Wednesday, March 7, 2012

The WGC - Cadillac Preview

Don't get crazy on us Jimmy.  You
were born to rock the sweater vest.
Being the keen observers that you are, you may have noticed the new feature in the upper right hand corner called the "Honda Classic Top Five" (Now "The WGC - Cadillac Top Ten") which comes in response to a recent flood of requests for more fantasy golf analysis.* Well if nothing else, the Fantasy Golf Report aims to please so if even just one of my readers wants more analysis of fantasy golf and less rambling about my son's little league basketball team, a 3-wood that I shanked back in 2003 or what Jimmy Roberts was wearing when he interviewed Rory McIlroy before the trophy presentation on Sunday (some kind of crazy striped sweatshirt that made it look like he came straight from Jazzericise), then by golly I'm going to give it to him (along with all of that other crap of course).

So this is the week we take the FGR to the next level and add not one but two lists of predictions for your consideration.  The first will be the overall ranking of the players for the upcoming tournament like the one you see every week on  I've been reluctant to do one of these every week because (a) the odds makers already provide that service and (b) in the game most of us play, you can't pick the same player twice so what good does it do to reshuffle the top five players every week?  For anyone else, I'd say screw that list but for you, I make an exception, so here you go:

Congratulations Mrs. Mahan,
your husband just made the list.
WGC - Cadillac Championship Overall Rankings

1.  Phil Mickelson
2.  Tiger Woods
3.  Rory McIlroy
4.  Dustin Johnson
5.  Charl Schwartzel
6.  Rickie Fowler
7.  Matt Kuchar
8.  Nick Watney
9.  Adam Scott
10. Hunter Mahan

The second list will be based on the premise that you're playing a game similar to that which is described in Item (b)(careful, it's starting to sound a little lawyery).  This list will take into account that you may want to save the better players for the bigger tournaments.  Now it's not like I've gone overboard and mapped-out my picks for the entire season but I have set aside eight players for the Masters, U.S. Open, British Open and PGA (along with a player for a few other tournaments . . . ok a lot of other tournaments . . . ok every tournament except the Reno-Tahoe Open . . . I swear the FGW and I do not live in my parent's basement).  So for the "One and Done" list you will not see these guys unless it's the week of a major (in no particular order):

"If he's on this list, you must resist."
Jason Day
Webb Simpson
Sergio Garcia
Rory McIlroy
Lee Westwood
Phil Mickelson
Tiger Woods
Matt Kuchar

This list could obviously change depending on injuries, who is playing well leading-up to a given tournament and my last minute hunches that I somehow allow to override the detailed research I did to come up with the original pick back in January.**  Until further notice, however, those are the guys I'm picking for the majors.  There is one more element to the second list (we should've known).  The guy I pick for the week in my own game may not be at the top of the list. Three reasons for this: (1) I may have already used the player I like the most for the upcoming tournament, (2) I may be saving him for a later tournament, or (3) I'm trying to deceive my opponents.  I will, however, guarantee that the guy I am picking for the week will be somewhere on the list (and I have now used the word "list" more times than Al Gore*** used the term "lock box" during his entire presidential campaign . . . which is too much).  Without further ado, here is the "One and Done" list:

WGC - Cadillac Championship Rankings (One and Done Version)

A subtle clue for one of
my two picks this week.
1.  Dustin Johnson
2.  Charl Schwartzel
3.  Rickie Fowler
4.  Nick Watney
5.  Adam Scott
6.  Hunter Mahan
7.  Luke Donald
8.  Brandt Snedeker
9.  Keegan Bradley
10. Graeme McDowell

And one last thing.  Every week I will give myself a grade for the picks made the previous week.  The grading will not be based on any formula and will be completely subjective. Kind of like when Kim Jong Il took the SAT's and scored 75,000 out of a possible 2,400. Here is last week's report card:
"I have to finish the round to
get paid?  Are you serious?"

Last Week's Grade: B-

1. Mark Wilson - 30th
2. Justin Rose - 5th
3. Padraig Harrington - 71st
4. Y.E. Yang - 30th
5. Robert Allenby - 36th

All five picks made the cut and, if you went with Rose (like I did), you had a good week (that could have been a lot better if he didn't flat out give away about four f---ing strokes on the weekend).  I would have given myself a "B" if Harrington didn't lay down on the weekend and shoot 79.  At least he tried a little harder than Ryan Moore who posted a very tidy 10 par, 4 bogey, 4 double bogey 82 that raised his final round scoring average from 73.25 to 75.0 and dropped him to 168th place in that category, 0.67 strokes ahead of somebody named Tommy Biershenk.  Ryan Moore comes across like golf's version of the guy with top 30 talent who just doesn't appear to give a crap like J.D. Drew, Baron Davis and that waste of a scholarship, Jamie O'Hara (I'll give you a hint . . . "You just summed up your entire sorry career here in one sentence!  If you had a tenth of the heart of Ruettiger, you'd have made All-American by now!")  Until I see Moore slam a club, drop an f-bomb or exhibit some other sign of a pulse, he's not making "the list" on principal alone.****                   


* Ok it was one comment that said "less golf, more fantasy" which I'm going to assume was not posted by one of the 75 Ukrainian porn trollers who visit this site every week because the word "fantasy" has led them astray.

"You see my plan is to put all
of the lists in a lock box and
. . . why are you yawning?"
** I call these moves "Van Pelts"  after the journeyman quarterback for the Buffalo Bills, Alex Van Pelt, who I decided to start at the last minute in a fantasy football playoff game back in 2001 over the guy who got me there, Kordell Stewart, because Van Pelt had strung together a couple of respectable games and had a decent match-up.  Suffice it to say that Stewart threw for three TD's and ran for one while Van Pelt went for 208 yards and one TD.  I lost by 5 points.  Drinking helps but it can't stop the nightmares.  

*** The FGR has no political agenda but the fact is that Al Gore latched on to the term "lock box" during his presidential campaign like he was selling them on an infomercial. - (Lock Box).

**** If you're using this site for gambling purposes, you're going to need to account for certain unscientific methods used to rank the players.

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