Thursday, November 7, 2013

The FGR Thursday Night Pick

I've got a lot to say about the Richie Incognito-Jonathan Martin situation but unfortunately no time to say it yet so let's bang-out the Thursday night picks (yes I said picks) until I find an evening to write when I haven't had three glasses of wine with dinner and passed-out watching the World Series of Poker final table (it turns out that, like the real World Series, "almost live" high stakes poker has the power to be both riveting and sleep inducing).

"DRAFT POSITION . . .
DRAFT POSTION . . .
HE'S OUR MAN . . .!!!"
Washington by 2.5 at Minnesota: The Pick - Vikings

Another primetime stink bomb as we draw two teams with a combined record of 4-12 led by two stars who have been mediocre at best this season. Despite that, fans of both teams still have reason for hope. Redskin fans are buoyed by the fact that if they win this game, they will only need four more wins to reach 8-8 which should take the division and they still have four games left against the Cowboys, Giants and Eagles. Viking fans are buoyed by the fact that there are only eight more games until the Ponder/Cassell/Freeman era ends and the Bridgewater/Mariota/Hundley/Manziel era begins.*  

Oregon by 11 at Stanford: The Pick - Stanford

It seems like every season Oregon comes steamrolling into this game after annihilating every team in its path by 30+ points and leads us to believe that this will finally be the year when we'll get to see its offense take on Nick Saban's defense for the national championship . . . and then they choke like dogs. I have not seen either team play a down but I am a big believer in institutional choking and there is part of me that thinks that we're headed for an Alabama-Ohio St. national championship game where the Combined Coach Prick Factor Score (or "CCPF Score") will obliterate the previous record held by Jim Harbaugh v. Jim Schwartz in 2012.**

Pine Valley Team #3 in Two Sets over FGR and Partner: The Pick - Pine Valley

Chances are I will be on the
losing end of the post-game
handshake with this guy. 
I haven't picked-up a paddle tennis racket in over a year due to some lingering elbow issues and the fact that I got tired of losing to 60+ year old guys wearing corduroys. If you've never played paddle tennis, it's kind of like of like tennis in a cage meaning that you never have to chase a ball because it's eventually going to hit something and bounce back to you. It also means that if you ever run more than five steps in any direction, you will crash into something. This leads me to believe that it was invented by a guy who was (a) very good at tennis and (b) very fat.

Endnote

* Most mock drafts have Johnny Manziel going somewhere between 10-15 but if you don't think he's going top five, then you haven't met the front office of the Jacksonville Jaguars.

** Note that this statistic has only been tracked since 2003 and only applies to football so it does not include the 1977 World Series match-up of Billy Martin v. Tommy Lasorda, the the Super Bowl XXIII match-up of Mike Shanahan v. Mike Holmgren and every single game Bobby Knight ever coached.