Monday, April 16, 2012

The RBC Heritage Update

"Augustus, that trophy is not made
of chocolate . . . don't eat it!" 
Carl Pettersson won the RBC Heritage in a snoozer and, along with three of the other top five finishers (Colt Knost, Kevin Stadler and Billy Mayfair)* set the "golfers are athletes" argument back about 20 years. Turns out that, while vertical stripes are slimming, when you combine them with horizontal stripes in a tartan plaid, not so much.  

This week in San Antonio we have one of the least intriguing fields I've ever seen for a tournament not being played at the same time as the British Open and it's not going to get much better next week in New Orleans as the top players gear-up for the Wells Fargo and The Players in three weeks. You know it's bad when your field features six major champions but they're Ben Curtis, Justin Leonard, David Duval, Rich Beem, Shaun Micheel and Lee Janzen (oh, those six) and the highlight package that CBS has lined-up devotes more time to the 16 that Kevin Na made on the 9th hole last year than to any shots hit by the winner (it was Brendan Steele in case you forgot).**  

"The suspense is terrible
. . . I hope it'll last."
Some would see this as a soft spot in the schedule but I see it as an opportunity to finalize the formula and calculations for the unveiling of the inaugural FGR World Golf Rankings. I've been banging on Luke Donald for six months because he is the most unqualified golfer ever to be ranked #1 (and he might be the most unqualified athlete to be ranked #1 in his sport since Rocky Balboa in Rocky III). Luke Donald, however, is not the problem. The system that tells us that he's the best golfer in the world*** is the problem and I'm going to fix it. Consider yourself teased.

* At one point, a microphone caught Zach Johnson asking "OK, who took all of the power bars out of my bag?"  

** This is what a PGA pro making a 16 looks like - The Double Snowman.

*** I know Rory McIlroy reclaimed the #1 spot thanks to Luke Donald's 37th place finish at the Heritage but that just helps prove my point. It's gonna blow your mind. You'll see.