Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Fantasy Golf: The Zurich Classic Preview

The Zurich Classic Favorites
This week's FGR jinx . . . er . . . pick is
dating "bikini model" Alexis Randock.

1. Jason Day - 7/1
2. Dustin Johnson - 8/1
3. Justin Rose - 9/1
4. Rickie Fowler - 14/1
5. Keegan Bradley - 18/1
6. Harris English - 25/1
7. Billy Horschel - 25/1
8. Steve Stricker - 33/1
9. Brendan Steele - 35/1
10. Jamie Donaldson - 35/1

The FGR Zurich Classic Picks

1. Dustin Johnson
2. Rickie Fowler
3. Sean O'Hair
4. Steve Stricker
5. Brendan Steele

The One and Done Pick: Rickie Fowler

The Sleeper Pick: Troy Merritt

Just when I thought this year couldn't get any worse, last week happened. But the failure really dates back to early January because before each season starts, I generally do a quick run through the tournaments and slot as many players as possible based on repeated success at certain events. The primary purpose of this is to make sure I don't get to the Tour Championship with Jordan Spieth, Jason Day and Dustin Johnson all sitting on my bench because the fact that I have the attention span of a four year old means I forgot to play them. 

The other purpose is to link players and events without getting swayed by current form because we know from experience how quickly that can change. It sounds good in theory until you get off to a bad start and then lose your composure by making rash decisions like yanking Jim Furyk out of the RBC Heritage slot and putting him in the Valspar slot. Turns-out that was a $1M mistake give or take a few thousand but hey, who's counting? (Other than the people to whom I will be handing money in October). Combine that with the kick in the man zone I got when the guy I actually did pick missed his first cut since last year's British Open, and you have the rock bottom point of the Fantasy Golf Report's 2015 (I hope). 

"I ain't feeling so good
about the picks this week."
My current state of mind combined with the fact that we have one of the tour's less anticipated events on deck enticed me to take this week off and get my head right but then I remembered the inspiring pep talk that Opal Fleener gave to coach Norman Dale in Hoosiers* . . . "the sun don't shine on the same dog's ass every day but mister, you ain't seen a ray of light since you got here." And then I remembered how Coach persevered, how he helped get Shooter clean and how his fortunes changed by sticking to what he knew was the righteous path. I'm going to do the same. 

If only I'd come up with this idea sooner, I would have gotten myself thrown out of the game for a week and then found an old shaky drunk guy to put on a suit and write the preview but I didn't so I guess I'll just have to play the part of the old shaky drunk guy too. (I know it's a stretch but work with me). We're going with Rickie Fowler because (a) he found something at the Masters, (b) he's entered the Zurich Classic the last five years so he must like the course even if he doesn't play it that well and (c) the guy I picked back in January, Graham DeLaet, isn't playing. I guess he doesn't want to miss five cuts in two months and yes I'm bitter about drafting him in the fourth round two months ago over J.B. Holmes. So there's your fantasy golf version of running the old picket fence at them. (We'll conveniently ignore where the stroy went for Shooter from there).      

Last Week's Report Card: D-
Apparently Alexis also dabbles as a
"sweater model." Well you know what the
Australians like to say . . . vive la difference.

1. Patrick Reed - M/C
2. Webb Simpson - T51st
3. Ben Martin - T37th
4. Matt Kuchar - 5th
5. Brandt Snedeker - T26th

One and Done Picks to Date

Hyundai: Kevin Streelman - $70,667
Sony: Chris Kirk - $42,280
Humana: Russell Knox - M/C
Phoenix: Hunter Mahan - $36,729
Farmers: Hideki Matsuyama - M/C

AT&T: Dustin Johnson - $281,067
Northern Trust: Jimmy Walker - $24,120
Honda: Keegan Bradley - M/C
WGC-Cadillac: Bubba Watson - $540,000
Valspar: Jim Furyk - $23,600
Palmer: Brooks Koepka – W/D
Texas Open: Matt Kuchar - $99,200
Houston Open: Louis Oosthuizen - M/C
Masters: Rory McIlroy - $480,000
Heritage: Patrick Reed - M/C

Season Total: $1,597,663

Footnote

* Speaking of Hoosiers, in a case of rare political commentary by the FGR that is certain to offend some (and I don't care), I would like to express the following sentiment to Indiana Governor Mike Pence and those of his constituents who supported the original version of the Religious Freedom Restoration Act: "fuck you." We now return to the inanity of our regular subject matter.

Email the Fantasy Golf Report at fgr@fantasygolfreport.com.