Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Fantasy Golf: The St. Jude Preview

The countdown clock in the right-hand column has ducked under 5 days which means that golf has slid to the backburner as I keep having flash forwards about trying to swim through a horde of flailing arms and kicking legs just so I can get to the middle of the Bay and think, "holy crap am I tired." I'm going to hit the most crowded public pool in Baltimore City on Saturday and do laps up and down the middle of it to prepare - it will be my version of pumping heavy metal music into practice to get ready for a road game against the Seahawks. But we'll get to a final pre-swim entry later in the week. For now, let's gin-up some golf chatter.

This is the last event before the U.S. Open and it's always interesting to see which guys like to compete the week before versus those who take the week off or head to Pinehurst early (and by "interesting" I mean "borderline noteworthy"). Matt Kuchar has decided to grind himself into a pulp as this will be his fifth consecutive event* dating back to when he stuck his first tee in the ground at Sawgrass on May 8th. That feels like overkill to me. I'm putting a couple of guys at the top who (a) have been playing well lately, (b) took last week off and (c) have a solid history in Memphis. Lee Westwood won this thing in 2010 and Ryan Palmer finished 4th last year and 3rd the year before so they're my guys. Not to mention, Westwood is the king of winning the week before it really matters. Your dark horse is David Toms who used to dominate on this course back in the last decade . . . you know, when he was good at golf. (Making friends fast this week).    
Are you sure Megan Fox is from
Tennessee? OK . . . if you say so.

The St. Jude Favorites

1. Matt Kuchar - 12 to 1
2. Dustin Johnson - 16 to 1
3. Phil Mickelson - 18 to 1
4. Lee Westwood - 20 to 1
5. Ryan Palmer - 22 to 1
6. John Senden - 28 to 1

The FGR One and Done Picks

1. Lee Westwood
2. Ryan Palmer
3. David Toms
4. Dustin Johnson
5. Harris English
6. Matt Kuchar

The blind squirrel theory was in effect for me last week as I went to www.fglweb.com to punch-in my Charl Schwartzel pick only to discover that I had already burned him at the Byron Nelson a few weeks ago. That left me scrambling a bit as I had already used all of the other players in my top six except for Luke Donald and Luke Donald is not the guy you pick when you're trying to bust-out of a funk. So I semi-randomly picked Hideki Matsuyama and the next thing you know I'm jumping from 67th to 33rd in one and done league "A".** This could be the sign of a dramatic turnaround as I picked Matt Kuchar to win the Memorial in the same league last year and it sparked a run into the top five . . . until everyone and their brother picked Jason Dufner to win the PGA Championship and I got blown out of the water (and the money) like a flounder on the wrong-end of a South Carolina blast fishing trip.

Um . . . I think you got him.
Last Week's FGR Report Card: B

1. Charl Schwartzel - T8th
2. Dustin Johnson - T46th
3. Bill Haas - T8th
4. Luke Donald - T49th
5. Jordan Spieth - T19th
6. Matt Kuchar - T15th

The Blind Squirrel Report

Hyundai: Gary Woodland - $130,000
Sony: Chris Kirk - $604,800
Humana: Charles Howell, III - $12,198
Farmers: Bill Haas - $20,740
WM Phoenix: Billy Horschel - M/C
I'm not that into fishing . . .
what else ya got? . . . Thanks.
Pebble Beach: Russell Knox - $46,860
Northern Trust: Dustin Johnson - $723,600
Match Play: Hunter Mahan - $148,000
Honda Classic: Graeme McDowell - $15,600
WGC-Cadillac: Rory McIlroy - $76,000
Valspar: Harris English - $23,940
Palmer: Justin Rose - M/C
Texas Open: Kevin Chappell - M/C
Houston Open: Keegan Bradley - $18,374
Masters: Matt Kuchar - $342,000
Heritage: Jim Furyk - $187,050
Zurich: Graham DeLaet - $44,200
Wells Fargo: Webb Simpson - $28,980
The Players: Adam Scott - $38,000
Byron Nelson: Jason Dufner - $17,327
Colonial: Zach Johnson - $12,416
Memorial: Charl Schwartzel - $167,400

Season Total: $2,657,485

Footnotes

* I wrote this before Kuchar withdrew this week and adding this footnote was a lot easier than rewriting the whole damn thing.

** I'm in two leagues which we will call "A" and "B". If you win the "A" league, you make enough money to buy a 2014 Chevy Impala. If you win the "B" league, you make enough money to fly to Wisconsin and see Ginger, the baby Impala that was born at the Milwaukee County Zoo last year. I am currently on pace to make less money in both leagues in 2014 than the guy who cleans Ginger's cage makes in ten minutes.

Email the Fantasy Golf Report at fgr@fantasygolfreport.com.