And it's not unseemly enough for CBS to makes us watch a bunch of "C" and "D" level celebrities duff it around one of the three greatest courses in the country. They compound it by having the announcers alternately shill for the network and try to be part of the act which leads to cringeworthy moments like Nick Faldo proving that you can be painfully unfunny with a British accent and, more specifically, when the Master Shill Ian Baker-Finch comments that Chris O'Donnell is "one of my favorite TV actors on one of my favorite TV shows, NCIS: Los Angeles, which airs on CBS." He followed that shameless plug with, "of course my TV is always programmed to CBS" and I couldn't tell whether he was being serious or he just realized how ridiculous he sounded and tried to make light of it. Considering that no one works the on-air pom poms for AT&T, CBS and Pebble Beach with quite the tenacity of Baker-Finch, I'm going with the former. When they subsequently cut to a beautiful blimp shot of seagulls flying over the beach, I fully expected him to say in his happy go lucky Australian accent, "one of those seagulls shit on my head yesterday. There's really nothing quite like having a Pebble Beach seagull shit on your head. The smell . . . the consistency . . . ahhh just delightful."
|"Oh my God! |
I look ridiculous."
During the closing holes the announcers started having a casual debate about what failed Tiger down the stretch, putting or ball striking. The answer is both but I don't think either is the most important thing he needs to fix between now and the Masters. In the words of Mars Blackmon, "Money it's gotta be the shoes!" White tennis shoes? Are you kidding me? How does Tiger expect to compete with Mickelson, McIlroy, Day and Kaymer when he looks like he's playing in the Tuesday nine hole group at the Del Boca Vista retirement community? I haven't seen anyone that cool look that uncool since Don Cheadle wore that ridiculous Egyptian outfit at the end of Boogie Nights.
At some point last year a swing guru said he started wearing the shoes to improve his footwork and that may be true but are you telling me that Phil Knight can't come up with a color and design that doesn't completely rob Tiger of his mojo. I actually think Knight might be behind this. For years Nike has been trying to break through in golf from shoes to balls to clubs with very limited success despite the fact that their pitchman was getting ten times as much airtime as anyone else. I'm sure at some point Knight went to Tiger and asked,"what would you think about starting a trend by wearing white tennis shoes?" and Tiger laughed for a second and then got really serious and responded "are you fucking kidding me? Have you seen my badass Sunday outfit with the black shoes, pants and red shirt? I feel like Superman in that."
|"What's the matter with you? Is this|
what you've become, a PGA Tour
Finocchio who cries like a woman?"
The Pick of the Week
My partners and I are currently sitting 6th out of 79 teams in our one pick a week league thanks to Spencer Levin's ability to regroup after his meltdown in Scottsdale and post a tie for 9th at Pebble. If this success continues, I'm going to have to stop handing out this information or just start lying but for now I'll keep it honest (as far as you know) and throw K.J. Choi out there. He's never missed the cut at Riviera where consistency is key. I'm still not ready to start using the big guns. That, along with the real golf season, begins next week at the Match Play. (The thought of that just got me more excited than that picture of Bianca Kajlich which is just sad).