|"I'm gonna put my nutsack
on your playbook!"
Green Bay by 6 over Detroit: The Pick - Packers
I have Aaron Rodgers, Calvin Johnson and Fred Jackson on a fantasy team ("Jerkstore Country") and I'm inexplicably 5-6. Now the charts for Johnson and Jackson's points are mirroring the Dow Jones Industrial Average for 2008, Jackson's banged-up and I need two wins and some help. (Fortunately, I also have Johnson and Jackson on another team that's 11-0 but shhhhhhh). This frustrating season has taught me one valuable lesson. When you have a wide receiver score 11 touchdowns in his first eight games, TRADE HIM because, unless his last name is Moss or Rice, his upside for the rest of the year is 4 more at the most. (I wrote this right before I traded him last night in a desperate and probably futile attempt to save Jerkstore Country's season).
|"Anything else you want to
get off your chest Brett?"
Dallas by 7 over Miami: The Pick - Dolphins
Dolphins' coach Tony Sparano coached Tony Romo for two years in Dallas so if anyone knows how to confuse Romo (and it's apparently not the league's biggest secret), it's Sparano. Now factor in that the Cowboys have won four of their last five (which is way too much prosperity) and that the Dolphins have been rolling people lately, and I'm going to take the points with a word of caution. I wouldn't bet more than a cup of warm turkey fat on a game where Tony Romo and a "hot" Matt Moore are playing quarterback.
Baltimore by 3 over San Francisco: The Pick - Ravens
|"Hey, great game J....KAPOW"
So why Baltimore? I just can't believe that (1) Alex Smith is going to come into Baltimore and win a night game (see Mark Sanchez) in front of an inebriated angry crowd that just spent the whole day listening to Uncle Louie blame their entire lazy generation for the closing of the mill (or plant, quarry or factory), (2) Ray Lewis is going to miss a chance to be miked up and over the top on national television, and (3) John Harbaugh is going to let his punk brother get the best of him. Like T-Sizzle, I too am looking forward to the post-game handshake. I just hope it's accompanied by a mildly condescending and not the least bit heart felt expression of good will by John along the lines of "great game, tell your guys they have nothing to be ashamed of because no one beats us here." And then of course I hope they drop the gloves right in the middle of the field like Carl Racki and Dean Youngblood with the players forming a perimeter and yelling, "this is their fight!"