After years of being the guy who would literally interrupt strangers at a bar to engage in some "friendly" impromptu discourse, I've been trying to follow a less combative path lately. Part of the motivation stems from sheer exhaustion but it really has more to do with accepting how fruitless it is to debate anything with almost anyone because facts have become such relics of a bygone era. Really what chance does recorded history have when confronted with a well-edited Instagram reel? I still have my occasional dust-ups but more often I now heed the advice of Mark Twain to "never argue with stupid people as they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”
This change of life approach has done wonders for my mental health and overall well-being. Less nights are spent dousing my frustration with red wine which means less mornings spent dousing my hangovers with angst and Alka-Seltzer. It would be a total win-win scenario if not for that voice from the recesses of my brain that keeps yelling, "BOOOORRRING . . . what in the hell are we supposed to write about now dickhead?"
It's a good question that I've spent the better part of the last week trying to answer as I grind away on what I thought would be an easy year end review post broken down into topics that each warrant nothing more than a couple quick digs. It is, however, proving to be tougher than I thought to summon my bitter spirit but we'll give it a shot and maybe add a little red wine to bolster the incantations.
Best FGR Pick: Davis Thompson at the John Deere Classic
Runner Up: Xander Schauffele at the PGA Championship
Both were victorious but anyone can pick a top five player in the world to win a major. The reason you put your faith in the FGR is for picks like Thompson who had never won before and looks like the dorky kid from an 80's movie but we recognized him for what he was about to become. A champion.
Worst Pick: Brooks Koepka at the U.S. Open
Runner Up: Max Homa at The Players
Barf |
I have no explanation for the Max Homa pick. Trying to recall if I had a hallucinatory seafood experience in March that would've impaired my decision making skills.
Best FGR Round: Senior Team Championship at Mount Pleasant
With no forewarning based on my shoddy play leading-up to it, I pulled a 75 out of my ass on a course I hadn't played in 20 years with two birdies. This despite the greens running at about 3 on the Stimpmeter. On the par three 17th, I made a 30 foot uphill birdie putt that I had to hit so hard that I almost dislocated my shoulder. Suffice it to say that we lost the match anyway . . . . womp womp.
Worst FGR Round: Senior Club Championship First Round
I shot 88 and this debacle was going to be a whole separate post but frankly I didn't want to remember it enough to write about it. Eddie Pepperell, stands by the theory that the best thing you can do to ease pressure on your golf game is to be fundamentally sound. That makes more sense to me now than ever after a round where, to paraphrase the principal from Billy Madison, "at no point during my awkward, out of balance and arrhythmic movements was I even close to anything that could be considered a viable golf swing."
It was over by the 4th hole. After playing the first three in a very shaky two over par, I hit a bad drive on the reachable par 5 but then played a reasonably intelligent shot to get myself back into position - 145 yards out with a flat lie to a front left pin. Of course I decided to attack it and, to the surprise of no one, I failed to control a punch draw 8-iron and hit it left of the greenside bunker. Dumpsville . . . Population: Me.
I reconciled myself to the fact that this was going to be at best another bogey and dedicated my fourth shot to the fat part of the green until about halfway through my downswing when my brain said "BUT JUST MAYBE WITH THE PERFECT TOUCH" at which point I decelerated and planted my ball waist deep in the bunker. From there it was an angry splash-out which flew over the green followed by an uninspired pitch, three putts and voila . . . a quadruple bogey.
I did not see Stan Gable evolving into a great dude. |
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