Fantasy Golf: FedEx St. Jude Championship Preview

I flew to Georgia last weekend so my daughter could measure herself against other girls vying for a spot in a Division 1 soccer program. Fortunately, they don't do it exclusively by height. Anyway, I learned a few things along the way:

• Traffic in Atlanta and that logistical dumpster fire they call an airport should be avoided at all costs like Caribbean cruise ship vacations and Jason Aldean fans. Shout-out to the loud abrasive 60 something couple wearing his concert shirts on the flight down. We appreciate the warning labels. 

• Unhinged street preachers are still a thing and my daughter had never seen one. When we went to get some ice cream in Athens, we had a white hellfire and brimstone version on the way there and a spiritually uplifting black version on the way back. She asked me if they were together and I said "well, sort of." 

• Even when it's not super hot in Georgia, it's still really fucking hot. I found myself honestly debating whether you can call it "spontaneous combustion" if it's caused by you standing in the Georgia sun on August 6th. Would seem more like "self-inflicted combustion." 

And another thing. I know it's easy to think that we Americans have cornered the market on obnoxiousness but I would challenge anyone who believes that to spend two hours with the international crowd at The Club ATL on Concourse F. For those who haven't had the experience, The Club ATL is a place where you can pay $50 for a shower, open bar and a shitty buffet for three hours before your flight. Frankly under the circumstances I would've paid three times that. 

It's described on the website as a "modern and relaxing airport lounge." I will agree that it's modern in the sense that it's packed with people blabbing on their phones or watching Tik Tok videos on full volume but it's about as relaxing as the Bakaara Market in Black Hawk Down. Between the Swedish family with the hiking poles and annoying kids bumping everything in a ten foot radius with their backpacks, the Pakistani family having the a 25 minute FaceTime call with grandma and the Nigerian guy blasting ten second clips of what sounded like garage band guitar auditions, I looked more frazzled than one of the embassy workers on the runway in Tehran at the end of Argo. 

TWEET OF THE WEEK

The Baltimore Orioles have risen from the ashes to claim the best record in the American League and are generally regarded as the best young team in baseball. They have completely energized the city to the point where no one, and I mean no one, is talking about the Ravens less than five weeks before the season opener. As I write this, they're on a four game winning streak and have won eight of their last ten (editors note: "stop touching the money sir"). 

So as the owner of this juggernaut, what better way to capitalize on all of that goodwill than to suspend your best play-by-play announcer for making the observation that the team has won more games on the home field of its division rival this year than it has the last three years' combined . . . and in a tone that exuded optimism. It was a sharp reminder that this is the same organization that ran-off Jon Miller who, along with Vin Scully, is on the two-man list of all-time best baseball announcers. It also further cemented the belief that the team was handed to Charm City Joffrey and we're going to have to keep tolerating his fragile ego until that changes. 

But don't just take my word for it as Gary Cohen expresses the sentiment shared by nearly everyone much more eloquently and righteously than I could.     

Gary Cohen’s epic rant about the Orioles unfair suspension of announcer Kevin Brown: pic.twitter.com/WywS2Qhzvx

— Rob Piersall (@RTPiersall) August 8, 2023

GOLF ANALYSIS

At this point, it's clearly a tale of three seasons. I picked Jon Rahm to win in Hawaii which he did collecting $2,700,000 for his efforts. Then my next twenty-four picks combined to earn a whopping $4,523,920 and a third of that was Scottie Scheffler's $1,540,000 at the PGA Championship where I lost ground because everyone else picked Brooks Koepka without bothering to tell me. Now my last seven picks have earned $7,203,590 including two wins and Russell Henley's runner-up last weekend. And I feel cautiously optimistic about the remainder of the season. 

For starters, I still have Collin Morikawa available this week. It's been an off year for him but he did finished T5 here in 2022. Yes he missed the cut at the British Open but that could be a motivator to build on the runner-up he had at the Rocket Mortgage Classic. Right now we're seeing everything as a positive sign. 

The other option would be Matt Fitzpatrick. I don't like to place too much stock in past performance but when they're playing a dogshit course like this one where so few of the great players show any signs of consistency, you have to acknowledge a guy who's posted a T4, T5 and T6 in his last four starts. I know FedEx deserves a home game for sponsoring this thing but maybe we need to find a sugar daddy with a headquarters in a town near a decent golf course. Like say New York or Los Angeles?!?

The track record approach holds true for our sleepers Harris English and Andrew Putnam. In addition to his 4th place finish in 2021, English won on this course in 2013 while Putnam's record is even more impressive with a runner-up, T5 and T24 in his only three trips. Buy with confidence. 

One and Done Pick: Collin Morikawa

That shirt isn't my style. 
It's Collin's style (IYKYK).

Other Guy I'd Pick: Matt Fitzpatrick 

Sleeper Pick: Andrew Putnam

DraftKings Top Ten Values

Jon Rahm	$11,100
Rickie Fowler	$9,500
Collin Morikawa	$9,000
Tony Finau	$8,700
Matt Fitzpatrick	$8,600
Sam Burns	$8,100
Sepp Straka	$7,700
Cam Davis	$7,200
Harris English	$7,000
Andrew Putnam	$6,400

It's a shame that you only learn so much about legends like William Friedken when they die. I'm a complete movie dork and I never knew the same guy directed The French Connection, The Exorcist, To Live and Die in L.A. and Blue Chips. On top of that, he was an absolute Hollywood beast in the same vein as Robert Evans. Suffice it to say Killer Joe just moved to the top of my must watch list (I mean it's also got Matthew McConaughey and Gina Gershon in it . . . COME ON).  

                                        THE JIMMY "POPEYE" DOYLE

                                 HISTORICAL PERFORMANCE CHART

The LIV Golf effect is reflected in the ridiculous number of DNP's below but I guess soon we'll all be one big happy family again. Speaking of LIV, I randomly switched to it last weekend just in time to see Bryson DeChambeau standing on the 18th tee needing a par to shoot 59. Strangely, I found myself rooting for him to do it because I think 59's are cool. Then he made birdie and I wanted to barf. Always trust your gut. 

	DK Price	2022	2021	2020	2019	2018
Scottie Scheffler	$12,100	MC	14th	T15	DNP	T43
Rory McIlroy	$11,500	MC	T12	T47	T4	DNP
Jon Rahm	$11,100	T5	DNP	T52	7th	DNP
Viktor Hovland	$10,200	T20	T36	T59	DNP	DNP
Xander Schauffele	$10,000	T57	T46	T6	T27	DNP
Patrick Cantlay	$9,800	T57	T23	T35	T12	DNP
Tyrrell Hatton	$9,700	T31	T17	T69	T43	DNP
Rickie Fowler	$9,500	T64	DNP	T15	DNP	DNP
Jordan Spieth	$9,300	MC	T12	T30	T12	DNP
Tommy Fleetwood	$9,100	DNP	T46	T35	T4	DNP
Collin Morikawa	$9,000	T5	T26	T20	DNP	DNP
Jason Day	$8,900	MC	DNP	T6	T40	DNP
Max Homa	$8,800	T42	T51	T52	T61	DNP
Tony Finau	$8,700	T5	T34	T65	T27	MC
Matthew Fitzpatrick	$8,600	T5	T57	T6	T4	DNP
Wyndham Clark	$8,500	T28	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Hideki Matsuyama	$8,400	DNP	T2	T20	T43	DNP
Brian Harman	$8,300	T3	T36	DNP	DNP	DNP
Cameron Young	$8,200	T31	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Sam Burns	$8,100	T20	T2	DNP	DNP	DNP
Sungjae Im	$8,000	12th	T46	T35	DNP	DNP
Russell Henley	$7,800	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Tom Kim	$7,800	T13	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Keegan Bradley	$7,700	MC	DNP	T52	T61	DNP
Sepp Straka	$7,700	2nd	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP
Corey Conners	$7,600	T28	T36	T30	T27	68th
Sahith Theegala	$7,600	T13	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Byeong Hun An	$7,500	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	MC
Denny McCarthy	$7,500	T20	DNP	DNP	DNP	T18
Lucas Glover	$7,400	T3	T57	DNP	DNP	DNP
Si Woo Kim	$7,400	T42	65th	DNP	DNP	DNP
J.T. Poston	$7,300	T20	DNP	T30	DNP	T18
Stephan Jaeger	$7,300	T46	DNP	DNP	DNP	MC
Cameron Davis	$7,200	T13	60th	DNP	DNP	DNP
Justin Rose	$7,200	MC	T54	DNP	11th	DNP
Emiliano Grillo	$7,100	T31	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Keith Mitchell	$7,100	T31	DNP	DNP	39th	T37
Aaron Rai	$7,000	T51	T26	DNP	T12	DNP
Harris English	$7,000	DNP	4th	DNP	DNP	DNP
Taylor Moore	$7,000	T31	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Adam Hadwin	$6,900	69th	DNP	T72	DNP	DNP
Eric Cole	$6,900	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Thomas Detry	$6,900	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Adam Svensson	$6,800	T51	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Alex Smalley	$6,800	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Brendon Todd	$6,800	67th	DNP	T15	DNP	DNP
Chris Kirk	$6,800	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP	T6
Beau Hossler	$6,700	T57	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Vincent Norrman	$6,700	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
J.J. Spaun	$6,600	T42	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Mark Hubbard	$6,600	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Matt Kuchar	$6,600	MC	DNP	T25	T43	DNP
Lee Hodges	$6,500	T13	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Nick Hardy	$6,500	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Patrick Rodgers	$6,500	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Adam Schenk	$6,400	T31	DNP	DNP	DNP	MC
Andrew Putnam	$6,400	T5	DNP	DNP	T24	2nd
Kurt Kitayama	$6,400	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Sam Stevens	$6,300	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Seamus Power	$6,300	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP	T12
Tom Hoge	$6,300	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP	MC
Brandon Wu	$6,200	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Davis Riley	$6,200	T31	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Nick Taylor	$6,200	MC	DNP	T35	DNP	T30
Ben Griffin	$6,100	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Hayden Buckley	$6,100	T61	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Taylor Montgomery	$6,100	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Mackenzie Hughes	$6,000	T46	DNP	T44	DNP	MC
Matthew NeSmith	$6,000	MC	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP
Sam Ryder	$6,000	T51	MC	DNP	DNP	MC

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