If you find yourself becoming bored with the pandemic and want to feel normal compared to some of your fellow citizens, I would highly recommend joining a Facebook group for parents of incoming freshmen at a relatively large university located in a city that has been a COVID-19 hot spot from day one. Here are actual examples along with the answers that I'm not allowed to post as part of an informal plea agreement I made about being easier to get along with or something:
Anyway, this website is supposed to be about golf so let's get on to that. But first, this . . .- Does anyone know of a local company that does charcuterie boxes for pickup and/or delivery? (Have you considered just having it flown in from Marseille?)
- This is probably a stupid question . . . (then don't ask it)
- Does anyone know what I can send locally to my daughter for her birthday on Monday? (Your Facebook password and a bottle of Xanax)
- Can someone recommend a great place for a facial? (Yes. There's an amazing spa three blocks from campus called "The Tone Deaf Lotus")
- Polished off a bottle of Rose’ before posting. I’ll soon be crying and eventually pass-out but for now feeling calm. (Please text me your number so we can hangout during parents' weekend).
Other contenders for best answer to the following Twitter question were "being bilingual" and "getting free stuff" but this one took the cake.
GOLF ANALYSIS FROM THE RECENTLY CREDIBLE
Last week was almost truly magical as I recommended Tony Finau, Charles Howell, III, Max Homa and Richy Werenski, all of whom tied for 3rd. Those picks were buttressed (I have all the best words) by Harris English and Dylan Frittelli (T18), Pat Perez (T23), Patrick Rodgers (T32) and Stewart Cink (T46). Of course my old nemesis Paul Casey missed the cut just to spite me because I tend to harp on the fact that he can't win despite having top ten in the world talent. Come on Pauly. What's it going to take to light your fire?!?!
We don't need him this week as we have a plethora of great options. I am still not letting go of my belief that Justin Thomas is the best player in the world so I'm all in on him at TPC Southwind. And then I'm backing him up with two of the most reliable guys on Tour in Webb Simpson and Collin Morikawa. I honestly don't know if I've ever felt better about my top three picks (uh oh . . . RUN!!!).
To temper some of that enthusiasm, let's go with the contemptible Patrick Reed in the 4th spot and the mercurial Billy Horschel playing the 5. From there I'm playing it a bit safe with Marc Leishman and Ian Poulter followed by Kevin Kisner because this feels like one of those weeks when Kis gets a hair up his ass and either wins or throws a high finish at us. He is currently the undisputed king of the sneak attack top five and, as someone who's scoring has been fluctuating by ten strokes from round to round lately, I can relate.
Rafa is probably a mistake because he always seems to underperform on courses where he has performed well in the past which seems impossible but it's true. If you share my lack of confidence, take a look at Chez Reavie or Shane Lowry in that price range instead.
And then there's Phil with his sparkling past record at TPC Southwind including two runner-up finishes since 2013. I know the course has changed but we're due for Phil to make some noise and a big time tournament with an "A" list field at a place where he's had past success seems like the logical place for him to put it together. Also, there's no cut so we shouldn't be at risk of him fucking around with a new swing or multiple drivers for a couple of days and then jetting-off to California for the PGA Championship. Not saying he won't do that anyway, but at least it's less likely this week.
One and Done Pick: Justin Thomas
Last week was almost truly magical as I recommended Tony Finau, Charles Howell, III, Max Homa and Richy Werenski, all of whom tied for 3rd. Those picks were buttressed (I have all the best words) by Harris English and Dylan Frittelli (T18), Pat Perez (T23), Patrick Rodgers (T32) and Stewart Cink (T46). Of course my old nemesis Paul Casey missed the cut just to spite me because I tend to harp on the fact that he can't win despite having top ten in the world talent. Come on Pauly. What's it going to take to light your fire?!?!
We don't need him this week as we have a plethora of great options. I am still not letting go of my belief that Justin Thomas is the best player in the world so I'm all in on him at TPC Southwind. And then I'm backing him up with two of the most reliable guys on Tour in Webb Simpson and Collin Morikawa. I honestly don't know if I've ever felt better about my top three picks (uh oh . . . RUN!!!).
To temper some of that enthusiasm, let's go with the contemptible Patrick Reed in the 4th spot and the mercurial Billy Horschel playing the 5. From there I'm playing it a bit safe with Marc Leishman and Ian Poulter followed by Kevin Kisner because this feels like one of those weeks when Kis gets a hair up his ass and either wins or throws a high finish at us. He is currently the undisputed king of the sneak attack top five and, as someone who's scoring has been fluctuating by ten strokes from round to round lately, I can relate.
Rafa is probably a mistake because he always seems to underperform on courses where he has performed well in the past which seems impossible but it's true. If you share my lack of confidence, take a look at Chez Reavie or Shane Lowry in that price range instead.
And then there's Phil with his sparkling past record at TPC Southwind including two runner-up finishes since 2013. I know the course has changed but we're due for Phil to make some noise and a big time tournament with an "A" list field at a place where he's had past success seems like the logical place for him to put it together. Also, there's no cut so we shouldn't be at risk of him fucking around with a new swing or multiple drivers for a couple of days and then jetting-off to California for the PGA Championship. Not saying he won't do that anyway, but at least it's less likely this week.
 |
| It's been a long year for sports fans. We deserve this in contention on Sunday. |
Other Guy I'd Pick: Webb Simpson
Sleeper Pick: Phil Mickelson
DraftKings Top Ten Values
Justin Thomas
|
$10,700
|
Webb Simpson
|
$9,900
|
Collin Morikawa
|
$9,500
|
Patrick Reed
|
$8,800
|
Billy Horschel
|
$8,500
|
Marc Leishman
|
$7,700
|
Ian Poulter
|
$7,400
|
Kevin Kisner
|
$7,000
|
Rafa Cabrera-Bello
|
$6,900
|
Phil Mickelson
|
$6,600
|
It was hard to ignore Rahm, Rory and DeChambeau but you can't pick all of the favorites (unless you're PGATour.com). Taking any of those guys plus Patrick Cantlay and Xander Schauffele wouldn't make you a bad person (well maybe DeChambeau). Koepka and DJ were also tough to pass-up but it feels like they're gearing-up for next week and might just go through the motions in Memphis if they even bother to stick around until Sunday. Remember that all of these pre-2019 results are from the FedEx St. Jude Classic so adjust your calibrations accordingly.
THE DON'T KNOCK DEMON SEX UNTIL YOU'VE TRIED IT
HISTORICAL PERFORMANCE CHART
THE DON'T KNOCK DEMON SEX UNTIL YOU'VE TRIED IT
HISTORICAL PERFORMANCE CHART
DK PRICE
|
2019
|
2018
|
2017
|
2016
|
2015
|
|
Jon Rahm
|
$11,400
|
7th
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Rory McIlroy
|
$11,200
|
T4
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Bryson DeChambeau
|
$11,000
|
T48
|
DNP
|
MC
|
DNP
|
T45
|
Justin Thomas
|
$10,700
|
T12
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Patrick Cantlay
|
$10,100
|
T12
|
DNP
|
MC
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Webb Simpson
|
$9,900
|
2nd
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
MC
|
Xander Schauffele
|
$9,800
|
T27
|
DNP
|
T52
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Tyrrell Hatton
|
$9,700
|
T43
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Daniel Berger
|
$9,600
|
DNP
|
MC
|
1st
|
1st
|
DNP
|
Collin Morikawa
|
$9,500
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Viktor Hovland
|
$9,400
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Dustin Johnson
|
$9,300
|
T20
|
1st
|
DNP
|
5th
|
W/D
|
Brooks Koepka
|
$9,200
|
1st
|
T30
|
T37
|
T2
|
T3
|
Tony Finau
|
$9,100
|
T27
|
MC
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Matthew Fitzpatrick
|
$9,000
|
T4
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Hideki Matsuyama
|
$8,900
|
T43
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Patrick Reed
|
$8,800
|
T12
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Tommy Fleetwood
|
$8,700
|
T4
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Gary Woodland
|
$8,600
|
T55
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
MC
|
DNP
|
Billy Horschel
|
$8,500
|
T9
|
T51
|
T4
|
DNP
|
T8
|
Abraham Ancer
|
$8,400
|
DNP
|
MC
|
DNP
|
T18
|
DNP
|
Rickie Fowler
|
$8,300
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
MC
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Jason Day
|
$8,200
|
T40
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Jordan Spieth
|
$8,100
|
T12
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Sergio Garcia
|
$8,000
|
T40
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Matthew Wolff
|
$7,900
|
T24
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Paul Casey
|
$7,800
|
T27
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Marc Leishman
|
$7,700
|
3rd
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Henrik Stenson
|
$7,600
|
T27
|
T26
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Matt Kuchar
|
$7,600
|
T43
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Kevin Na
|
$7,500
|
T43
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Sungjae Im
|
$7,500
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Ian Poulter
|
$7,400
|
8th
|
DNP
|
T31
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Joaquin Niemann
|
$7,400
|
DNP
|
MC
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Corey Connors
|
$7,300
|
DNP
|
68th
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
MC
|
Scottie Scheffler
|
$7,300
|
DNP
|
T43
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Adam Hadwin
|
$7,200
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Max Homa
|
$7,200
|
T61
|
DNP
|
MC
|
DNP
|
66th
|
Bubba Watson
|
$7,100
|
T9
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Danny Willet
|
$7,100
|
T43
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Kevin Kisner
|
$7,000
|
T27
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Michael Thompson
|
$7,000
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
T60
|
MC
|
T3
|
Kevin Streelman
|
$6,900
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Rafa Cabrera-Bello
|
$6,900
|
T12
|
DNP
|
T4
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Christiaan Bez …
|
$6,800
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Erik Van Rooyen
|
$6,800
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Louis Oosthuizen
|
$6,800
|
T20
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Chez Reavie
|
$6,700
|
T27
|
DNP
|
T4
|
DNP
|
T12
|
Ryan Palmer
|
$6,700
|
DNP
|
T51
|
MC
|
DNP
|
T22
|
Brendon Todd
|
$6,600
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Phil Mickelson
|
$6,600
|
57th
|
DNP
|
9th
|
T2
|
T3
|
Shane Lowry
|
$6,600
|
DNP
|
T30
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Byeon Hun An
|
$6,500
|
DNP
|
MC
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
DNP
|
Email the Fantasy Golf Report at fgr@fantasygolfreport.com.
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