Wednesday, February 8, 2012

The Super Bowl Re-Blah Blah Blah

It's impossible get up for a Super Bowl between a team from New York and a team that just jumped from the third spot on your most hated list to the second (the Redskins are still the bad guys but they're too non-threatening to hate, kind of like Dr. Evil).  I'm finding it equally as hard to write about it and I'm having flashbacks to all of those times I had to do a report on a book that some over zealous teacher picked solely because there were no Cliffs Notes for it.  (You knew you had reached the pinnacle of laziness when you wouldn't even read all of the Cliffs Notes but just the 2-4 page synopsis at the beginning.  Then again, at 114 pages, War and Peace is still too damn long).  So forgive me because this post is going to read like the bitter ramblings of a disinterested Ravens fan (because that's what it is).              
I'm not exactly sure who Patrick Swayze
would represent in this picture.  Coughlin?
Doing the Rumba and Merengue?  Yikes.  

Nobody Puts Eli in a Corner

In the words of the late great Jerry Orbach, "when I'm wrong, I say I'm wrong" and I was loud wrong about Eli Manning.  At this point, you have to put him on the same level with Brady, Brees, Rodgers and Roethlisberger as far as active quarterbacks go.  They were replaying parts of the Patriots' radio broadcast of the game on NFL radio on Monday and, after the second half touchdown pass to Aaron Hernandez, the announcer blurted something to the effect of, "would you take Eli over Tom now?!?"  Well, considering that Eli is three and a half years younger and just beat Brady in the Super Bowl again, yes.    

Belichick is a Genius

He's sitting on something like 12 picks in the first three rounds over the next two years (I know he has four in the first two rounds of the 2012 draft) so he will have plenty of chances to find and groom the Patriots' next great wide receiver.  That way when the Patriots eventually land a franchise quarterback, they will have plenty of weapons for him to throw to.  There were probably some media types "who never played a down in their life" who suggested using one of those coveted picks to trade for a guy like 2010 Pro Bowler Brandon Lloyd during the season (especially considering the last time Tom Brady had a quality receiver in Randy Moss, he threw 36 touchdown passes to him over two seasons).  

"I got a fever, and the only
prescription is more tight ends."
Belichick, however, dismissed that nonsense and built his offense around two really good tight ends, two possession receivers and whatever you want to call Chad Ochicinco and he was vindicated when Tom Brady and company lit-up every team on the schedule except for the Steelers, Giants and Ravens (but those were the only playoff teams they played other than the lousy Broncos . . .) DON'T QUESTION THE GENIUS!!!  Yes, he puts his pants on one leg at a time like the rest of us but, once his pants are on, he wins Lombardi Trophies (at least he does when he's playing against Jake Delhomme and Donovan McNabb).  Either Belichick doesn't recognize that the Brady window is closing or he doesn't think it matters.  Pride goeth before the fall.

Giselle

Let's start with the quote in case you haven't heard it.  "I can't believe they dropped the ball so many times.  My husband cannot f--king throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time."  Apparently she got in the face of a Giants' fan and yelled this while waiting for the elevator outside her suite in response to the fan telling her, "Eli owns your husband!"  First of all, Giselle has spent enough time in New York to know that she was not going to run a gauntlet of Giants' fans without taking some fire.  It is simply in their DNA like monkeys throwing poop at each other.  Second, good for her for returning fire and including the F-bomb for emphasis.  If she had just kept walking, the rest of the hyenas would have been all over her so she couldn't project weakness.  Third, she obviously didn't play a team sport in super model school because now Tom is going to have to make the dreaded "I apologize for my wife, I can't control her" speech to the team.  There is a rather crass expression that can be refined to something like this, "show me a super model and I'll show you a guy tired of having a non-Platonic relationship with her."  That's Tom Brady this week.

Tom Brady

"Quick, find me a clear spot on the
bench with a good camera angle."   
Speaking of the golden boy, my favorite sequence of the whole game was in the 4th quarter after he had been sacked hard on his left shoulder and Giants' tight end Jake Ballard had been helped off the field with a knee injury.  On one sideline, we had Brady rubbing and shrugging his non-throwing shoulder just to make sure we all knew that it was really bothering him.  On the other sideline, we had Ballard attempting to run-off a knee injury and then going down like he'd just been shot with an elephant gun.    

Madonna 

She's still got the skills but has lost more than a step, kind of like the guys in my Monday night hoops game.  Probably not a good thing when you're comparing the half-time show of the Super Bowl to a bunch of middle aged men running around on knees and ankles that went out of warranty 10 years ago.

In Closing

Hey Brady, how does it feel to get
picked-off by Joe the plumber?
The fact that the Super Bowl played out so much like I (and many others) predicted definitely diminished the drama.  Nicks, Cruz and Manningham outplayed Welker, Hernandez and a gimpy Gronkowski.  The Giants out-rushed the Patriots and played better defense and the biggest play of the game was made by a guy who looks like an extra on King of Queens.  In the end, the Patriots have averaged 15.5 points in their last two Super Bowl appearances and, after his 12th season of getting pounded and another brutal loss where he failed to pull off the comeback, you have to wonder how much longer Brady's going to want to do this . . . or how much longer his wife will let him.      

Playoff Record:  7-4 . . . Regular Season Record:  88-81-3.