Last week we handed-out the Oscars. This week will be the FGR’s answer to the Razzies (the awards for worst movies and performances of the year soon to be renamed “The Annistons”) for some of the more dubious golfing accomplishments in 2011. We need a name for these along the lines of the "Dundies" so email your suggestions to firstname.lastname@example.org or tweet them to @FantasyGolfRep. And the winners are:
Most Disappointing Season: Phil Mickelson
I can hear Mickelson’s defiant cry, “but I made over $3.7M, won a tournament and finished second at a major.” Sorry Phil, it’s what you didn’t do with the door still wide open from Tiger’s demise. T27 at the Masters, T54 at the U.S. Open and T19 at the PGA on a course tailor made for your game. Then your best finishes in the playoffs were a T10 and a 10th at the Tour Championship on another course you’ve owned.
|"You do realize that you sound like|
Mayor Quimby from The Simpsons."
Worst Shot by a Guy Not Named Mickelson: Dustin Johnson’s Second Shot on 14 on Sunday at the British Open
|"Oh the humanity."|
The thing that separates Johnson’s shot at Royal St. George’s is that it was doomed before he hit. In other words, it was Mickelsonesque. He was standing in the middle of the par 5 fairway down by two shots and 250 yards from the hole. If he was going to go for it, 3-wood was the club because it was into the wind and playing more like 280. The other option would presumably have been an 8-iron layup to about 100 yards for his third. Instead, Johnson went with the “I’ll kind of go for it but maybe I should layup” shot and hit 2-iron. The result was a half-assed swing into the wind which went out of bounds and led to a double bogey. Couple that with Mickelson climbing aboard the back nine bogey train and suddenly Darren Clarke had a Sunday lead in a major so big that not even he could blow it.
Biggest Meltdown: Jason Duffner at the PGA Championship
My definition of a meltdown is when a player puts himself in a position where all he has to do is play below average golf to win, and he blows it anyway. This lets Rory McIlroy off the hook for the Masters because, assuming that all of the other players would have shot the scores that they did, McIlroy would have needed a 69 to beat Charl Schwartzel. (This year’s Masters may have actually been one of the greatest collective clutch performances of all time as the six players who finished T4 or better shot between -3 and -6 on Sunday and the winner birdied the last four holes. Is it a coincidence that Tiger was in the middle of it shooting 67 and posting 10 under early? Nope. Love him or hate him but Tiger raises everyone's game. Kind of like Magic Johnson....or, come to think of it, a lot like Magic Johnson. Someone needs to explore the connection between athletes with fake first names and sex addiction).
|"Do you smell that?"|
The Christophe Angiolini Caddie of the Year Award: Steve Williams
This one is for Terry and the rest of the pro jocks at Alpine Country Club in New Jersey and is named after Jean Van de Velde’s caddy for the 1999 British Open to honour the most significant contribution by a caddie – either good or bad. I wanted to give this to Thomas Levet’s caddie who could have saved his player’s trip to the British Open by simply saying, “don’t jump in there Thomas, looks pretty shallow” but after fifteen minutes of searching, I couldn’t find his name so I’ll go with the only caddie this year who won more tournaments than Matt Kuchar, Jason Day and Hunter Mahan combined. I would have called this the “Stevie Williams Caddie of the Year Award” but I didn’t want to make his ego any bigger for fear it might start affecting the tides.
The Maverick and Goose Award: Robert Garrigus
In honor of the one of the greatest movie scenes of all time when Stinger tells Maverick and Goose that Cougar has turned in his wings giving them a shot at Top Gun, we give this one to Robert Garrigus who made it into the British Open thanks to Levet's ill fated leap. (I finally watched the video of this and Levet struggling to get out of the pond while trying to smile away his cracked shin is priceless. He was clearly standing in the water thinking, "if I wait long enough, maybe everyone will just leave." - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQm7404m31c).
|"He's got a bloody can |
of Glade up his ass."