Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Fantasy Golf: The Tour Championship Preview

Well, we've been through a lot together in 2014 haven't we. There've been some good times like when we* picked Dustin Johnson at the Northern Trust back in February and there've been some bad times like the entire rest of the season. We spent some time with old friends like Lucy Pinder and Rosie Jones, stumbled onto the immensely popular cowgirl theme and even found some time to write partial accounts of our trip to Italy and the Chesapeake Bay Swim (and one day, we might actually finish them).

But that's enough reminiscing, let's get on to some hardcore rationalizing. It's been a tough year for fantasy golf "experts" like myself. The picks made by PGATour.com's Rob Bolton have totalled a whopping $3,442,665 against my $4,122,214 (get some Rob!!). And I'm doing even better against the "experts" over at the Golf Channel where, playing THEIR game by THEIR rules, my $21,459,226 would make me third out of fifteen on their "Expert Leaderboard" (if they let me play of course which they don't, cause they're scared). To put that in perspective, Kelly Tilghman a/k/a "The Cheese Fountain" has a measly $14,405,625 which puts her in second to last place over $4M behind the only other woman they invited to play, Lauren Thompson (is everyone cool with Lauren playing this year? . . . ok great, next topic). 

Anyway, here are (mercifully) the final picks of the season. You should note that I've only put Morgan Hoffman at the top because I want to see a player who has never finished better than 3rd in a PGA tournament or 29th in a major (the only one where has made a cut) hoist arguably the ugliest trophy in sports along with a $10M check while Dan Hicks is forced to come up with some superlatives to describe his accomplishment: "Ladies and gentlemen, let's hear it for the best golfer in America from August 21, 2014 through September 14, 2014 . . . and special thanks to FedEx for their continued sponsorship of an event that golf fans all over the world will talking about for minutes to come."   

Yes Lauren, we've been having production
meetings by the pool for several years now.
The Tour Championship Favorites

1. Rory McIlroy - 7 to 2
2. Adam Scott - 9 to 1
3. Jim Furyk - 11 to 1
4. Rickie Fowler - 12 to 1
5. Sergio Garcia - 14 to 1

The FGR One and Done Picks

1. Morgan Hoffman
2. Rory McIlroy
3. Rickie Fowler
4. Bubba Watson
5. Bill Haas

Last Week's Report Card: C+

1. Martin Kaymer - T16th
2. Rory McIlroy - T8th
3. Jim Furyk - T4th
4. Sergio Garcia - T4th
To be fair, I think Holly Sonders was also on
that leaderboard until she left for Fox Sports to
start her own show called Tits and Waterfalls.
5. Justin Rose - 35th

The "Don't Let the Door Hit Ya" Report

Hyundai: Gary Woodland - $130,000
Sony: Chris Kirk - $604,800
Humana: Charles Howell, III - $12,198
Farmers: Bill Haas - $20,740
WM Phoenix: Billy Horschel - M/C

Pebble Beach: Russell Knox - $46,860
Northern Trust: Dustin Johnson - $723,600
Match Play: Hunter Mahan - $148,000
Honda Classic: Graeme McDowell - $15,600
WGC-Cadillac: Rory McIlroy - $76,000
Valspar: Harris English - $23,940
Palmer: Justin Rose - M/C
Texas Open: Kevin Chappell - M/C

Houston Open: Keegan Bradley - $18,374
Masters: Matt Kuchar - $342,000
Heritage: Jim Furyk - $187,050
Zurich: Graham DeLaet - $44,200
Wells Fargo: Webb Simpson - $28,980
The Players: Adam Scott - $38,000
Byron Nelson: Jason Dufner - $17,327

Hey look, it's Lauren Thompson in a
cowboy hat. Goodnight everybody!
Colonial: Zach Johnson - $12,416
Memorial: Charl Schwartzel - $167,400

FedEx St. Jude: Lee Westwood - M/C 
U.S. Open: Jason Day - $326,310
Travelers: Bubba Watson - $32,296
Quicken Loans: Brendon Todd - $237,250
Greenbrier: Jimmy Walker - M/C
John Deere: Steve Stricker - $112,800
British Open: Henrik Stenson - $36,253
Canadian Open: Charley Hoffman - M/C
Bridgestone: Tiger Woods - W/D
PGA Championship: Rickie Fowler - $580,000
Wyndham: Brian Harman - M/C
Barclays: Nick Watney - M/C
Deutsche: Ryan Moore - $15,520
BMW: Martin Kaymer - $124,000

Season Total: $4,122,214

Email the Fantasy Golf Report at fgr@fantasygolfreport.com

Footnote

* I don't know who in the hell "we" are because I am of course a one man wolfpack.