Tuesday, June 25, 2019

Fantasy Golf: Rocket Mortgage Classic Preview

For those golf fans who don't think that they're familiar with Rocket Mortgage, allow me to jog your memory . . . "WHAT DOES PMI EVEN MEAN RICK?!?!" Ha. Gets me every time. I love jokes about bank fees that increase the likelihood that you're fail to pay-off your mortgage and then protect the bank if you do. Hey, tell me the one about non-judicial foreclosures . . . no no stop it . . . you're killing me.   


Turn the volume up if you want to hear the familiar sound of every golf dork over-selling the enthusiasm for a nice shot hit by a woman. Good lord dude. Take-off the VR goggles and step into the light of day.

As far as I can tell, they've never played a PGA event at Detroit Golf Club before as Wikipedia only references the 1992 U.S. Mid-Amateur and then a series of club events including the Men's Golf League, the Men's Ringer Board, The Whistler and The Hummer. Not to be outdone, the ladies have their Girl's Night Out, the Women's Corkscrew Opener and the Four Girl Team. Sounds like a real swinging time up in Motor City if you know what I mean. And I think you do (wink, wink, nudge, nudge . . .).

What does all of this mean for us? A lot of fucking guess work that's what. We basically have no idea if this is a Chez Reavie/Kevin Streelman course or a Dustin Johnson/Gary Woodland course. Rickie Fowler would be the logical pick because his sponsor is hosting but that may be too much pressure for a guy who in three years has fallen from being considered part of the new "Big Three" (despite never winning a major) to now being on the edge of "The Big Fifteen" with fine players like Paul Casey and Tony Finau.  

So with all of that in mind, let's just pick the guys who are playing well or reasonably well and also Patrick Reed because you know he's lurking right there below the surface like some three-eyed partially evolved reptile. Don't worry that you've never heard of some of these people because frankly neither have I. Just trust the fact that it's going to be one of those tournaments that will knock you out on Sunday afternoon like four shots of bourbon and an Ambien and pray that your kids GRANT YOU THAT ONE HOUR OF PEACE RICK!!!   

"As I lifted Tina's drunken and almost lifeless body
off the third green during the Corkscrew Opener I
thought, "I will marry this girl . . . if she makes it."
One and Done Pick: Joaquin Niemann

Other Guy I'd Pick: Hideki Matsuyama

Sleeper Pick: Sam Burns

DraftKings Top Ten Values

Hideki Matsuyama
Ryan Moore
Patrick Reed
Joaquin Niemann
Viktor Hovland
Jason Dufner
Nick Watney
Danny Lee
Zack Sucher
Sam Burns

Email the Fantasy Golf Report at fgr@fantasygolfreport.com

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