNP
Maverick McNealy	$7,400	DNP	T35	DNP	DNP	DNP
Lucas Glover	$7,300	45th	T18	4th	T14	DNP
Nicolai Hojgaard	$7,300	T28	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Andrew Putnam	$7,200	T28	T41	MC	T36	T8
Austin Eckroat	$7,200	MC	DNP	MC	DNP	DNP
Brendon Todd	$7,100	T53	T8	DNP	DNP	DNP
Victor Perez	$7,100	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Mark Hubbard	$7,000	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Sam Ryder	$7,000	T3	DNP	MC	T42	T36
Adam Schenk	$6,900	MC	MC	MC	T7	T58
Doug Ghim	$6,900	MC	MC	T44	DNP	DNP
Davis Riley	$6,800	W/D	T63	DNP	DNP	DNP
K.H. Lee	$6,800	DNP	MC	T23	T14	DNP
Patrick Rodgers	$6,800	5th	T58	MC	DNP	MC
Davis Thompson	$6,700	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Lee Hodges	$6,700	T6	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP
Matt Kuchar	$6,700	T3	T2	T12	T7	T51
Taylor Montgomery	$6,700	T22	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Ben Griffin	$6,600	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Andrew Novak	$6,500	9th	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP
Ryan Moore	$6,500	MC	DNP	76th	3rd	7th
Bud Cauley	$6,400	DNP	DNP	DNP	MC	DNP
Charley Hoffman	$6,400	T22	MC	2nd	2nd	T64
J.J. Spaun	$6,300	T22	1st	MC	MC	T26
Matti Schmid	$6,300	T46	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Nate Lashley	$6,200	MC	T18	MC	DNP	MC
Martin Laird	$6,100	MC	T29	T30	T36	T11
Ryan Palmer	$5,800	MC	T48	T17	MC	MC
Sam Stevens	$5,800	2nd	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Kevin Streelman	$5,600	T46	T18	DNP	6th	T8
Robby Shelton	$5,500	T15	DNP	MC	DNP	DNP
Kevin Chappell	$5,400	T39	T18	MC	DNP	T30
Lanto Griffin	$5,400	T15	T53	T34	DNP	DNP
Nick Hardy	$5,400	T28	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP
Jimmy Walker	$5,100	T22	MC	T59	T30	4th

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