|"That was some of the best running|
I've seen yet . . . right up to the part
where you fumbled the ball." - Jester
It's my birthday so today is all about Irish Car Bombs (the drink not the act of terrorism) and winning picks. Let's do this.
At Seattle by 7.5 over New Orleans: The Pick - Seahawks
This pick is only slightly related to the 34-7 beatdown the Seahawks put on the Saints back in early December because, as we learned from the Chargers-Bengals rematch, you can't give much credence to even recent NFL history. This game is all about the following two numbers: 29.1 and 18.7. The first number is the average points scored by the Seahawks at home this season and the second number is the average points scored by the Saints on the road (including last week's Eagles' game). That may be oversimplifying things a bit but overly simplified is how I like my world and, when you consider that the Seahawks have one of the best defenses the Saints will have played on the road and the Saints have one of the most mediocre defenses the Seahawks will have played at home, that 10+ point gap could easily widen. I'm seeing 31-17 with an APB on a missing Jimmy Graham in the second half.
At New England by 7.5 over Indianapolis: The Pick - Patriots
|Not to mention, Mr. Bundchen|
rarely loses home playoff games
unless Ray Lewis is involved.
San Francisco by 1.5 at Carolina: The Pick - 49ers
I have the utmost faith in the Carolina defense but the utleast*** faith in Cam Newton/Ron Rivera v. Colin Kaepernick/Jim Harbaugh. Cam Newton is so freakishly talented that his day may come but it's going to take a little more time and at least a B+ receiving threat before he gets there. Also, a road team has to win this weekend and the 49ers are one of the best left in the tournament. And furthermore, hasn't this whole season been trending toward conference championship games of 49ers at Seahawks and Patriots at Broncos? And if I might add . . . enough already? (Good, because I didn't really have anything else to say). Touchdowns will be at a premium in this one but annoying shots of Jim Harbaugh on the sideline that make you want to throw things at the television will not . . . 20-13.
At Denver by 9.5 over San Diego: The Pick - Broncos
|"If YOU'RE happy with the Chargers,|
that's really all that matters right?"
On the other side you have Peyton Manning who has spent the entire season hearing about what a bad playoff quarterback he is and how he can't play in cold weather and how his little brother has more Super Bowl rings than he does and how he is really the abandoned love-child of Tom Seaver and Meryl Streep (ok, maybe that's the first he's heard of that). Anyway, remember what he did to start the season when he was still pissed at the Ravens for stealing his Super Bowl chance last year? (He threw as many touchdown passes as Joe Flacco threw in the last seven games of the season . . . true story). Well I see him throwing a similar blanket party for the Chargers before Brady and Belichik come west to eat an entire wheel of his cheese and poop in his fridge. Something along the lines of 38-20.
Last Week's Record: 1-2-1 . . . Regular Season Record: 136-114-4
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* For reasons too annoying to explain, my 12 year old son is a die-hard Colts fan. I normally just try to ignore it the same way I would if he walked around all day quoting Tyler Perry movies (which he fortunately does not), however, seeing as I have no dog in the NFL playoff race for the first time since 2007, I decided that this year I would be supportive (but only to a point because there is the whole Jim Irsay douche factor to keep in mind). Anyway, at about the time when it was 31-10 Chiefs in the 2nd quarter, I walked-in and he was watching soccer on the Spanish channel . . . and he doesn't speak Spanish. When I asked him what he was doing, he responded, "it's over." Then I convinced him to watch the start of the second half when Luck promptly threw a pick leading to 38-10. At that point I agreed that it was over but fortunately kept tabs on the game so we put it back on in the 4th quarter and we all watched it but he refused to come back in the room because, "it's just like that Bud Light commercial where the guy has to stay in the basement for his team to win." So congratulations Bud Light. Your NFL saturation campaign has reached the 12 year old demographic. It's really got me looking forward to Cialis ads featuring Demi Lovato and Taylor Lautner.
|"BL" stands for "Bros Lacrosse."|
You'll just have to take my word for it.
*** "Utleast" - for when "least" just doesn't adequately express how little faith you have in something. As in, "I have the utleast faith in Robert DeNiro's desire to salvage what's left of his legacy after seeing the trailers for Grudge Match." I'm honestly starting to wonder if Raging Bull, The Godfather: Part 2, Goodfellas and Midnight Run ever really happened.