Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Roadhouse Blues

I finally broke .500 (barely) despite the fact that at halftime of the early games, the Saints, Giants and Ravens were losing to the Rams, Dolphins and Cardinals by a combined score of 55-16 which meant they were 75 points away from covering.  None of them did but at least the Giants and Ravens managed to come back and win at home.  In the Ravens case, it was a matter of Joe Flacco looking at offensive coordinator Cam Cameron like Merle from Hoosiers and saying "I think Anquan can beat the guy who's guarding him if we set him up" (which is apparently pretty close to how it actually went down).  So Cameron needed his players to point out that when their Pro Bowl wide receiver (who is built like a linebacker and once came back and played in the same season in which he had 40 titanium screws put in his face) is single covered, they should just throw it to him and see if he can outfight the cornerback for it.  Sometimes I think Cameron would turn Calvin Johnson into the greatest possession receiver since Wayne Chrebet if given the opportunity.             

"Allow me to rip your
heart out Baltimore."
Now we just need to figure out why it took Cameron six quarters to figure out that a no huddle quick strike attack might be the way to go when (a) your offensive line is struggling, and (b) your quarterback has the pocket presence of an antelope crossing six lanes of rush hour traffic.  Suffice it to say that Ravens fans are giddy with anticipation for the Cameron/Dick LeBeau battle of wits after LeBeau went Gary Kasparov on Tom Brady last Sunday.  Personally, I can't wait for the multiple replays of Polamalu's strip sack on Flacco last year that decided the division and gave the Steelers home field advantage for the rematch in the playoffs.  Here's a pretty accurate dramatic reenactment of that game with the part of the Steelers being played by Patrick Swayze - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vaPeVFKCf1E&feature=related

A few other notes from last weekend:

The red tie suits you Jim.
1.  The Redskins look like they want a piece of the Andrew Luck action but they've already spotted the Colts three games and have therefore almost mathematically eliminated themselves.  Leave it to an Irsay owned team to go 0-16 in a year when that's a good thing.  How many times is the devil going to let them refinance?     

2.  I'm not going so far as to say that John Fox wants Tim Tebow to fail but let's just say he has no incentive to see him win.  I subscribe to the theory that every quarterback should be judged based on one simple question, "can we win the Super Bowl with this guy?"  If the answer is "no", you need to find a new guy.  (Cut to every Jets, Ravens, Bears, Cowboys and Falcons fan pondering the answer to that question like Jester when Viper asked him (about Maverick) "if you had to go into battle, would you want him with you?".......Jester's response - "I don't know, I just don't know.")  

“Life sucks, get a helmet okay.”
3.  Speaking of Tebow, whether you're outraged by the way the Lions mocked him on Sunday or you find yourself more in the Denis Leary camp, ("Jesus must be thinking even Judas had a better release than this guy"), you have to love the way the Lions are stepping-up as the modern version of the 70's and 80's Raiders in the wake of Al Davis' death.   Gordon Thiessen, the director for training and resources for the Nebraska Fellowship of Christian Athletes (and I'm guessing not a big Denis Leary fan), said it best, "I think the linebacker for the Lions was attempting to not mock God, but to mock Tebow and have fun with it, but it was still in bad taste and inappropriate, at best."  Yes it was and the league was a little more entertaining last weekend because of it.    

4.  If you actually do wager on these games, you need to avoid the Eagles, Cowboys, Giants, Titans, Panthers and Vikings.  They all have one or two offensive and/or defensive freaks who can singlehandedly swing a game either way and quarterbacks with a margin of error wider than a North Korean presidential election poll.  If I'm going down, I'll do it with one of the Big Four (Rodgers, Brady, Brees or Roethlisberger) or a guy I feel like I can trust like Ryan Fitzpatrick or Andy Dalton (wincing at the thought of him outplaying Joe Flacco for the next ten years).  Think of it like this.  The elevator ride with Glen Close seems like a good idea until you find the rabbit on the stove.