Tuesday, May 2, 2017

Fantasy Golf: Wells Fargo Championship Preview

So I was a little late getting the memo that the Wells Fargo Championship wouldn't be played at Quail Hollow this year which basically means that I have no idea who to pick. So what's a slumping prognosticator to do? I'm going to get the fuck back to basics and find some value, that's what I'm going to do. That starts with the obvious pick of Jon Rahm at the top because he's earned "hey dumbass, pick me every week" status until proven otherwise. Conversely, we're going to bench D.J. until we're sure everything is ok after his "fluke" injury.*

For our one and done pick, we're going with the gritty Kevin Kisner who's game plays anywhere so it might as well here (wherever the hell "here" is). Not to mention, Kisner is a fellow practitioner of motivation through miserable body language and resting bitch face so he's always been an FGR favorite. (Stop telling me to have fun. I AM HAVING FUCKING FUN!!!).

The rest of the crew is made-up of reliable dudes, some of whom have slipped into undervalued territory like William McGirt, Zach Johnson and Shane Lowry - ZJ in particular. He's been slumping since February and two months is about as long as he's going to stay down before he and the Lord will him to a top ten. (That is not intended as a slight. If anyone is going to convince me to get more God in my golf game, it's that nails grinding SOB).         

And that's all I got this week. Now I'm off to play tennis because, in a week where I've already jumped on a trampoline, headed a soccer ball and almost ripped my abdomen in half trying to demonstrate a gymnastics move to my kids in the kitchen, I figure I might as well finish the job by shredding my elbow and shoulder after not having picked a racket up in eight months. The lesson as it always has been and always will be . . . I'm an idiot.

I actually LOVE tennis. (Ha! See
what I did there? Can you honestly
believe you get this shit for free?)
The One and Done Pick: Kevin Kisner

The DraftKings Top Ten Value Picks

John Rahm
$11,000
Paul Casey
$9,900
Bill Haas
$9,500
Kevin Kisner
$8,400
William McGirt
$7,900
Jim Furyk
$7,800
Zach Johnson
$7,400
Kevin Tway
$7,200
Shane Lowry
$6,900
Harold Varner, III
$6,300

Footnote

* I've successfully negotiated the hardwood steps in my house while wearing socks twenty-seven times since the Masters. Just sayin'.