Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Fantasy Golf: The AT&T Pebble Beach Preview

The Pebble Beach Favorites
Stiff competition for the queen of
vintage 80's hotness but the FGR
winner is Ms. De Mornay . . . .

1. Jimmy Walker - 8/1
2. Jason Day - 8/1
3. Jordan Spieth - 12/1
4. Patrick Reed - 16/1
5. Dustin Johnson - 16/1
6. Brandt Snedeker - 20/1
7. Hunter Mahan - 22/1
8. Jim Furyk - 25/1
9. Ryan Palmer - 25/1
10. Chris Kirk - 30/1

The FGR Pebble Beach Picks

1. Jordan Spieth
2. Jimmy Walker
3. Dustin Johnson
4. Brandt Snedeker
5. Chris Kirk

One and Done Pick: Dustin Johnson

Sleeper Pick: Spencer Levin

In this opening scene of Ghostbusters, Dr. Peter Venkman (Bill Murray) conducts an electroshock experiment on two college students, one male and one female, to determine if either possesses paranormal abilities. The male student is played by Steve Tash and his Jewfro (the Urban Dictionary's word not mine) and the female student is played by vintage 80's hottie Jennifer Runyon.* Suffice it to say that Steve Tash's character gets lit-up like a Christmas tree because even when he's right, Venkman throws the switch on him as part of his plan to woo Ms. Runyon's character. Based on our 2015 performance to date, the FGR is the poor schmuck sitting next to Ms. Runyon in the Paranormal Studies Lab.

We were sooooo close last week as the one and done pick came down to Hideki Matsuyama and Jason Day with Matsuyama drawing the top spot and Day getting slotted for a major down the road. But, to quote another 80's movie icon, "remember boys, no points for second place." So here we sit after five tournaments with an average weekly total that would barely get your kid through his first year at Salisbury University in Maryland and that's if he borrowed his roommate's books and ate out of the dumpster behind the dining hall (a/k/a the "Bronze Meal Plan").**               

We were very tempted to deviate from our original plan of saving Jordan Spieth and Jimmy Walker for other events and putting one of them in the one and done line-up but the variables in play this week (three different courses, weather and schticky celebrities) make it a very unpredictable tournament and the thought of missing the cut with one of those studs is just more than we can handle at this low-point. The one thing that has been predictable about the AT&T lately, however, is that Dustin Johnson is going to play well as he posted a 2nd last year, a T5th in 2012 and wins in 2009 and 2010. Yes he's had some issues lately but so has the FGR so we're a perfect match. (You kind of lost me a little on the D.J. pick with that bit of logic). Screw it. I smell redemption story on Sunday. 

Speaking of perfect matches, anytime we can legitimately put our favorite scrappy, scowling, 5'10", 155 lb., butt-ripping, hat kicking*** player into the Sleeper Pick spot, we're doing it. Spencer Levin is coming off an 11th place finish last week and, before he injured his thumb (presumably by punching a cigarette vending machine), he finished 9th at Pebble in 2012 and 4th in 2011. If you play the Golf Channel's fantasy game and you don't have Spencer in your Group 3 spot, well then I'm just not sure this is going to work-out between us.      

Last Week's Report Card: C+  
. . . . by the slightest
margin over Phoebe Cates.

1. Hideki Matsuyama - M/C
2. Jason Day - 1st
3. Brandt Snedeker - T19th
4. Jimmy Walker - T7th
5. Justin Thomas - M/C

One and Done Picks to Date

Hyundai: Kevin Streelman - $70,667
Sony: Chris Kirk - $42,280
Humana: Russell Knox - M/C
Phoenix Open: Hunter Mahan - $36,729
Farmers Open: Hideki Matsuyama - M/C

WTF?!?! Season Total: $149,676

Footnotes

* Jennifer Runyon put together a solid acting career from 1980 - 1993 but she probably peaked in 1984 (didn't many of us) with her appearance in Ghostbusters, her recurring spots on Charles in Charge and her starring role in Up the Creek which was the product of a Hollywood producer wondering aloud in a meeting, "what if we got the actors who never made it big from Animal House, the guy from Porkys, a Farrah Fawcett rip-off and we put them in a movie with a lot of water ergo a lot of bikinis? That would make some money wouldn't it?" The next thing you know, Tim Matheson (Otter), Stephen Furst (Flounder), Dan Monahan (Pee Wee) and the lovely Ms. Runyon were in a college rafting race and hilarity/80's nudity ensued. But don't get me started on 80's frontal nudity or we'll be here all day talking about Blame it on Rio, Private School, Hardbodies and Zapped. Besides, someone beat me to the punch with this compilation.    

** Riding the shit out of the 80's theme at this point with a little old school Division III lacrosse rival chatter. We kid because we love . . . and it's funny because it's true.

*** That six second video has not gotten and will never get old.        

Email the Fantasy Golf Report at fgr@fantasygolfreport.com.