Fantasy Golf: Mexico Open Preview

For the third time since I bought the damn thing on eBay like six years ago I sought the assistance of a club fitting professional and technology to replace my Callaway GBB Epic driver. And for the third time that thing proved harder to kill than John Wick. Poor Anthony at 2nd Swing just kept handing me one contender after another only to watch them get chewed up and spit out and booed offstage. Titleist nope. Mizuno nope. Ping definitely nope (they peaked with the green shafted G2 . . . IYKYK). 

It wasn't his fault that no other driver could improve my glacial 140 MPH ball speed and the experience wasn't a total loss as the Trackman did identify my negative angle of attack (like it's witnessed every argument I've ever had). I felt guilty walking-out empty handed and I also got $100 use it or lose it credit with the fitting so I looked at Anthony and said "BRING ME YOUR FINEST USED 4-WOOD FOR AROUND $200 GOOD SIR!" which he did. I proceeded to hit three balls with it and proclaimed "I'll take it!" at which point he kind of shook his head and looked at me like "you are an odd little man." I think we're going to be friends.   

After that, I kicked around for another twenty minutes and bought a putter. Then I got the fuck out of there as I could hear the wedges singing their sirens' song from the other side of the store.   

GOLF ANALYSIS

Last week we recommended Akshay Bhatia as a top ten bet and goddamn if that son of a bitch didn't shoot 67 on Sunday to eke out a T9 for what we believe was our first cash of the year. That means that if you'd bet $10 on every FGR recommendation so far in 2025, then you're now down $305. That's only $5 worse than you were last week which means the burn rate may be slowing. We will be gleefully taking even the faintest sign of a positive trend at this point. 

Let's keep riding the Akshay bandwagon this week as he goes from semi longshot to prohibitive favorite. Bhatia, Max Greyserman and Nick Dunlap were identified as our rising stars in 2025 so it's time to honor and respect the process. His odds to win stink but there's really no one else in this third rate field who you can project into that spot. Harry Hall was lightly considered and then quickly disqualified for his hat. Logic will never win out over pettiness here. You can count on that. 

Place	Player	Odds
Winner	Akshay Bhatia	+1400
Top 5	Michael Kim	+450
Top 10	Nicolai Hojgaard	+360
Top 10	Justin Lower	+500
Top 20	Ricky Castillo	+300

One and Done Pick: Akshay Bhatia

Akshay seen here bragging about
how many finger sandwiches he 
can eat in just one sitting.

Other Guy I'd Pick: Harry Hall

Sleeper Pick: Ricky Castillo

DraftKings Top Ten Values

Akshay Bhatia	$10,700
Harry Hall	$9,300
Michael Kim	$9,200
Alex Smalley	$8,700
Justin Lower	$8,500
Nicolai Hojgaard	$8,100
Patrick Fishburn	$7,800
Ben Silverman	$7,400
Ricky Castillo	$7,200
Hayden Springer	$6,800

Email the Fantasy Golf Report here.

Fantasy Golf: The Genesis Invitational Preview

We're done writing about football for awhile but we'd be remiss if we didn't celebrate the FGR's 7-5-1 playoff record including a Super Bowl win. Deep down we knew the Eagles were the better team but there were still the obvious concerns that Jalen Hurts would choke, Nick Siranni would get outcoached or the outcome of the game had been predetermined which seemed likely after the early offensive pass interference call. Pretty sure that had Roger Goodell grabbing the nearest lacky and angrily whispering "ask them what part of 'make it subtle' they don't understand."  

Everyone knew the Eagles' defensive line was strong thanks to their avant guarde draft strategy of using three first round picks on players from the best defense in college football. What most of us didn't see coming was them treating the Chiefs' offensive line like a worn down speedbump in a Burger King parking lot on their way to repeatedly mauling Patrick Mahomes. 

In the end, the lesser of the bad guys won so that's a good thing. Maybe now that Travis Kelce is a loser, Taylor Swift will break up with him putting an end to that overblown saga and the referees can go back to just being incompetent instead of compromised and incompetent. 

In other off-season news, it looks like no one is going to hire Ravens' offensive coordinator Todd Monken so we've got another playoff appearance and early January exit locked-up. Maybe the sadness of that reality will be offset by the Browns signing Aaron Rodgers. A man can dream.  

WORK EXCHANGE OF THE WEEK

The guys in the field took offense to the fact that I had to dig into the archives last week and choreographed this one for me yesterday. 

Bob: I'm going to cut right to the chase.

Me: Please do.

Bob: We were moving a pallet into a building and hit the door. 

Me: Any damage?

Bob: Broke just the handle.

Me: That's not so bad.

Bob: Then we hit it again ten minutes later and broke the whole thing.

Me: Was the door singing Coldplay songs? 

GOLF ANALYSIS

This week we head back to Torrey Pines for the Farmers Insurance Open Redux thanks to the California wild fires making Riviera an impractical venue. This despite our new Federal government's decision to dump about two billion gallons of water on other random parts of the state in an apparent effort to prove that water does in fact make things wet. It's all part of the plan to make life for Americans better by repeatedly asking the question "hey, what does this button do?"

Frankly, I have no room to talk based on my own recent performance. I'm not gonna lie, this golf writing schtick is a lot more fun when at least a couple of the picks are close to hitting. They say when life hands you lemons, make lemonade but I've been sitting here holding two rotten cantaloupes all year with no fucking clue what to do with them.

We're bringing back half of the cast from the flop three weeks ago under the theory that they were good picks who just had a bad week. That tournament was a bit of an aberration with a hot garbage leaderboard so few got it right. At least that's what we're telling ourselves. 

Place	Player	Odds
Winner	Collin Morikawa	+1600
Top 5	Taylor Pendrith	+600
Top 10	Keegan Bradley	+360
Top 10	Akshay Bhatia	+450
Top 20	Justin Rose	+260

One and Done Pick: Taylor Pendrith

Hey we haven't tried a big goofy
Canadian yet. Let's give that a shot.

Other Guy I'd Pick: Collin Morikawa

Sleeper Pick: Justin Rose 

DraftKings Top Ten Values

Collin Morikawa	$10,000
Ludvig Aberg	$9,800
Sungjae Im	$9,200
Taylor Pendrith	$9,000
Russell Henley	$8,600
Thomas Detry	$8,000
Will Zalatoris	$7,900
Keegan Bradley	$7,700
Akshay Bhatia	$7,100
Justin Rose	$6,400

Email the Fantasy Golf Report here.

For those who doubt the sincerity and seriousness of DOGE, I would encourage you to visit their website for a comprehensive breakdown of everything they have accomplished so far and plans what what they hope to achieve in the future.  

                                              THE WWW.DOGE.GOV

                                   HISTORICAL PERFORMANCE CHART 

A lot of DNP's on the board this week as many of the better players have been skipping Torrey for years. Apparently it takes signature event money to get them to play a public course. Well grab a hot dog from the roller and show your ticket to the starter boys.  

	DK Price	2025	2024	2023	2022	2021
Scottie Scheffler	$12,300	DNP	DNP	DNP	T20	MC
Rory McIlroy	$10,900	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	T16
Justin Thomas	$10,100	DNP	DNP	T25	T20	DNP
Colin Morikawa	$10,000	DNP	MC	3rd	DNP	DNP
Ludvig Aberg	$9,800	T42	T9	DNP	DNP	DNP
Hideki Matsuyama	$9,600	T32	T13	T9	T30	T53
Patrick Cantlay	$9,400	DNP	T56	DNP	DNP	DNP
Sungjae Im	$9,200	T4	MC	T4	T6	T32
Tommy Fleetwood	$9,100	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Taylor Pendrith	$9,000	T7	T9	T60	T16	DNP
Tom Kim	$8,900	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Shane Lowry	$8,800	MC	T25	DNP	DNP	DNP
Jason Day	$8,700	T32	MC	T7	T3	MC
Russell Henley	$8,600	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Jordan Spieth	$8,500	DNP	DNP	DNP	MC	MC
Sam Burns	$8,400	DNP	DNP	DNP	MC	T18
Rasmus Hojgarrd	$8,300	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Tony Finau	$8,200	MC	T6	T9	MC	T2
Robert Macintyre	$8,100	DNP	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP
Sepp Straka	$8,000	DNP	MC	DNP	T16	T32
Thomas Detry	$8,000	T15	T20	T37	DNP	DNP
Viktor Hovland	$7,900	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	T2
Will Zalatoris	$7,900	DNP	T13	MC	2nd	T7
Maverick McNealy	$7,800	T52	T37	T31	T30	MC
Min Woo Lee	$7,800	DNP	T43	DNP	DNP	DNP
Byeong Hun An	$7,700	DNP	DNP	T62	DNP	T75
Keegan Bradley	$7,700	T15	T43	2nd	T65	DNP
Harris English	$7,600	1st	T64	MC	DNP	DNP
Samuel Stevens	$7,600	2nd	T43	T13	DNP	DNP
Adam Scott	$7,500	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	T10
Sahith Theegala	$7,500	T52	T64	T4	T25	DNP
Cameron Young	$7,400	DNP	DNP	DNP	T20	MC
Corey Conners	$7,400	DNP	DNP	DNP	MC	T37
Mark Hubbard	$7,300	T68	T20	DNP	MC	DNP
Wyndham Clark	$7,300	DNP	DNP	T37	T56	T32
J.T. Poston	$7,200	DNP	DNP	DNP	MC	T18
Max Greyserman	$7,200	T48	MC	DNP	DNP	DNP
Akshay Bhatia	$7,100	DNP	T13	DNP	DNP	DNP
Si Woo Kim	$7,100	MC	DNP	T25	T11	MC
Davis Thompson	$7,000	DNP	MC	T69	DNP	DNP
J.J. Spaun	$7,000	T15	MC	MC	T34	MC
Andrew Novak	$6,900	3rd	MC	T69	T70	DNP
Daniel Berger	$6,900	MC	MC	DNP	T20	DNP
Cam Davis	$6,800	DNP	DNP	MC	T56	T32
Denny McCarthy	$6,800	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	T73
Matt Fitzpatrick	$6,800	DNP	DNP	DNP	MC	DNP
Aaron Rai	$6,700	MC	T33	52nd	T6	DNP
Billy Horschel	$6,700	DNP	MC	DNP	T11	MC
C. Bezuidenhout	$6,700	DNP	MC	DNP	T46	DNP
Gary Woodland	$6,600	DNP	MC	T62	T39	T48
Nick Taylor	$6,600	DNP	DNP	DNP	T30	DNP
Rickie Fowler	$6,600	DNP	DNP	T11	MC	T53
Austin Eckroat	$6,500	MC	T37	MC	MC	DNP
Lucas Glover	$6,500	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	T42
Max Homa	$6,500	W/D	T13	1st	MC	T18
Justin Rose	$6,400	MC	T56	T18	T6	DNP
Stephan Jaeger	$6,400	MC	T3	T53	MC	DNP
Tom Hoge	$6,400	DNP	T56	DNP	MC	MC
Brian Harman	$6,300	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Michael Kim	$6,300	MC	T37	T44	DNP	T53
Tiger Woods (O)	$6,300	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Ben Griffin	$6,200	MC	MC	T31	DNP	DNP
Mackenzie Hughes	$6,200	DNP	T64	DNP	MC	MC
Patrick Rodgers	$6,200	T56	T9	MC	T62	MC
Eric Cole	$6,100	T68	MC	MC	DNP	DNP
Matthieu Pavon	$6,100	MC	1st	DNP	DNP	DNP
Seamus Power	$6,100	DNP	MC	DNP	DNP	MC
Adam Hadwin	$6,000	DNP	DNP	T44	MC	T18
Danny List	$6,000	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP	DNP
Jake Knapp	$6,000	T32	T3	DNP	DNP	DNP
Kevin Yu	$6,000	MC	T6	T44	MC	DNP
Nicolas Echavarria	$6,000	DNP	MC	MC	DNP	DNP