Tuesday, July 5, 2011

The AT&T Update

As the CBS crew was spending the better part of three hours on Saturday genuflecting before the athletic phenomenon that is Rickie Fowler’s golf swing, those of us with a wagering interest in Rickie’s ability to close on Sunday were pretty sure that even the 2nd place set of steak knives was a remote possibility.  The announcers were too busy pimping the Konica Minolta bizhub SwingVision and taking turns asking each other “could you pull-off that swing [Nick, Gary, David, Peter]?” and then universally responding, “maybe… but I wouldn’t be able to get out of bed the next day [laughter all around],” to note that Rickie’s 4th round scoring average this season is 71.82 which ranks him 129th in that category right behind Kent Jones.  That’s about two full strokes higher than this weekend’s winner, Nick Watney, who ranks 6th.  Coffee’s for closers Rickie.      

By the back nine on Sunday, Rickie looked like an orange traffic cone that someone was moving around in the background as they cut back and forth from Watney to Choi.  My second favorite part of the weekend telecast was when the announcers collectively speculated about what Rickie needed to do to beat guys like Rory McIlroy.  Rory McIlroy?!?!?  Fowler’s currently sitting right behind Kevin Chappell and Kevin Streelman on the money list and McIlroy’s sitting in the Royal Box on Sunday at Wimbledon trying to remember half of the names of the players in the women’s draw that he bedded during the fortnight.  If we’re counting on getting the better part of that match-up in the next 10 Ryder Cups, Europe’s going to have to give us Australia.   At this stage of his career Rickie Fowler is nothing more than the second coming of Sergio Garcia.  Let’s just be thankful he isn't a prick. 

Sponsors love it when you
kick their hat on camera.
The highlight of the weekend was Spencer Levin punting his hat after missing a 5 footer for par on 12 in the third round.  Here’s the clip of the actual punt (not a drop-kick as the hat never hit the ground before he kicked it):  My Man Spencer.  The video doesn’t do it justice.  After Spencer putted out for bogey and picked the ball out of the hole you could almost hear the bipolar theme music from Me, Myself and Irene start to play.  

To his credit, he made it off the green and past the microphone before going Sean Landeta but the director had the good sense to hang with him because he knew something was coming.  “Stay on Levin….wait for it….wait for it….OHHHHH!!!!”  I’m taking Spencer in the first round next year because I can’t imagine not having him on my team.

Robert Garrigus recently admitted in a Golf Digest article that in 2002 he smoked pot in the Porta Johns during Nationwide Tournament rounds.   "I had a very high tolerance, and I didn't know that it wasn't helping me.”  In 2002 Robert Garrigus entered 21 events on the Nationwide Tour.  He made the cut in 8, missed the cut in 11 and withdrew from 2 including one where he failed to post a first round score.  His earnings for the year totaled $15,357.  You could look at that and say the weed was making him delusional or you could figure that, including practice rounds and warm-up time, he probably put in about 600 hours that year meaning he was making a little more than twenty-five bucks an hour.  That’s F/U money for a pothead who made it through one year at Scottsdale Community College.

Watney setting the course record is great but my favorite stat is that he beat Paul Goydos on Saturday by 17 strokes. I’m picturing Watney with his perma grin bopping through the locker room after his round and bumping into Goydos, “hey Paul, did you hear I shot the course record?  How’d you do?” with Goydos responding, “eat s—t Watney.”  Pretty good field at the John Deere Classic this week including defending British Open champ Louis Oostuizen who must really need a free tractor.    

No comments: