Well we have some good news on the real golf game front. Last Tuesday morning I shed some of my disgust and was able to finish the round with five straight pars. Then on Friday afternoon I picked-up that momentum with ten more in my first eleven holes before getting the inevitable kick in the nuts of reality and bogeying five of the last seven. There are still no birdies and many of those pars required grinding five footers but I can honestly say I had fun even though I'm sure my outward appearance was more indicative of a Novocain free root canal. On a related note, I am officially staking my claim to the term "Resting Asshole Face" (RAF).
When I haven't been playing mediocre to bad golf lately, I've been playing mediocre to bad lacrosse. Since I had the revelation to start again a couple of years ago, my hamstrings have taken on the roles of the two old curmudgeonly Muppets in the balcony mocking and hindering my efforts literally every step of the way. When I wouldn't listen to them, they convinced three of my ribs and a bone in my hand to break themselves as part of their negative campaign. I have to admit they've been pretty convincing.
I, however, remain undaunted in the face of mounting criticism from friends, family and any objective measure of reason. In fact, I am more committed than ever to being carried off the field on my shield as evidenced by my decision last week to run full speed into an opposing player who was 50% bigger, faster and younger than I am. The inevitable result found me flat on the turf with one of my own teammates landing on top of me (because of course) and the type of immediate pain in my shoulder that says to men my age, "I hope you have someone who can help you put a shirt on."
Fortunately, I dodged that bullet as I can still swing a golf club and dress myself relatively pain free but it still feels like someone is shooting me with a nail gun when I try to do other normal activities like opening a jar of peanut butter and scratching my head in befuddlement (which is how I spend a good part of my time these days). Then again, as Viggo Mortensen explained in one of the greatest movies of all-time . . . "Pain is your friend, your
ally, it will tell you when you are seriously injured, it will keep you awake
and angry, and remind you to finish the job and get the hell home. But you know
the best thing about pain? . . . It let’s you know you’re not dead yet!" (Hint: It wasn't The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers).
TWEET OF THE WEEK
You still can't embed a Tweet on the new Blogger the way you could on the old one. I think what Google fails to understand when they change shit like this is that everything many of us know about computers we learned from standing in a 7-11 and feeding quarters into a machine that was bigger than an NFL linebacker just so we could write "FUK" on the top ten scores.
Anyway, Clay Davis is undefeated.
GOLF ANALYSIS FOR THE EASILY IMPRESSED
We have an all-star limited field this week playing a really exclusive golf course that 99.9999999% of the world will only get to see on TV so it's basically like the Masters just on a course owned by an openly skeevy guy as a opposed to a course owned by bunch of less obvious skeevy guys. The other difference is that no one will remember who won this tournament in three weeks so we're going to use that as part of the foundation for our analysis because there are some guys who definitely play better when legacy is on the line and some guys who play about the same regardless of what's at stake.
For example, Xander Schauffele clearly gets more geared-up for majors and other tournaments with a higher prestige factor like the Tour Championship and WGC events. So is he going to be super motivated to win this week? I don't think so. The same goes for Rory McIlroy and Brooks Koepka who has the added negative of just coming back from injury. At least part of those guys has to be looking ahead to mid-November.
Who is going to bring it this week? Well the obvious picks to me are Justin Thomas, Jon Rahm, Matthew Wolff, Patrick Cantlay and Paul Casey. Nothing against any of those guys but they have top ten in the world talent with one major win between them. I can't pick them all so Rahm is out because J.T. is better value and Wolff is out based on the barely credible "hard to contend in back to back weeks" theory.
If you're like me at this point and still competing in a 2020 one and done season, you've already picked most of the obvious guys so it's time to get creative. To that end, I am completely torn between Tommy Fleetwood and Viktor Hovland. Fleetwood is due for a PGA Tour win and this is apparently a ball striker's course. Hovland is due for a somewhat more prestigious win than his Puerto Rico Open title (no offense) and he is every bit the ball striker that Fleetwood is. Oh the dilemma. I currently have Fleetwood in there but I'm leaning towards Hovland. I'll keep you posted as this develops throughout the day.
For the value plays I'm going with Corey Connors and Marc Leishman. Connors is a complete hunch and it's been a while since I've fallen for the fool's gold that is Leishman but, at $6,800 I can't help myself. I'm pretty sure he's let me down more than the cable company and one day I'm finally going to cut the cord. Today, however, is not that day.
One and Done Pick: Tommy Fleetwood
 |
| If only I could pick Ted Striker, life would be so much simpler. |
Other Guy I'd Pick: Justin Thomas
Sleeper Pick: Marc Leishman
DraftKings Top Ten Values
|
Justin Thomas |
$10,800 |
|
Patrick Cantlay |
$9,800 |
|
Tommy Fleetwood |
$9,100 |
|
Viktor Hovland |
$9,000 |
|
Sergio Garcia |
$8,400 |
|
Paul Casey |
$8,000 |
|
Brendon Todd |
$7,900 |
|
Billy Horschel |
$7,200 |
|
Corey Connors |
$6,900 |
|
Marc Leishman |
$6,800 |
Email the Fantasy Golf Report at fgr@fantasygolfreport.com.
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