That process then continues for about six weeks of Zoom calls and Teams meetings where the same questions are repeated over and over and over again until you finally have your Colonel Jessup moment and half-jokingly announce on a call with no less than twelve lawyers on it that, "it doesn't matter how many times you guys ask me this question, the answer ain't changing." For you budding young comics out there, I will warn you that making a joke to a bunch of Wall Street lawyers on a due diligence call is not a momentum builder. Especially when most of them are on mute.
The red wine flowed throughout the process and got me into trouble a couple of times but it looks like everything is going to workout. Not just that, it appears the universe will be handing the FGR a treasure trove of writing material as we go big corporate in 2026. Good thing we don't come with a warning label.
GOLF ANALYSIS
There's really no point in overthinking this one but we're going to anyway. Scottie Scheffler has played this event four times and his average finish is halfway between first and second place. Last year he won by six beating last place finishers Jason Day and Russell Henley by 26 shots in the process. If you want to see what that would look like as depicted by one of the fastest women of all-time running in a parents' race at her kid's school, click here.
Scottie's odds to win this week are +140 and, even against this small field, that's no fun so let's look elsewhere for some intrigue. Cameron Young is coming off his first winning season and he was the lone bright spot for the U.S. Ryder Cup debacle. At +1200 against nineteen other players, he looks like a pretty sweet deal but not quite as sweet as Chris Gotterup at +2200. The Maryland Eastern Shore native has proven that, like the true lax bro that he is, he can run with the best after winning the 2025 Scottish Open and finishing 3rd at the British Open. Get him a Maryland flag golf shirt, a sponsorship from STX and a mullet and we're talking multiple majors next season.
Akshay Bhatia and Sepp Straka round-out our betting favorites as they have shown a fondness for Albany Golf Course and god only knows we put way too much stock in that metric around here. Everything went to hell when we started color-coding the damn chart.
|
Place |
Player |
Odds |
|
Winner |
Cameron Young |
+1200 |
|
Winner |
Chris Gotterup |
+2200 |
|
Top 5 |
Akshay Bhatia |
+260 |
|
Top 5 |
Sepp Straka |
+275 |
DraftKings All Value Team
We did the math and this is one of the few DraftKings teams that works with Scheffler in the line-up. As noted above, we also like Straka, Bhatia and Gotterup so we went with them, a Canadian and a southern guy. Not sure they have much in common but that will just force them to stop fucking around and focus on the golf.
 |
| Looks pretty inviting for a public track. Just need to plunk down $3,500 for a night in a villa. |
|
Scottie
Scheffler |
$14,900 |
|
Sepp
Straka |
$7,700 |
|
Akshay
Bhatia |
$7,400 |
|
Chris
Gotterup |
$7,100 |
|
Corey
Conners |
$6,800 |
|
Andrew
Novak |
$6,000 |
This week's chart honors the devout and prayerful Lane Kiffin who has come a long way since he was briefly head coach #7 in the Raiders' recent run of 17 over 30 years. Clearly God marked a path for him that involved fucking over thousands of people along the way. Thus be the Gospel of Lane.
THE LANE KIFFIN LEGACY OF FAITH
HISTORICAL PERFORMANCE CHART
Not a lot of big names making the trip to The Bahamas this year. Instead we have a veritable who's who of one-time major winners from the recent in J.J. Spaun and Wyndham Clark to the past with Keegan Bradley and Justin Rose. Throw-in Hideki Matsuyama and Brian Harman to make a nice little themed DraftKings team that will absolutely lose you five bucks.
|
|
DK Price |
2024 |
2023 |
2022 |
2021 |
2019 |
|
Scottie
Scheffler |
$14,900 |
1st |
1st |
2nd |
2nd |
DNP |
|
Robert
MacIntyre |
$9,800 |
7th |
DNP |
DNP |
DNP |
DNP |
|
J.J.
Spaun |
$9,500 |
DNP |
DNP |
DNP |
DNP |
DNP |
|
Cameron
Young |
$9,200 |
13th |
15th |
3rd |
DNP |
DNP |
|
Sam
Burns |
$8,900 |
T14 |
16th |
12th |
T3 |
DNP |
|
Keegan
Bradley |
$8,700 |
5th |
T13 |
DNP |
DNP |
DNP |
|
Aaron
Rai |
$8,400 |
T14 |
DNP |
DNP |
DNP |
DNP |
|
Hideki
Matsuyama |
$8,200 |
DNP |
DNP |
DNP |
DNP |
DNP |
|
Justin
Rose |
$8,000 |
DNP |
T8 |
DNP |
T9 |
T5 |
|
Alex
Noren |
$7,800 |
DNP |
DNP |
DNP |
DNP |
DNP |
|
Sepp
Straka |
$7,700 |
T9 |
2nd |
T10 |
DNP |
DNP |
|
Jordan
Spieth |
$7,500 |
DNP |
6th |
15th |
20th |
16th |
|
Akshay
Bhatia |
$7,400 |
4th |
DNP |
DNP |
DNP |
DNP |
|
Harris
English |
$7,300 |
DNP |
DNP |
DNP |
T14 |
DNP |
|
Chris
Gotterup |
$7,100 |
DNP |
DNP |
DNP |
DNP |
DNP |
|
Corey
Conners |
$6,800 |
DNP |
DNP |
16th |
DNP |
DNP |
|
Billy
Horschel |
$6,500 |
DNP |
DNP |
T13 |
DNP |
DNP |
|
Brian
Harman |
$6,400 |
12th |
T8 |
DNP |
DNP |
DNP |
|
Wyndham
Clark |
$6,200 |
T17 |
19th |
DNP |
DNP |
DNP |
|
Andrew
Novak |
$6,000 |
DNP |
DNP |
DNP |
DNP |
DNP |
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